Lost and Wandering
by Bemac
Summary: AU. Present Day. Katniss is left alone. With nobody to comfort her she finds comfort in substances. She moves away to college but not her problems. Will a handsome blonde stranger help her cope? Rated M for sex, drugs and alcohol.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First things first, I do not own Hunger Games. The main characters are Katniss and Pete (Peeta - sorry Peeta's just not a modern day name), there are a few other familiar nam****es but they won't have major roles. Katniss is a bit standoff-ish and doesn't socialize enough to have all the friends she accumulated in the original stories. ****A fair warning, this story contains drug use, liquor consumption and sex. For those of you that wish to continue reading, enjoy!**

Loss. Death. Grief. Alone.

I was alone in the world. My guardian and Great Uncle Cornelius didn't care about me, I never saw him. He spent most of him time at his New York apartment. He never came to Denver and I never went to New York. The house-keeper, Amelia, was the one to sign my permission slips for school, take me to the doctor, manage the expenses, and anything else a guardian is supposed to do. She doesn't like me either. Before my family died she had it easy, being a paid house-keeper for an empty house. Then I came, a sad 13 year old girl who needed to be fed and cared for. Of course nannies were hired, but Amelia still thought it was unfair that she needed to be in charge of me. I didn't like to go out and I didn't have friends. I would stay tucked away in my wing of the house. My books were my saviors, I was able to forget myself and escape into exciting adventures and fantasy worlds. I dragged myself through middle school, ignoring my classmates unless assignments forced me to acknowledge them. They thought I was a weirdo. My teachers used to try to talk to Amelia about me being "anti-social" she started directing them to Dr. Aurelius, my therapist. I don't know why my teachers complained, I always did my homework and got A's throughout every class. I only truly enjoyed two classes; music class, where we got to sing three times a week, and gym class, where talking were required the least. My Father loved singing, him and I were both on our church's choir, we'd practice practically every day. When a song would pop into his head he would look at me with a smile and start singing the song, the songs ranging from Hymns to the Beatles to Waylon Jennings. I still think about singing and when I'm alone sometimes I'll sing, never with the same enthusiasm I used to. In gym class I found that when I'm physically active I was able to just focus on the sport we were doing, I liked soccer the best. When my Denver gym teacher saw me "come out of my shell" during class and told me I should join a soccer team. My therapist encouraged it. So I joined. I didn't try to make friends with my team mates, but I did go to their houses for the occasional pizza party or pool party. I thought of having one at my house, it was big enough and we had a nice pool, but I know Amelia would hate the idea. My team mates eventually stopped treating me like a social pariah and got used to my "shy" ways.

High school was different. I tried out for the school soccer team and got on JV my freshmen year and the Varsity team my sophomore year. Guys from the boys' team would try to ask me out, but when I kept refusing, they got pissed and called me a bitch. I shrugged it off, I'm sure Amelia has called me worse things behind my back. Though I didn't mind the girls on my team, I never thought of any of them as my friends. One girl on my team, Lavinia, had the "poor-little-rich-girl" syndrome and decided to take it out on her parents, she liked to throw huge parties whenever her parents left town, which was often. Since I was on her team, I got included on the guest list. I decided to start going. I quickly realized how much I liked alcohol, its numbing relief was wonderful. When joints started to infiltrate the party I found that I liked those too. It wasn't social for me though, I still didn't want to be friends with these people and they didn't want to be friends with me.

I relied on my driver, Edison, until I was 16. Then I got instructed to buy a car and that I shouldn't be so reliant on others. So I got my white BMW crossover. It was nice. I didn't gush over it like my team mates did when they got their first cars. Lavinia had demanded a Land Rover, and got it, but now her eyes were green with envy because Katie the cheerleader got a Audi convertible… We live in the mountains, where it snows... why she wants a convertible is beyond my understanding. With my own car I found more freedom, I started driving into the mountains to hike trails; that became my refuge. I started humming when I was hiking, then when I was certain that there were no other hikers I started singing. Singing made me feel free of my problems, it also helped that I was always stoned on my walks, quite the "freeing" experience. My favorite hike ended at a look-out, I could stay there for hours. In the summer I'd bring a book with me, climb a tree and relish in my solitude. I never worried about my safety, going on hikes alone. It wasn't that I didn't care about my safety, I just felt sort of, removed from it.

Even with my drinking and drugs I was still top of my class and a starter for the girls soccer team. Dr. Aurelius wasn't happy about my "free time" choices, but apart from suggesting I stop, what is he going to do? Ask my Uncle to come and ground me? Ask Amelia to take away my car? She's just get mad that I would have to bother Edison again.

Senior year came, and with it college applications. My Father had gone to University of Minnesota, so that was my first choice. Then because of their Anthropology programs, University of Michigan and the University of Chicago. With my grades I didn't think I'd have a problem getting into UMN.

My Uncle surprised me by turning up mid-November, he handed me a packet for Yale. "I know the dean, he's looking forward to meeting you."

I was _not_ going to go to Yale. I wanted to get away from my Uncle and anything connected to him. When I turned 18 I was going to be in charge of my inheritance, so I wouldn't need his money any more.

I told him which colleges I wanted to go to. Uncle's eyes went cold(er) and his nose wrinkled, "What kind of people are you going to meet there? You would meet the future leaders of America at Yale. Clean yourself up and get a better attitude and maybe you could land a Senator. If your Mother had used her social standing to her advantage she could have married one of the richest men in America, but instead she married Jim Everdeen."

My Father had been an architect and made a very nice living, but it was nothing to compare to the grandeur of the Snow family, add that to the fact that he didn't have any relations in politics and (in Uncle's eyes) there was no worse match in his niece. Uncle never had his own children so he was hoping that his brother's daughter would marry a high ranking Politian and have lots of babies (he probably thinks he could brain wash them into taking over the East Coast). He wasn't a visible figure in the political world, he reminded me more of a creepy puppet master.

It was after this conversation that I was told that Uncle was going to sell the house in June. The message couldn't be clearer, "Get out and don't come back". I didn't ask Amelia what she was going to do and she didn't ask me what I was going to do.

My letter of acceptance into UMN came. I didn't want to be scared about the future, I knew that this was the right thing for me. I would be leaving everything I knew behind me, again.

I didn't go to graduation. What was the point, knowing no one would in the crowd to cheer for me, and no one was going to hug me afterwards. Nobody has hugged me for a long time. I got a long hug after the funerals, by my old neighbor, but that was the last time. Instead of going to the graduation parties my classmates were having, I went home and finished packing.

Astonishment couldn't even begin to describe how I felt when I saw a card from Uncle.

"I do wish you the best and sincerely hope that you decisions aren't the ruin of you. Enclosed is the account information I have set up for you. This is the only time I will give you money. This will be our last correspondence."

I checked the slip enclosed, a million dollars in a high interest savings account. I smirked, he actually thinks that I would ask him for money. If I had agreed to Yale I'm sure he would have been happy to share his billions with me, introduce me to high society. Like that was supposed to tempt me. I donate half of it to State and National Parks, I put his name on it, chuckling to myself with the though of Uncle Snow being associated with anything to do with nature. His friends consist of Politians, and Politians whose money comes from Big Oil. I wish I cold see his face when they sent him the thank you note.

I don't bring much with me, clothes mostly. The only other thing I have to bring is a photo album with family pictures in it. No one says good bye as I leave Denver.


	2. Chapter 2

The drive to Minnesota goes by smoothly with the help of the joints I brought. I had been sure to bring as much as I felt comfortable traveling with, I knew nobody there and didn't how easy it'd be to get it there. My liquor shouldn't be a problem, I bought a good quality fake ID earlier in the year. As I got closer, I had thoughts of stopping in my old town, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I stayed in a hotel for a week while I found an apartment. I found a nice one just north of the University. I had gotten a letter with my dorm assignment, but I don't plan on staying in a dorm, especially since I had asked for a single, but got put in a double. If need be I'll pretend to live there while really living here. It's not like they'll be doing bed checks.

I walked through a model apartment, which was lavishly decorated in pink and white. Pictures of babies and puppies littered the wall. The gruff looking landlord that gave the tour looked even more out of place than I felt.

The location could not be beat.

"UMN?" Haymitch asked gruffly.

I nodded.

"We're not a sorority or a frat house here. The rent is due on the first of the month, every month."

"If I wanted to party or be social I would live in the dorm or join a sorority, but I don't so I'm not. And rent won't be a problem."

Paper work written up leases signed and I was set to move in the next Monday.

Freshmen orientation was at the end of June. I walked around the campus with the other freshmen, they all stayed in their little groups. The girls were all trying hard to fit in, and the guys were try to get laid. I didn't stay long, I found Middlebrook Hall where my dorm room was going to be, classrooms and the Quad.

My apartment is on the West Bank and the orientation was on the East Bank. I'll have to cross the river to get to some of my classes.

I had met him the day after I moved in, his apartment is below my next door neighbor, I had been sitting on my balcony, smoking, waiting for my new furniture to arrive.

"Hey, just move in?" He had called up from his balcony.

"Yep. Yesterday."

"Let me know if you need help moving anything, though I bet your boyfriend is here to help."

I almost hadn't answered, I took a few more drags off my cigarette and flicked it into my empty Sugar Free Red Bull can.

"I don't have a boyfriend and I don't need help. Thanks."

I had stood up and went inside, escaping to my apartment.

I run into him later in the hall.

There's no escaping him now. He has another girl with him at least.

"Hey, you're the new girl on level 3?"

"Sure am," I say.

"I'm Gale this is my girlfriend, Madge."

"Katniss."

"We were just on our way up to Gale's for a drink. I was just at the freshmen orientation and _really_ need one. Do you want to join?" Madge asked.

I hesitate. Socializing isn't really my thing… but, drinking is. "Yeah, sure. I went there too. Drinking will help me recover."

"Cool," Gale says, his grey eyes staring at me intensely. I'm not going to worry about it much, he has a girlfriend, a pretty blonde girlfriend.

We enter his apartment, the smell of pot is stale in the air. "Well," I think to myself, "At least there's a chance I'll get a weed connection through this guy."

His furniture is mismatched, an old green recliner and an ugly blue plaid sofa with a scratched up coffee table, a few lawn chairs are folded up and stacked against the wall, and there's two bar stools at the counter top.

I look over at the bong sitting on a shelf and give Gale a pointed look.

"Do you smoke?" He asks, obviously not talking about tobacco.

"Doesn't everybody?" I ask, semi-joking.

We smoke two bowls between the three of us. He's stuff isn't too bad.

"So, where are you from, Katniss. Katniss, I love your name by the way," Madge giggles.

"I was born in St. Cloud but lived in Denver."

"Oh, Gale and I are from Sartell!" Madge is excited about this. Sartell is just a few miles from St. Cloud. "When did you move?"

"When I was 13."

"Oh, which school did you go to?"

"South Junior High."

"OK, let's see, didn't Lacy Garmen go there?" Madge asks Gale and just he shrugs.

"That was a long time ago, I don't know if I'd remember any names," I say. Why didn't I lie, I should have just said, Denver, and leave it at that.

"Well that is so exciting, coming back home to Minnesota after all these years. Oh, I bet Colorado was just beautiful, I've never been but I can just imagine how beautiful it is with those mountains."

"Yep." The conversation goes quiet. I think of a question directed at them will stop them from asking me questions, "So, what are you thinking of studying?" I ask.

"Oh… I'm just going to get all the general classes done and then I'll decide. Gale is at the Dunwoody College for Technology. I was so excited when I got accepted-"

She's cut off by knocks on the door. Gale hops up to get it, he walks back with two guys and a girl. Their eyes all go straight to me.

"This is Katniss, she just moved in, she's going to be a freshmen at UMN too," Madge eagerly tells them, she turns to me, "This is Jo, Tom and Finn. Jo and Finn are going to be starting their 2nd year at UMN."

"Why'd you rent an apartment? You have to live on campus your first year," The girl, Jo said, looking me up and down.

"That's what they say, I'm not going to be staying in the dorms. I don't think I'd be able to stand having to live piled on top of one another."

"Oh, being piled on top of one another's not so bad," Finn tells me with a flirty smile. I smirk at him, "I'll leave that to others." Finn has that handsome "I'm a man-whore" look about him, tan, dark blonde hair with piercingly green eyes.

Tom had brought a bottle of cheap whiskey and a 2L of coke (beverage not powder).

"Who wants a drink?" Tom calls out as if he's the whiskey god. And people cheer…hm.

I take one and start taking long sips. I find out that Tom is going to school with Gale, Finn is gearing more towards a Biology major, and Jo is certain that she's going to be a psychologist. Gale and Tom want to be mechanics and are on their last year of school. Gale got a job here at the apartment as the on-site mechanic and also helps out with minor repairs.

"Who wants to play P n A?" Jo asks. The coffee table is brought to the center of the room and everyone crowds around. As the cards are dealt out Tom produces a blunt from some pocket somewhere on his person, sparks it and passes it around.

I quickly prove to them that I am no amateur. Everyone starts drinking and talking more.

"So Madge we know why you chose the U, but Katniss why did you chose to come back instead of staying in Denver? I get the feeling you're the outsider of your family." Jo, what's her deal? Why the hell is it her business where I go?

"Oh don' start this pysco babble, leave her alone," Gale tells her, "And drink four times." Gale was the V.P. while Jo was what I've always called "serf", which is anyone other than the President, V.P. Secretary, and Treasurer. After that then you start surf 1, surf 2, etc, until asshole, the lowest of the lows.

All those soccer parties really paid off, good training for later in life.

"I bet I already know your story anyways," Jo says with a drunken smirk.

I do my best to look bored as I watch the game, I was Secretary (for now), "Oh yeah?"

"Well lets see, you have Sevens jean's on, a Michael Kors purse, and diamond stud earrings. You are having to pay for a dorm room, but are refusing to stay in it, so instead your parents put you up in your own apartment that costs double what the dorm costs…Yeah, I'm going to have to say you're just spoiled."

Yeah, OK, bitch.

"And that's why I chose Minnesota instead of California or east coast?"

"You are probably just rebelling against mummy and daddy's wishes."

I set my cards down and look at her. "Mummy and Daddy don't have any wishes because they died with my little sister. My only family left is an Uncle. I stayed at his house in Denver for five years and saw him only twice. Once I graduated it was made clear that I wasn't welcome any more. So… The reason why I got an apartment is so that I could have a home, because I didn't want to stay in the dorms for holidays and summers," I practically spit that out at her, "So sorry if I pissed you off because of that. Finish that drink, serf."

The table was quiet. Then Finn said, "Well I think that some weed is needed. Eh, Tom?"

Tom pulled a sack out and loaded the bowl of his pipe.

"Who's turn?" I ask. The game resumes though what ever fun had been there is gone. Yeah, mentioning death usually does kill a party mood.

I didn't see Gale or Madge (who was staying with him until she could move into her dorm) for a little over a week.

I really liked my apartment, it's so much cozier than Uncle's house. It has a long L-shaped kitchen with an island counter top with a bar. I had gotten a small round café table with two chairs pulled up to it. The soft brown leather corner sofa has a matching chair. I have bookshelves throughout the apartment. A small one in my room, holds the long time favorites ranging from Emma to Lord of the Rings trilogy. The small den that has my desk and a chaise in it also has a bookshelf with school books. This is where I put my reference books and where I will put my text books as I get them. All the rest of my books fill two large bookshelves in the living room. I went to the store once to get some basics, mostly consisting of alcohol. I hole up in my apartment, smoking, drinking, reading, and watching the occasional movie. When I'm motivated to be active, I roll out my yoga mat and chose between the different yoga and pilates options on Netflicks.

When my weed stash starts dwindling I make contact with Gale and find that he has some to sell. He tells me he usually will have something to sell.

The summer goes by like a drunken blur, before I know it it's August and I need to go meet my roommate for a dorm room I'm not going to be at.

Clove Andreesen is already in our dorm room when I get there. With faded jeans that barely stay on her skinny hips and a long tie-dyed tank top, I get the feeling that this girl smokes. Maybe has better stuff that Gale.

She brushes her long brown hair out of her blue eyes, "Hey, you must be Katniss Everdeen. I'm Clove Andreesen. Looks like we're going to be party buds."

I give her a smile, "I probably won't be here much though, so you can take over most of my space."

"Shackin up with the boyfriend?" Clove asks knowingly.

"No, I have my own place. I don't think I would fit in with the "rules and regulations" that comes with the dorms."

She laughs, "Oh, don't I know that! I don't plan on following some of them though."

I find her easy to talk to. She'll be a good drinking partner.

We get to talking and then a knock on the bathroom door causes us to pause and look at one another quizzically. Clove opens the door, it's the two girls that we suppose to share the bathroom with. Delly, a bright bubbly blonde offsetted, Gia a fiery looking red head.

"I like to take my showers super early, so I'll probably be done and out before you all wake up. You guys should decide shower times amongst yourself."

No one speaks.

"I'll work mine in around everyone else's," Gia tells her and Clove and I nod in agreement.

Delly plops down on one of the beds, "So I hear that there's going to be a huge party at Delta tonight. Are you guys going?"

Clove and I quickly say, "No."

An awkward conversation follows, where Delly tries to find out how "cool" we were, if we were planning on pledging (gag) and what extracurricular activities we were going to do.

When they finally leave Clove tells me, "I've hear of a good party tonight. Do you want to come?"

Deciding that it could be fun, and that it _might_ be better than re-watching Downton Abbey season 1, I agree.

After some discussion it's decided that after Clove gets changed, will go over to my apartment for a pre-party.

"Holy Shit!" Clove says as she walks around my apartment, "Yeah, I'd chose this over the dorms too."

I offer her a drink, she chooses the whiskey out of my selection. We smoke a joint. Then I start to get ready, I slip on a pair of skinny jeans and a green silk wrap tank top. I toss a pair of beige colored heels towards the door for when we leave. I come back into the living room to see Clove lining up some lines of powder. She looks up.

"Is it cool?" I shrug, I'd never done it before, but I'm not one to judge, it's not like she shooting up, "Want some?"

I move over and sit down next to her before I even really think about it. Then just as if I'm a pro, I use the little straw and snort up a line. Wooo! I feel the disgusting taste dribble down my throat.

For the next hour Clove and I hang out, we listen to music, drink, smoke, and right before we walk out the door Clove gives us each one more line.


	3. Chapter 3

My freshmen year flew by, Clove and I became party buds. I guess we could be called friends, but our relationship doesn't really go beyond partying. That's how it been for me for the past few years, I have people I drink and party with, but no one I rely on and no one to rely on me.

When summer came, Clove went back to her hometown in Illinois, so I started hanging out with Gale and his friends a bit more. Clove had introduced me to her "friend" Boggs a few months ago, he could get me anything I wanted, lucky for me he was staying for the summer too. So I didn't need to rely on Gale's hook up any more, phew.

Jo and I were on better terms now, she turns out to be pretty cool and I find that I have a lot to talk about with her.

Gale and Tom graduated their Technical school and Gale now works at some other garage while Tom started working at some dealership on the other side of the city. Jo and I can't understand why Gale is still with Madge, she went home for the summer, they don't really have anything in common, and she seems to annoy him, she annoys all of us.

"If he'd ever break it off with her I'd jump him," Jo says bluntly, that's Jo, blunt.

"So give him a reason to break it off," I say, we've had this talk before.

"I'm not going to be that bitch that broke them up, she'd send her clan of blonde friends after me."

I laugh and finish rolling the joint. I had sprinkled about a line's worth of coke in with the weed.

"And where is Josh this evening?" Jo asks.

I roll my eyes, "I dunno. I haven't thought of putting a tracking device in him yet." Let me be perfectly clear. Josh. Is. Not. My. Boyfriend. No matter how much Jo likes to tease me about it. We hooked up once after a party and occasionally meet up now and again. He's not bad in bed, he could sure as hell use some practice.

Finn and Gale stop by a few minutes later, we had saved the laced joint until they got here. There was a party going on at one of Finn's friends parents house, so we're meeting up for the pre-party.

"Are you sure we shouldn't invite your boyfriend?" Jo asks sweetly to me.

I feel Gale and Finn's eyes on me, I take a take a big hit of the joint and exhale, "I'd have to give a shit about him to be my boyfriend. If you want to fuck him you can invite him."

Finn laughs out loud, he gets a kick out of my sex life, "Poor guy, he just doesn't stand a chance with you."

I just shrug.

While we're grabbing our things to go to the party, Jo asks Gale, "So, Madge is going to be coming back soon. Has your heart just been breaking in her absence?"

"Breaking into pieces, Jo, you have no idea how broken this poor man's heart is," Finn says grasping Gale's shoulder and shaking his head.

"We broke up," He says.

"Did you break up with her?" Jo asks.

"Yeah."

"Well about fucking time!" Jo cried out.

Gale looks at me for some reason, I give Jo and nudge and take a few steps a head to walk out with Finn, leaving Jo to "comfort" Gale.

Josh was at the party, much to my annoyance. I was talking to Gale and Finn and he comes up and starts drooling on my neck. As I walk away with him I feel Gale's eyes on the back of my head.

"Jesus, keep your tongue in your mouth for a few more minutes, OK?" I ask as he keeps trying to lick my neck. We go out to his Ford Explorer. We each take a few lines and I chug the rest of my drink, there I should be fucked up enough for this.

Josh grabs my waist and pulls me towards him.

"God, I want you so fucking bad, Katniss."

In response I start to rub between his legs, he lets out a loud groan. He starts unbuttoning my pants and I pull them down. Then I undo his pants, he pulls his dick out and slides on a condom, his dick is nothing special, but it can do the job when I'm in control of things.

"Suck it."

Every time we have car sex he makes me give him a blow job first, I think it's part of some fantasy or something. I take him in my mouth and he grabs my hair and moves me back and forth, when his grip on my hair slackens I sit up and straddle over him. He stops me, "You want it don't you. You need it."

I position my self so the tip of him is just grazing my wet spot, I gruffly whisper, "You want it more."

He slaps my ass, "Jesus, Katniss I feel how fuckin wet you are, you want it, say you want it."

I ignore him and slide myself around him. I start working towards my orgasm, I know I only have a few minutes. He slaps my ass a few more times, as I get his dick to hit my spot. I feel myself jerk and then let loose. Just a few moments later he lets out an exaggerated moan and his body twitches a little.

"Damn baby, you got a good ride, didn't you?" He says to me.

I get dressed again.

He looks at me, "You know, school is going to be starting soon. I'll be pretty busy."

"Yeah, I think it is time to call this quits," I say casually.

He makes a look of indignation, and I imagine that I'm not acting heartbroken enough. Did he think we were going out? Does he want me to cry?

"Yeah, maybe we can have a ride or two every now and then," He tries to turn this back around where he's "dumping" me, but you can be dumped if you aren't going out.

"Another line?" He lines some up on a cd case again. As I wipe my nose, I say, "See ya around." I walk back into the party and find Jo playing a game with shots of gin. I cheer her on for a bit, then Gale comes up, "Want a cigarette, Kat?"

I follow him outside and bum one off him, I don't really smoke, but after coke it give me something to do with my hands.

We're quiet for a while then Gale breaks the silence, "Josh is a dick."

"Yeah, and not even a good one," I say and laugh at my joke.

"So what are you doing? You could have someone better, who would treat you better than how Josh treats you."

"I didn't want Josh to treat me as anything other than a fuck buddy, because that's what he was to me. And I don't need a lecture, OK?"

Nothing else is said that night.

The nearing of the first day of school gives me an increased need to get away from campus, my favorite spot is just a 30 minute car ride from campus. I usually bring a book, a red bull, some joints and head down there to un-wind.

Mid-day on weekdays there usually isn't many people here, so that makes it my favorite time to visit.

I have my Red Bull drained before I reach my destination and park the car. I'm the only one in this lot, that's a good sign for the day. My book and a joint are safely tucked away in a small satchel that crosses over my faded red cotton button down top. My green Nike frees carry me all over. I smoke some of the joint then put it back in it's little tin for later. I let my feet carry me randomly around the park before I start heading in the direction of "my spot". I start out humming then progress to singing **Blowin in the Wind** by Dylan. Bob Dylan was one of my Dad's and mine favorite to sing when we were out walking or camping.

I neared my favorite spot, a small clearing with a few picnic tables, I usually stop and read for a while here. My voice starts fading slightly while I dig in my satchel for the rest of the joint, just as I take it out of the tin I hear footfalls stop right in front of me, I drop the joint back in the pack and my head snaps up. There's a guy blocking my path. A very handsome guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, amazing blue eyes, that are staring at me, he is full blown starring, his mouth is even hanging open. What is this guy's deal? Awkward. I offer him a small smile before stepping around him.

"Hi," He says to me, I turn to look at him again and say, "Hi" back.

As I walk into the clearing I see he had three friends by one of the picnic tables. Damn, there goes my plan of reading and smoking here. I have no choice but to walk across the clearing to another path that winds its way around the clearing and back to where I parked.

I'm about half way across when I hear a soft "thud", I turn and see a soccer ball rolling towards me. I see that it was one of the guys at the picnic table, he holds his hand up and calls, "Little help!"

I stop the ball with the tip of my shoe, causing the ball to flip up in the air, I bounce it twice on my knees "why am I showing off for these guys?" I ask myself. It's been over a year since I've played soccer, and I hadn't realized how much I missed it. I trap it back on the ground than send it back to the guy who had kicked it.

He receives it just to kick it back. I smirk up at him before stopping it again. The blonde guy had been standing in the same place I left him, then I heard him call, "Over here," to me. He starts taking steps towards me and I kick the ball to him, as I start to turn away he calls, "do you want to play?"

He sounds like a kid on the playground. He jogs over to me kicking the ball a bit in front of him as he gets closer to me, "Come on, we were going to kick the ball around a bit then have some beer. You should join us"

Well, I am thirsty.

"Yeah, for a little while, I guess."

The guy gives me a big grin, "I'm Pete."'

Tell him a fake name, tell him a fake name, "Katniss." Damn it.

"Nice to meet you, come meet my friends."

I'm introduced to Mike, Kevin and Mark, who is Pete's older brother.

"Usually we use those two trees," Mark points, "and that tree and the picnic table," He points again, "as goals."

Teams are picked out, I'm on Pete and Mark's team against Kevin and Mike. I feel slightly uncomfortable playing with four strange guys, but mostly I feel annoyed that I end up on the team with three, like I'll a handicap because I'm a girl.

We play first team to five is the winner. At first it's suggested that I play keeper. I hate that position, watching everything but being tied to the goal. I have always played mid-field or defense if absolutely needed. When you're a mid-fielder you have basically free rein for the length of the field, going from offense to defense as needed.

"We don't need a goalie, it's three on two, one of us shouldn't go past the halfway point from the goal. I guess I can be that one, if neither of you are _good_ at defense."

Mark chuckles a bit before agreeing to be defense.

The game goes well, all the guys are pretty good, Kevin and Mark aren't very fast runners though.

I take a slide kick and get the ball away from Mike and it goes into the "goal" ending the game at 5-2.

I take them up on their offer of beer, as we sit at the table drinking, I say to Mike and Kevin, "This is when you're supposed to say how you took it easier on us because I'm a girl."

Pete laughs, it's a pleasant laugh, it causes me to smile a little before I stop myself.

"There is no shame in being beat by a soccer Goddess," Kevin says flashing me a smile.

I roll my eyes and take a long drink off the beer. More small talk is made, after they all say that they go to UMN, I reveal that that's where I go to. Pete, Kevin and Mike are in their third year, Mark is in his final year. Once my beer is gone, I toss it in the trash can and swing my legs back over the picnic bench.

"Well, thanks from the game and the beer, I need to get going. Nice to meet you all."

I'm a few steps away when I hear Mark hiss, "Dude."

Then I hear foot steps catching up to mine, I turn and it's Pete.

"A bunch of our friends are going on a camping trip this next weekend, it's a tradition we do ever year. Would you want to come?"

This guy expects me to willingly follow him and his three friends into a forest for a weekend? That seems like a good beginning for a horror movie.

"You could bring some friends with you. Of course I'd rather you not bring a boyfriend."

"I don't have a boyfriend," I tell him and see his face brighten, "But I'm busy. Besides how could I know that you're not luring me away into the wild for some sadistic sacrifice."

"I promise we're not," He's says with a smile, knowing I'm joking.

"Sorry, I already have plans." Yeah, drinking, smoking and watching Downton Abbey season 2, big plans, "You guys have fun."

I walk away and reach my path, I feel bad. Pete was so nice, not to mention hot! I shook my head to clear it away from the image of sweaty Pete running around, his blue tee shirt had started sticking to his muscles, making them more defined, brushing his blonde hair off his face. Shaking my head doesn't stop me from thinking about how he would look with his shirt off, how those sweaty bulging muscles would feel.

I spark the joint and smoke the rest of it. There, horny thoughts about the blonde hottie gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Classes start and I throw myself into my school work. My Professors think I'm a such devoted student, really I just need something to focus on so I stop thinking about everything else. Drugs help too. I don't spend as much time with Clove as I did last year, I think she might be struggling with her "issues", what her issues are exactly I don't know. We never talked about our problems, just helped each other hide from them. We were more allies against the harsh reality of the world.

It first starts snowing two days before Thanksgiving, the day classes get out. It start piling up early morning, around noon I hear people worrying about getting snowed in, I'm not too worried, I can easily walk home from here and once I get there I can stay there for five whole days. Much to my annoyance, Gale had asked if I wanted to drive with him to Sartell for Thanksgiving with him and his family, he was leaving tomorrow morning, he promised that it'd be _fun_. Yeah, watching another family's happy holiday as an outsider… Boat load of fun. I turned him down, I probably scowled at him also. He kept trying to look after me, lately he's been offering to change the oil in my car or put winter tires on it. He's even randomly knocked on the door with pizza last week, asking to come and hang out. I know what he's trying to do, I'm not an idiot. But he has to be, if he can't see that I am not interested. I don't want a friendship with him and I certainly do not want a romantic relationship.

I went to the store after class yesterday to stock up, mostly whiskey, though I did get a loaf of bread and more peanut butter too… See I can be responsible, I realize that my body needs something to go on. I truly believe that all I need to "survive" is peanut butter (protein), V8 juice (vegetables), bread (grains), throw in a banana or two every now and then and there's my fruits. The food pyramid from school is grossly over done.

The campus started emptying as the last classes let out and people hurried to their family homes. The libraries were going to be closed for the holidays starting tomorrow, so I decide to go there tonight to do some research on a paper that's due after break. I dip a few of my cigarettes in some coke for while I'm there, then I do a line. I wipe my nose and put the coke sack back in an old altoids tin along with a little straw.

I throw my gray winter coat over my sweatshirt, slip my hands into my extra warm gloves, I had a pair of thin gloves with the fingers cut off, to wear in the library. I tuck my braid around my neck and zip up to my chin. After pulling my red hat past my ears, I'm ready to brave the snow. The library is only 4 blocks away so I usually walk there. By the time I get to the library the wind is starting to pick up, I decide to only stay for an hour.

I set my phone to buzz when my time is up, I'm terrible about keeping track of time when I'm in the library, I can get so caught up with what I'm reading if it's interesting, usually it's only my coke buzz fading out that brings me around. When I'm getting ready to head back I'm surprised that there are still some people milling in and out of the library. My thoughts start to stray to my families' traditions for Thanksgiving. We'd always eat Indian food the night before, I think my parents started doing it when she was pregnant with me and had cravings. I step outside and my hands start feeling clammy, I light up one of my laced cigarettes, to give me that extra spark, to get home. After it's lit I pull one of my warm gloves over my thin one and quickly drain the cigarette. It's pretty watching it snow, it'll be prettier watching it from home.

"Katniss?"

I jumped slightly nearly dropping my cigarette. I look over and see a pair of bright blue eyes and a smile look out from under a hat.

I drop my nearly finished cigarette in the "putter outer" by the door.

"Hi, Pete right?" Like I could really forget those beautiful eyes.

His smile widen and I could tell he was thrilled that I remembered him.

"Yeah! How are you? Trying to get some last minute studying in?"

"Yeah, didn't want to have to worry about it over the weekend."

"Yeah, my brother wanted to have an "early Thanksgiving dinner" with his fiancée, so we're waiting till tomorrow to leave. I think it'll be cleared up by then. Where are you headed for the holidays?"

"I'm staying here."

"Oh, does your family live here?"

Awkward question.

I shake my head no.

He looked at my incredulously, "Don't tell me you're spending Thanksgiving alone."

"OK, I won't," My hand starts twitching for another cigarette, "But it's no big deal. I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving besides being thankful for a long weekend." I won't tell him about my plans to get black out drunk for three days and recover for the forth and fifth. My desperation gets the best of me and a light up another cigarette. Pete pulls out his own and lights it before looking at me.

"Your family doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving?" He asks not believing it.

"I don't have a family," I say bluntly, "They died". This January it will be 7 years. I take an extra long drag off my cigarette then chance a look up at Pete. I find it hard to look in his eyes, like I was a scared of getting lost in them. Needing to get off the topic I ask, "Was your camping trip fun?"

"Yeah, next time you should come."

"We'll see," Then I start edging away, "Well I'll see you around."

"Can I give you a lift somewhere?"

"No, I live just a few blocks down."

"My car is parked right there," He points at the bottom of the library stairs.

"Illegal parking?" I scoff, "Clearly I shouldn't trust your driving skills."

He laughs, "I had forgotten my bag earlier," He holds up his book bag, "I just had to run in and grab it."

"It's not far at all, just down the street."

"Then it's not far out of my way. Please, I don't want to leave you to walk home in this blizzard." Hardly a blizzard, I've had to walk to class in much worse than this.

I finally agree, and we walk towards his a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

"Feel free to hold my arm, the steps might be slippery," He says and flashes me a smile.

I make it down without holding on to him and with out slipping. He opens my door for me and I stop, "If you tell me your last name, I won't feel quite so guilty taking a ride from a stranger."

"Mellark, Pete Mellark. And may I have yours?"

"Everdeen." I get into his car and closes the door once I'm situated. I look around, he takes good care of his car, no left over drinks or fast food bags. Just a pack of cinnamon gum in the middle consol and a bottle of water.

"Where to?"

"Down 19th to 2nd Street."

"Can I ask what happened to you parents?" Pete asked cautiously.

"They died," I say again, I know he's asking How? "A car accident. My parents and my little sister. It was almost seven years ago," I mumble.

"I'm sorry."

I shrug. I look ahead.

Pete's driving slowly down 19th.

"What are you plans for this weekend?"

"I'm not celebrating Thanksgiving," I repeat somewhat annoyed at him for bringing it up again.

"Well yes I know, but what are you doing this weekend? I was going to come back a day early. Would you want to get a drink or go out for dinner somewhere?"

He's asking me out. This perfect Ken doll is asking me out. So why do I stutter out, "I..I don't know."

"Well how about I'll call you when I get back and we can see if you feel up to it."

But then he'll have my phone number.

"That's my building up there," I say pointing. After he pulls to the curb, "Can I walk you to the door?" I open a notebook and jot my number down on a corner and rip it off and hand it to him, "That's not necessary. I'll see you around, Pete."

"Bye, Katniss."

I hurried inside and up to my apartment. I let out a long exhale. I poured myself a couple ounces of whiskey before throwing it back, then filling up another and adding ice. I step out on to the balcony with my drink and close the door behind me. I lean against the railing and close my eyes. It's so quiet, not a lot of people are out driving as the roads are getting pretty bad.

I hear someone call, "Hey!" and my jaw clenches. I turn to look down at Gale's balcony.

"Hey," I say back without enthusiasm.

"I was just getting ready to have a drink. Want one?"

I raise my glass in answer, "Already there."

"Can I come up?"

"Sure," I mumble and hear him close his door. I sigh. If he brings Thanksgiving with his family again I'll scream.

A knock on the door lets me know he's here. I slowly walk over and open the door before heading back out to the balcony. I light up a cigarette and stand there looking out.

"Is this what your going to do all weekend?" He asks coming up next to me and pulling out his own pack of cigarettes.

"No, I'd freeze if I stood out here that long."

I know he's asking if I'll just stay home and drink alone all weekend. Why does he care. He's not even my friend, we just drink together. That is it. Period.

"I was thinking that I could wait to leave on Thursday, if you wanted to come, we could even drive back that same day."

In my mind I scream, "I'm not going to your F-ing family dinner!" I take a drag with a shaking hand, before turning to him, "Gale, I am not going. I don't want to." There's an obvious edge in my voice.

"You'd rather stay here drunk and alone?" He snaps back at me.

"What does it matter to _you_ what I do?" The fact that he invites himself up here and then starts arguing with me, irritates me to no end.

He stays quiet for a moment, I see his hand start moving towards me, I flick my cigarette at my large ashtray and turn to go inside, pretending that I hadn't noticed that Gale was going to try to touch me. He comes in a few seconds later closing the patio door behind him. He doesn't try anything again, we share a blunt that he brought and I offer him some whiskey, which he takes. About an hour later he gets up to go, "I'll see you later, I have to work Saturday, so I'll be back in town by then." Why is he telling me this? I'm not going to be pining for him and counting down the days. I just give him a little half wave and he walks away.

I wake up but keep my eyes closed, I'm leaning against something cold and hard. The bath tub. As soon as I realize where I am I lunge for the toilet. I clutch the rim as I heave in to it.

When I'm able, I stumble to my living room to find some weed. After I smoke some and feel less nauseous, I brush my teeth and drink some water with some Tylenol. Then I crawl into my bed and bury myself in pillows and blankets. Around mid-day I rise and do some lines then pour some whiskey.

I wake up and it's dark outside, and I'm cold. I notice the balcony door open, I was laying on the floor halfway between the couch and the door. I stand up and slide it closed. I pick up my drink from the table and take it with me to the shower. I smoke a joint after my shower then fall asleep on my bed.

I wake up and am at least somewhat sober because I am able to notice that my sheets smell like whiskey and puke, I quickly climb out of bed still half asleep, then I smoke a joint (for the nausea), then draw up a nice line (for energy). I strip my bed and wash everything. As I'm pouring a glass of water I see the empty whisky bottle in the sink, along with the tequila bottle. When and why did I drink that? I have more whiskey. That tequila had been sitting around ever since some random margarita night Clove and I had. I throw both bottles in the trash. I refill my ice trays for later tonight (that's me, always thinking for the future). Before I start drinking again for the day I make myself eat a peanut butter sandwich (see responsible). I fall asleep for a few hours, when I wake up it's eight o'clock and dark out, I feel entirely too sober. I pour myself a fresh drink and turn the TV on, that's when I notice that it's only Thanksgiving Day. I try to think back to how that's possible, it seems like several days have passed. When I'm pouring my second drink, I hear my phone buzz and have to dig it out from the bottom of my back pack, I don't recognize the number and I answer it before my brain, numbed by drugs and alcohol, can register that I shouldn't.

"Hello?"

"Katniss? Hey it's Pete."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Don't sound messed up, try to sound normal. Shit, what do normal people sound like.

"Hi."

"I came back early to study. Do you want to hang out. I brought a bunch of leftovers and would be willing to share… Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing…" He's bribing me with food. Good home cooked food.

"OK, you talked me into it," I say and then I hit my forehead with my palm, what am I doing?!

"Great! What apartment are you? Is an hour OK?"

"Number 335, an hour's fine."

After I hung up with him I couldn't move for a while. I break out of my trance then start to rush around cleaning the place up. I did a small bump of coke to get my mind to focus and drank lots of water. I took a shower to make extra sure I don't smell like puke any more and brush my teeth. Brush my I pull on some faded jeans and a black thermal long sleeved top. I look in the mirror, I look tired, I put some eye cream and face lotion on and it helps a little. An extra day would help more, but I don't have that. I pull the bed sheets out of the dryer to make my bed, as I'm recovering the pillows, I scold myself, Pete is not going to come into my room, I don't need to make the bed. I hear a knock at the door and I want to run, I want to hide and not answer the door. But I drag my feet towards the door and open it up. He's standing there with a large bag, he gives me a smile and steps in. He takes my apartment in as he sets the bag on the table.

"Nice place."

"Thanks," I give it another glance around to make sure it's presentable. The only people that are usually in my home are my drinking buddies, who are there to drink, not really "socialize" or critique my choice of furniture. "Do you want a drink?" I ask before I think, what mixers do I have? Ice? The soda is long gone.

To my relief he says, "I brought some wine to go with the food". For some reason it's the fact that he brought wine that makes it dawn on me, this is a date!

He starts pulling food containers out of his bag and asks me, "Can you get some plates?" He asks nicely and politely, I wonder if he can sense my nerves.

I set the plates down. I can't believe he is here, on Thanksgiving Day! I turn to get silverware and wine glasses.

"Did you need to come back to study?" I ask.

"Yeah," He says slowly.

I start to process the situation, did he leave his family to have dinner with me?!

"I also wanted you to have a Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving Day," He confesses.

"You didn't have to do that," I tell him quietly.

"We usually eat around 3 then after that everyone just sits around in sloth mode for the rest of the day. It doesn't really make a difference leaving today or tomorrow."

I don't know what to say. People don't do nice things for me. Sure I have Jo, Clove, Gale and Finn, but those are just my drinking buddies.

We sit down at my table, which usually hosts drinking games. I usually eat at my bar table.

"I hope you haven't already eaten, I brought some of everything."

I almost laugh, as I think, "I ate a peanut butter sandwich four hours ago to soak up alcohol".

I shake my head, No, that I haven't eaten yet.

He starts pouring food on to each of our plates.

"Didn't you eat already?" I ask.

He looks up at me and laughs, "Yeah, but my brothers and I have this tradition for a "round 2" so to speak. We figure our bodies need the energy to process all the food we ate earlier."

"That's quite the logic."

The food is fantastic! I don't feel like eating a lot, mostly because I still feel slightly nauseous. But even though it's been years, I can still recognize good quality home cooked food.

"Turkey and gravy have always been my favorite part of the meal."

After I don't respond with more than a small smile and a nod he asks, "What are you studying for?"

"I'm majoring in Anthropology," I say and think about stopping there, but continue, "I keep going back and forth between Religion and Geography for my minor. What about you?"

"I'm getting my B.S. in Physics. If I stay on track, I'll be done a semester early, then I'm applying for med school. If I do get done early then I'll have more time to prepare for exams."

We fall into slightly easier conversation, talking about classes, favorite or worst professors. He has wanted to be a doctor since he was little, to follow in his Dad's footsteps. His older brother is going to be graduating med school in Chicago next year.

"Your Dad must be proud."

"He loves it, he wants both of us to join him at Mayo's. I know I'd love to, but I think that Charlie wants to stay in Chicago," He takes a deep sigh, his plate is nearing empty, "What did you Dad do?"

"He was an architect. We lived in St. Cloud, he designed a few buildings in St. Paul and one downtown here."

"Cool! That would be amazing having your work displayed like that. You said he went to UMN?"

I nod.

"So did my Dad, and my Mom, they met on campus. Where did your parents meet?"

I have to think for a moment, "He was in Boston for a conference, she lived there." Then I remember more and laugh, "He said that he saw her running in a park on his first day there, he didn't talk to her that day, but went back for the next few days until he saw her again and introduced himself… He used to tease her that he had to practically beg her to have a cup of coffee with him."

He looks amused for a moment, "She must have made quite the first impression."

"They were married less than a year later, even though her parents hated my Dad."

"Why?"

"He wasn't old money. My Mom was suppose to marry into politics, but instead moved to Minnesota and married an Everdeen," I pause, "Her Uncle is my only living relative, can you guess how much he likes me?"

"Did you have to live with him?" I could tell his eyes were on me, probably filled with pity.

I scoffed, "I lived in his house in Denver. I've only seen him twice in my life, he lived in New York. He visited me my senior year and basically told me to put on a dress, go to Yale and marry and future Senator. When I didn't want to, he went back to ignoring me, then sold the Denver house after I graduated."

Jesus, I'm just full of sob stories, aren't I, such a cheerful dinner companion.

"He didn't stay with you after your parents died, he just left you alone?" He sounds almost angry.

"Well, really, I probably would have hated New York, so I'm glad I didn't live with him. He hired nannies and stuff to watch me, so I wasn't _alone_." I'm not going to mention that housekeeper who hated me. I need to stop talking about this, his plate is empty and I'm done. I stand up. "I'm going to step out for a smoke. Want one?" I ask. He stands to join me. I slip my feet into my uggs, that I leave by the balcony door, and wrap a bulky sweater around me.

I lean my elbows on the railing and look out, "I love the summer months but there is something so nice about snow."

"It is beautiful," He agrees, "I think I like the fall best, with the leaves changing colors, it makes everything so vibrant."

We sit in a comfortable sort of silence for a while. Then he tells me, "When we first met, in the park, I heard you singing."

I blush, that was so embarrassing.

"It was the most beautiful sound I ever heard."

My blush takes over my whole face and I take a long drag to try to calm my nerves. What do I say to that? What _should_ I say?

"Thank you."

"Your welcome…Mike said I looked like I was in a trance when I went to find you."

I want to cover my face with my hands, why is he telling me this? He makes me sound like some sort of Siren. It's the thought of me as a Siren, luring men to me, that makes me laugh.

He chuckles too, and nudges me, "I'm serious. I got teased so bad after you left, by Mike most of all."

He's quiet for a while, my mind is whirling with the thought of him and his friends and family talking about me, him thinking my voice is beautiful, being drawn to me. Was I a topic of conversation for his family's Thanksgiving Dinner. I feel panicky.

"Can I tell you something else," He asks with a small smile.

"There's more!" I can help but exclaim, "You only met me once."

He stops and looks at me for a moment, then laughs.

"I guess you made quite the first impression on me. This beautiful girl walking out of the forest singing. I was amazed at how effortless you made it seem, you were singing like it was the most natural thing in the world to you…"

"I'm not beautiful," I scoff and start digging my finger nail into the wooden railing. His eyes are on me and a take a chance and look up and feel myself getting lost in his blue eyes.

"I actually went back to that park a few times after that day, hoping to see you."

I look away and freeze, that story sounds familiar, that was my parent's story. He can't be serious, he _can't_.

I think he's trying to lighten my mood when he asks, "Any chance of getting a song out of you?"

I shake my head quickly, "No." Doesn't he know that people don't _really_ feel and think these things he's talking about. He's making it seem like it was love at first sight. I feel my stomach drop when that thought crosses my mind. Surely he doesn't think that he's in love with me.

"Sorry… I know I just blurted everything out. I just needed to tell you…"

"Do you want to go inside? I'm freezing," I say.

We both step inside and close the door. I slip out of my boots but keep the sweater on. I look out the window for a moment.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asks.

Do I want him to leave? I repeat the question a few times before I answer, "No."

A few beats of silence before I hear him start walking towards the table.

"Is it OK if I put the leftovers in the fridge?"

"Sure," I turn around and start clearing the table, I drain the wine left in my glass. Pete sets the containers in the fridge, which I remember is embarrassingly bare. If memory serves me right I have three cans of Sugar Free Red Bull, a bag of carrots and a container of red pepper hummus. He's going to think I'm anorexic or something.

"Do you want more?" He asks holding up the wine bottle.

I nod and he pours us each a glass, emptying the bottle. As he throws it away I see him do a double take as he looks in my trash. Looks in my trash? Why? Then I remember the whiskey and tequila bottles in there… Well great, I think they were right on top too. Am I going to get a lecture from this future doctor?

Instead he asks if I want to watch a movie. I agree, I know it's late, but I don't really want him to go.

I open the cabinet under the TV that houses my DVDs.

"What's your favorite?" He asks.

I shrug, "Depends on the day."

He gives me a look, he's expecting an answer.

"I guess Lord of the Rings." Now he probably thinks I'm some weirdo who thinks that elves are real.

"Great movie, which one do you think is the best? I like the first one the best."

I think for a moment, "I like the last book the best, but I think the second movie was the better of the three."

"Well, how about we watch both?"

I laugh, "I think that be a bit too late."

"Well, we can watch the first one tonight and the second one tomorrow night."

"Are you inviting yourself over?" I joke.

"You can come to my place if you want," He sends a smile at me, "We could even make a day of it and watch the third one also."

"I thought you came back to study."

"Yeah, I kind of fibbed about that."

"Oh," I say, I think I know what he's going to say.

"Yeah, I'm actually all caught up in my classes. But, I met this amazing girl this summer and then spent two months thinking about and looking for her. Then right before Thanksgiving I found her outside the library. After I rescued her from a blizzard she told me she was spending the holiday alone… You couldn't expect me to stay away."

"I don't think you really _rescued_ me," I say shyly.

"That's how I'm going to tell it."

I tuck my feet under me and settle on one end of the couch, Pete on the other end. We talked some, but mostly sat in silence.

I remember when they got to Rivendell hearing Pete say, "This is my favorite part." I don't remember if I answered him or not, my eyes wouldn't stay open.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up in my bed the next morning. As I remember the previous evening I realize that Pete probably carried me to my bed after I fell asleep on the couch. I blush at the thought of him carrying me. This guy is too much. He left a note telling me to call him when I woke up. It was only 8 in the morning and I needed some time to think, so I decided to wait a while. When it gets past 10 I dial his number, my hands shaking slightly his phone rings twice before he answers.

"Good morning" He says cheerfully.

"Hi."

"Are you ready to continue the trilogy?"

"Yeah."

"Great I can come pick you up and we can watch them here. I picked up some stuff for lunch earlier."

"I can drive, it's no trouble."

After adamently insisting that I'll drive myself, he gives me the address and a brief description.

I decide on a pair of red corduroys and a long silk tank top with a cream colored pullover sweater. I try not to over think the fact that I made sure to wear cute matching bra and panties. I braid my hair into a long braid and drape it over my right shoulder. Am I expected to make up on? No, it's just watching movies at his house, casual. Besides, I only own eyeliner. I grab the box set of the Lord of the Rings, and start bundling up in coat, boots, hats and gloves.

It starts snowing again as I pull into his freshly scooped driveway. It's a townhouse he shares with his brother, who is still in Rochester.

I ring the bell and he swings the door open to greet me.

"Come on in," He takes my coat and hangs it in a coat closet for me. I slip out of my boots to leave them by the door.

"How did you sleep?" He asks.

"Good," I feel my pulse quicken, "You carried me to bed?"

He looks down for a moment, "Yeah. I didn't want to wake you, but I couldn't leave you on the couch. Is that OK?"

I give something halfway between a nod and a shrug, or maybe it was a twitch.

He lead me into the living room and told me to take a seat.

"Hot Chocolate?"

"Yes, thank you."

I looked around the room, it was obviously a guys house, but nicely taken care of. A large flat screen hangs on the wall next to a fireplace. He brings me a large mug of hot chocolate, it was richer and creamer than I had ever had it.

"Should we get the show started?" He asks.

About an hour in we pause for some soup, a delicious broccoli cheese soup with freshly toasted bread.

We stand on his deck just outside the kitchen for a smoke. While we sit on the chairs he brushed off for us, watching it snow harder and harder, Pete started telling me stories from camping trips with him and his brothers. He is so descriptive and talks with such emotion I feel as if I'm there sitting at the campfire roasting marshmallows with them.

When I start to get cold, I suggest going back in, he stands immediately and holds his hand out to me. I reach out and our hands touch, he pulls me to my feet but doesn't let go of my hand, I don't want him to. I'm almost 20 years old, why am I getting butterflies in my stomach from a boy holding my hand!

We hold hands and go back inside.

"Can we have a fire?" I ask, my mind still on him campfire stories.

"That's a great idea," Pete says enthusiastically. He grabs a pile of dry wood from the garage and piles it in. I sit in front of the hearth watching him as creates a large hot fire. I warm instantly and close my eyes, feeling the heat hit my face. I open my eyes and see that Pete is sitting next to me watching the fire. I think about what I'd be doing if Pete hadn't come back, I'd be three days into my bender.

"I'm glad you came back, Pete. Thank you."

His eyes instantly leave the flames and we look into each others eyes. I'm unable to look away, I find my self wanting to kiss him, wanting him to kiss me.

He reaches his hand to my face and brushes a lock of hair off my face and tucks it behind my ear, his hand rests there. Then we both lean towards one another, his hand still on my cheek. Our lips gently touch one another, I feel almost a spark that shoots all over my body, making me feel alive. Neither of us pull away, the gentle touch becomes hungrier. My brain is unable to comprehend anything other than the feel of Pete's lips on mine. We break apart, I feel breathless and my heart is pounding.

"I had to come back, Katniss. You were here."

He kisses me again, this time his tongue caresses the tip of my lower lip, my mouth instantly opens our tongues meet and a rush of desire over takes my body. From a kiss! Our first kisses, in front of a roaring fire, I didn't think romance like this existed. One of his arms circles around my back holding me closer to him, he leads forward more gently lowering me to the ground. He hovers over me leaning on one elbow and bringing the other arm from around my waist and places it on my cheek. I run my hands over his back, resting on his shoulders. His hand leaves my cheek and traces down my neck then around my collarbones, then slow slightly as they go right along the curve of the side of my breast, his hand skims along the rest of my torso before resting on my hip. I feel my body screaming for more of his touch.

I feel him pulling away, removing his hand from my hip. I mentally beg, "No! More!"

He looks me in the eyes, "You're beautiful."

I bite my tongue to stop me from scoffing. He must have noticed, because I see a small half smile form on his mouth.

He gives me one light kiss, "How about we watch the movie."

Really? We're stopping to watch a movie? I was frustrated as he stood up and held his hand out to me to help me up. I take it with a slight eye roll. He pulls me up then hold me close and gives me a long kiss, "I want to take things slow with us."

Us. _Us_. I've never been an "us" before. Do I want to be an "us"?

He kisses me again, mouth closed but with so much passion my knees felt weak.

We sat on the couch, I curl on next to him and his arm wraps around me to hold me close. The comfort I feel is unreal, I would be happy to stay like this for hours. How is it possible that just yesterday I was drinking alone, and now instead of still being drunk and alone, I'm cuddling on a couch. Have I ever cuddled with someone? certainly not romantically. He's using words like "us" and saying that we should take it slow, meaning he wants to spend more time together. Should I allow this? These types of things don't happen to me. My thoughts are quieted when he gives me a kiss on my forehead.  
When the movie is over, we stay curled up for a bit longer, I could sleep just like this.

"I have to go get my brother tomorrow morning," He says, breaking the comfortable silence, "We drove down together, and I kind of left him without a car."

I laugh, "I can't believe that you actually left early".

He turns so we're facing one another, "You don't know the effect you have on me. I had to come to you". He puts his hand on the back of my head and pulls me in, our lips crash together. I pressed my body up against his. He doesn't know the effect he has on _me_. His hands roam along my back and hips, then one runs along my side till it reaches my breast, even through my sweater, tank and bra, my skin still felt on fire as he traced with his fingers around the side and bottom before finally cupping his hand around me. There's suddenly to many layers of clothes between us, it seems as if we both reach this conclusion at the same time. He pulls my sweater over my hand and I pull his shirt off. My eyes drink him in as he runs his hand over my silk tank top and leans down and kisses my neck. When his kisses start trailing down, he slips both my tank top strap and my bra strap over my shoulder, his hand gently reaches down and move the bra to expose me. I feel his thumb grazing over my nipple. My fingers rake through his hair as he rolls the tip gently between two fingers. When he leans down and licks my nipple before he covers it with a kiss I let out a moan and close my eyes. My hand practically can't help but travel down his body to the spot bulging in his pants. I add a bit of pressure and rub it. Screw taking it slow. Oh God! When he gently bites my nipple, I want all of mine and his clothes off. Now! I start unbuttoning his pants and push them down. Tight navy briefs never looked so good. He kisses my mouth again and his hand trails down the silk to the waist of my pants, he runs his finger along the outside of the pants before finally undoing the button. When my pants are discarded he pulls away, panting somewhat, "We should go to my room." He gives me a long kiss and then pulls us to standing, his hands run down my back and cup under my ass. Sensing what he wants I let him hold me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He starts walking down a hall, I'm not paying attention, my mind is busy kissing him and with the fact that there are only two thin pieces of fabric stopping us from having sex, two too many. As he pushes open a door, I start rubbing myself on him, causing him to swear and he sets me on the bed. He removes his briefs…Oh my. I fumble with my tank top and he helps me slip it off, his hands move slowly and sensually. He unhooks my bra and slides it off. He surprises me by next pulling the hair tie from the bottom of my braid, then runs his fingers through my hair and buries his face in my long dark hair. His erection is pulsating against me, I reach down and start at tip, circling it with my thumb and finger, then run all the way down his shaft, before wrapping the rest of my hand around him. He is stalled for a moment, eyes closed, his forehead pressed against mine. Then he reaches for his nightstand and fumbles with a box for a second before pulling out a condom, I take it from him and ripe it open with my teeth, then I place it on his tip and slowly with slight pressure circle it around him, when I reach the bottom, I run my hand back up and down him once more. His eyes are wide as he stares at me.

"Oh God, Katniss," He groans.

"Oh God, Pete," I gasp as his hand slips under my panties and he strokes one finger along me, sending shivers throughout my body. He easily pulls off my panties, pulling it slowly all the way down my leg. He somehow makes removing clothes into it's own foreplay, amazing. He runs his hand all the way up my leg, I close my eyes as he nears my ass, I feel him position himself at my entrance, he cups my ass with both hands holding me up and he slowly presses into me. I feel my breathing catch and I have to remind my self to exhale then inhale again. I open my eyes and look into his. Our eyes stayed locked as he pulls part way out then pushes in farther, harder, Oh Yes! He sends a hand all the way up my torso and around my neck and brings his lips to mine. He takes complete control of me, thrusting into me, finding the spot that sends me over the edge. He slowly pulses on the spot riding out my orgasm. Feeling practically dizzy as I meet his gaze. His eyes are a darker shade of blue as he holds me intensely with his eyes and arms.

"Hold me tight," He breaths. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders and neck. He starts pounding into me and I quickly find his rhythm. I feel his body jerk and I slowly flex my lower back pull my self towards him then dropping away, riding out his orgasm like he did mine. He finally collapses on top of me, taking a few deep breaths, then rolls off. He holds me for a few minutes.

"Will you stay tonight?" He strokes my arm slowly.

I nod.

"Will you sing for me?"

I laugh and shook my head no.

"Then lets get dinner," He gives me a long kiss then stands up and pulls some of his clothes on, I'm thankful he remains shirtless.

He digs through his draw for a while before pulling out a top and a pair of draw string shorts, he hands them to me, "These should fit you."

I feel like a clown in over sized clothing but Pete says I look "sexy", he kisses my neck as he says it.

"You can come with me to get my brother if you want."

I shake my head no. I was not going to meet his family.

I can tell he wishes a was coming, but he doesn't press the matter.

After we eat and he makes sure the fire is out we both curl up in his bed. He pulls me down to rest my head on his chest and wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes and fall in to an easy sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning it takes a while to uncover my car from the snow. Pete insists on following me home, just in case I run into trouble on the roads. It snowed quite a bit last night, but the roads were all plowed.

I parked my car and turned and saw Pete's jeep, I gave him a smile and I waved. I also see Gale's car parking, so I quickly turned to head inside.

A feeling of idleness over comes me, I smoke a joint and take a long shower, remembering last night. I lean against the wall, letting the warm water run off me. That was by far the best sex I ever had.

The day slowly slips by, I make several unsuccessful attempts to not think about Pete.

Jo calls around five, she's back in town and wants to party. Her and Finn show up around 7. Shortly after Finn gets a text, "Gale's done at work. Should I tell him to come over?"

I shrug, "Sure."

The four of us party together for a few hours, Jo leaves around midnight. I go out for a cigarette. I hear the door open and close behind me. Gale steps out next to me.

"I was worried about you."

"You shouldn't."

"I can't help it," He takes a breath, "I saw you this morning. You smiled and waved… and for a second, I thought that you were smiling and waving at me."

I don't say anything, I don't know what he wants me to say. After a while I silence I flick my cigarette butt into the ashtray and head in.

The rest of the night has an awkward feel to it, that joints and shots won't cover.

Pete asks me out for the upcoming Friday night. I feel giddy and say yes. I hang up and know I shouldn't get so giddy over such a small thing as a date. The first week in school brings back my habits of drinking hard at night and using coke to make me get up and go to class or study. When Friday rolls around I start fussing with myself, what to wear, should I do something with my hair? How can I hide the bags under my eyes? Pete made it pretty obvious he liked my hair down, so at least I know how I'm going to wear my hair. I decide on a pair of tight jeans and a cashmere cowl neck white sweater. I toss my grey ankle boots towards the door. I brush my hair out, it lays flat down my back. The only makeup I have is eyeliner and chapstick. I draw a thin black line around my eyes. I still have an hour before Pete comes to pick me up.

My phone buzzes, it's a text from Jo.

Hey, at Gales now. Can we come up?

Yeah, for a while. I'll be leaving in an hour though.

Less than five minutes later there's a knock at my door. I let Jo, Gale and Finn in and get them a drink.

We sit and pass a joint around, I stand up to reach over to hand it to Finn. Jo, who's sitting next to me on the couch, suddenly slaps my ass.

"Your ass is positively slap-able in those jeans. Who are you trying to impress? Cause I don't think it's us."

"I actually have a date."

"Oooo, let's hear the details."

"I think we're going to the ice-rink, then grabbing a drink afterwards."

"Not about the date tonight, brainless. Let's hear about this hunk you're leaving us for. What's his name, where did you meet him, what's the size of his dick, etc."

I roll my eyes, "I met Pete in September, then I ran into him again at the library a few days ago. He's getting his B.S. in Physics here."

"Physics," Jo says with disbelief, "He is actually intentionally taking classes about Physics." She just shakes her head as if she simply can not wrap that thought around her head.

"Well you clean up nice, Kat," Finn says, raising his drink to me.

After a while of sitting around, I stand up to air out the room, I open the door and turn the fan on.

"Hiding something from your date?" Gale asks.

"Not hiding, just don't really want to bandy my illicit drug use about."

"So, he's coming here?" Jo asks. I nod.

As the hour draws nearer I tell them it's time to clear out.

"Oh, we're not leaving. I want to meet this amazing Pete," Jo tells me and settles into her seat on the couch. She gives me a smirk, challenging me to do something.

"Fine."

I go and brush my teeth. I feel nervous having Pete meet these guys, what if he finds out about my drugs, he'd probably leave, future doctors don't want to date a alcoholic drug addict.

I step back into the living room.

"You are so cute when you're nervous," Jo teases.

"Shut up," I say right as there's a knock on the door and I freeze.

"Do you want me to get it?" Finn asks

"Stop making fun of me."

I open the door, he's standing there, holding a large assorted bouquet of flowers arranged beautifully in a dark red ceramic vase.

My mouth I'm sure drops open, "They're beautiful. Thank you."

He leans in and gives me kiss that brings back the kisses from last weekend...Making my mind fuzz out everything apart from Pete. He pulls away, "I brought some food too, in case your hungry."

"Starving," Jo calls from the living room.

"They wouldn't leave until they met you," I say byway of explaining, I had forgotten they were there and I feel myself turning red from embarrassment. Pete just smiles at me and walks past.

"Hi, you're a little too cute to be studying Physics aren't you?" I hear Jo ask.

I cover my face with my hand, I shouldn't have had them come here.

Pete just laughs, "Hi. Pete Mellark."

"Jo Mason," Hm, I don't think I even knew her last name. Then she called to me, "Stop hiding in the hallway! We won't scare him away."

I walk into the room and set my flowers on the table and send Jo a scowl, "You're terrible", I grumble.

"Hi, I'm Finn," Finn stands up to shake his hand, "This is Gale".

Gale nods hello.

"So what about this food you mentioned?" Jo asks eyeing the bag in his hand.

"OK. You've met him. Good night," I step towards them.

Pete laughs, "It's just pasta and salad, we could make it stretch for five."

He turns and starts getting plates down, I'm sure everyone noticed how he already knew his way around my kitchen. I chance a look at Jo.

"Hot!" She mouths. I smirk and go to help Pete.

"I think they're nice. Relax," He says to me and places a hand on my arm, "Do you really think I'm going to be scared off?"

I laugh and shake my head.

We all sit around my coffee table, since I only have four chairs for my dinning table.

"So," Jo says and looks from him to me, "Kat was saying you guys had met a few months ago."

"Yes, did she tell you the story?" Pete asks.

"Oh, there's a story?" Finn leans forward, "I think we just got the brief summary earlier."

I put my face in my hands again. He's going to tell it, he's really going to tell his version of the story.

"Well, I was out at Mounds Spring Park with some of my friends, we were just getting ready to kick the soccer ball around, and I heard the most beautiful voice. I couldn't _not_ try to find her." At this point I want to get up and leave the table, before I can stand even halfway, Jo pushes me back down and Pete takes one of my hands. "I went to find her suddenly she was right there in front of me. I think she thought I was a little crazy." He squeezes my hand, "I couldn't stop staring at her."

"Your mouth was open," I add. This causes a laugh from everyone except Gale. I suddenly felt terrible for him, but it wasn't my fault, he can be mad at Jo for making him stay to meet him.

"I probably wouldn't have moved until she gone, but thankfully my brother kicked a soccer ball at her, then convinced her to play with us for a while. But she got away from me that day, without giving me her number," He gives me a small wink, "I went back to the park a few times before school started but couldn't find her. Then in the middle of a blizzard right before break I saw her standing outside the library, stranded-"

"I was not stranded, and it wasn't a blizzard," I interrupted, "I live four blocks away."

Jo hit my arm, "Shh, it's more romantic, brainless."

"Stranded," Pete finishes, "So, naturally I rescued her. She told me she wasn't celebrating Thanksgiving, that she'd be alone." A deep shame set over me, yeah, lets talk about how I have no one. "I finally got her to give me her number. On Thanksgiving Day I packed up some of our leftovers and started driving back early. I called her and convinced her to have a Thanksgiving dinner with me."

"Why doesn't that happen to me?" Jo scoffs, then looks at me, "What are you doing singing in the forest and getting caught in blizzards?"

"Yeah, I didn't even knew you could sing," Finn added.

"Anyone can sing," I mumble.

"Do you sing often?" Finn asks, "Or just when you feel a handsome Prince is near?"

"Yeah," Jo says with wink at Pete, "It's only missing some fairies and a dragon to be Disney worthy, you make a fine Prince Charming… So, what were you singing that captured this Prince's heart?"

I shrug, I remember but I don't want to add to their conversation/fantasy.

"Blowin in the Wind." Pete tells them when it's obvious I'm not answering.

"My Dad and I used to sing it when we were hiking," I dig my finger nail into the side of the coffee table.

"Can you sing now?" Finn asks and I glare in his direction.

"Believe me, I've tried," Pete laughs.

It wasn't until Pete and I were leaving that Jo, Finn and Gale finally left. I don't think Gale said more than 2 words together the whole time. No one asked him to stay, he could've left.

"Sorry about them."

"They seem nice, I was glad to meet them."

He's too nice.

"Jo can be very…" I stop to try to think of a word.

"Unreserved," He said, volunteering a word.

I laughed, "Yes, very."

He opens my car door for me, after I sit down he leans over and gives me a long kiss. I feel myself melting into him as he runs his fingers into my hair.

"Just take her back upstairs, Romeo!" Jo calls. We both break apart and see Jo, Finn and Gale walking towards Finn's car.

"We're going to a party if you want to join," Finn calls.

"I think they want their own party time," Jo laughs. Gale turns away, after sending a death stare our way.

"I'm never talking to them again," I vow.

As we're driving to the ice-rink Pete brings up Gale, "I don't think Gale likes me too much."

I scoff, "I wouldn't worry about it."

"Ex-boyfriend?" He asks.

"No," I say quickly, then sigh, "I dunno, I guess he likes me. He kept trying to get me to come to his parents for Thanksgiving…but just won't take the hint."

"Well, sympathize with him over that."

"I never liked him like that though, he's just stubborn. He'll get over it. I know Jo wants to help him out there," I say with a laugh.

We have fun at the ice-rink, this time of night it's mostly couples. I hadn't been on skates since I was younger, so it took some getting used to. We see a couple twirling around each other and skating like it's the Olympics and the hot dog vender was a judge, one time the guy throws the girl in the air and she lands gracefully.

"Want to try it?" Pete jokes.

We skip the drinks and go to his house for some hot chocolate. We're sitting on the couch, my head resting on his shoulder and his hand stroking my hair, when the garage door lock clicks.

"Oh, here we go. I'm sorry in advance," Pete says quickly.

I bundled up version of Mark walks in the door. He seems taken back by me at first.

"Well, if it isn't the little song bird from the park," He grins at me. He looks at me for a moment, prompting me to feel like I need to say something, "Hi, Mark."

For some reason this makes him grin even wider, "Hi to you too… I didn't believe him when he said he met you again… and he rescued you from the blizzard." I elbow him and he kissed me cheek.

"Well, I'll have to call Charlie. We both thought that he made it all up, just an excuse take double the more leftovers… I never would have thought he'd have the nerve or the guts to call you. Do you know how many times he went back to Mounds Springs in hopes of seeing you again, or hearing your golden voice?"

"That's enough, Mark," Pete said rubbing his forehead.

"So, wedding plans," Mark starts talking again and my heart stops, "I know you're probably busy with school and everything, Mom is perfectly happy to take over the planning for you, I'm sure she can have quite the shin-dig put together for when you come for Christmas… I'm sure with such love you wouldn't want to wait too long. I'll be moving out this coming summer, you can turn my room into the nursery."

"OK," Pete says standing up, "How about we leave my crazy brother and have a smoke."

"Surely she knows that you want to marry her."

As we walk past Mark, Pete throws a hard punch to his shoulder.

Sitting outside, Pete apologizes again. I'm sure my silence is making him nervous, but I can't stop my head from spinning. I know that Mark was just teasing with talk of love, marriage and kids, but… It still scares me.

I feel his hands holding my face, making me look into his eyes. "Katniss. He was just teasing."

"Families scare me," I say quietly and look down.

I can tell that he's confused at my statement, it confuses me too. I try to explain it to him, "You can be so close to them and then they're just gone. It doesn't matter who you are or anything, they're just _gone_."

He wraps his arms around me tightly, I feel tears forming. Damn it, it's been years since I cried in front of someone. I will not cry in front of Pete, especially just because his brother likes to joke around. Instead I try to focus on Pete's breath on my neck. After a moment I pull away and face him and give him a long kiss, which he reciprocates quickly. As things get heated we head towards his room, I'm extremely thankful that his brother isn't in the living room. He locks his bedroom door and pulls me down with him to the bed. When Pete kisses me I forget about everything, including my distaste for relationships.


	7. Chapter 7

As we lay tangled up in the sheets, his arms wrapped tightly around me, our naked bodies still slick with sweat, he buries his face in my hair.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He murmurs.

The pleasant feeling his breath on my neck is taken away by his question.

I stutter, "I-I wouldn't be a good girlfriend, Pete."

"What do you mean?" He turns me to face him.

"I'm no good with relationships. I've never had a boyfriend, I don't even really have friends. I just can't do it."

He looks at me for a moment, then laughs, I feel offended and pull away. He pulls me in closer.

"You would be the perfect girlfriend for me, Katniss," He says into my ear, "I just want to be with you."

"I don't know how to be a girlfriend." I know it sounds stupid. How can someone my age not know how to be a girlfriend.

"You just need to be with me. Spend time together. Let me call you my girlfriend," He starts nuzzling my ear.

I feel my resolve dissolving, spending time with Pete was definitely something I could do. Could I be a girlfriend? I need him, "I can't get married to anyone." Shit I didn't mean to blurt that out. He pulls back and looks at me, I see him thinking, his brow is even furrowed, I've never seen him like that before. Why did I blurt that out? He didn't ask me to marry him?! Oh God, he's not saying anything.

"I'm sorry," I say, I hide my face in the pillow. I wish I had my clothes on.

"Mark was just joking," He starts. Duh, does he think I'm stupid.

"I know… But you should find a girlfriend who will want to get married and have a, family." My voice catches on the end.

"Katniss," Pete sighs, "I want to be your boyfriend. We take things one step at a time, we just started dating."

I sigh, honesty Katniss, be honest, "But the way you talk about us. It makes it sound like it was like, love at first sight… I don't want to be in love."

"No. You don't want to lose someone you love, again… It was love at first sight for me."

He says that last part so simply, how can he say something like that.

"But that's just me, I'm not saying it has to be the same for you. I just know that I want to be with you." He resumes nuzzling my ear and upper neck, then starts running his tongue along my ear, "Be my girlfriend, please." His hand slides up my torso and circles my chest and he takes my ear lobe in his mouth.

I let out a moan, "You're not being fair. Clouding my judgment."

He presses his body to mine. He's getting hard again. I want him in me. I want him in me!

I throw what ever reasons I have for not wanting a relationship out the window, I start nodding and I practically feel myself begging, I want to be with him. He put his tip right at entrance, he gives a sharp inhale then brings his eyes to mine. He's waiting he wants me to say it.

"Yes, yes."

"Yes what, Katniss. What do you want?"

"I want you to be my boyfriend," I practically pant out, just as I realize how nice that sounds to say, he presses all the in me.

"Oh Pete," I moan. I love what he does to me, how he makes me feel.

After we are both spent, me twice, I lay in his strong arms my hair is a tangled sweaty mess. I feel my body at complete ease and I fall asleep.

When I wake up it's to the sun in my face. I try to burry my head in the pillow.

"Good morning," Pete whispers to me, moving my hair so he can kiss the back of my neck. I feel him naked behind me.

"It's too bright to be morning, let's go back to sleep." I roll over and lay my head by his neck. His fingers graze from the middle of my back all the way, then start back down again, traveling lower and lower. Effectively waking up for the day.

An hour later, Pete pulls me out of bed and I dress in the clothes I wore yesterday, then start to untangle my hair using my fingers and the dinky little comb that Pete offers me. When he opens his door I can hear Mark watching TV in the living room. I stop. Pete takes my hand, "Mark is actually very nice, despite what a jerk he was last night. He was just trying to embarrass me, it's what brothers do."

I still don't move.

"Don't be such a scaredy cat," He jokes when he sees me still hesitating, "I want to make my girlfriend some breakfast."

Despite myself and my fear of relationships, I smile when he calls me his girlfriend.

Mark is sitting on the couch eating a bowl of what looks like cheerios, his feet are propped up on their coffee table and ESPN news is captivating his attention until we walk in the room.

"Good morning, Katniss, Pete," He nods in our direction, giving Pete a smirk and a wink.

I follow Pete into the kitchen and lean against the counter. He opens the fridge, "We have stuff for an omelet, does that sound good?"

I nod.

"So, Katniss," Mark says coming up and setting his bowl in the sink, "Can I expect you often for breakfast?"

"Leave her alone, Mark," Pete says starting to crack the eggs open.

"Just teasing," Mark tells him, he turns to me, "We'll have to have another soccer game, I know Kev is aching for a re-match, saying the teams were unfair. I'm on a rec team for indoor, you should join. We have a lot of fun, there's a few other teams we know and go out drinking with them the night before, then see who can win hung over… Maybe you can talk Pete into playing too, he always says he's too busy during the school year."

"I don't have time; some of us don't want to have to take an extra year in order to graduate."

"I decided to have some fun and meet some people instead of holing myself up in a classroom studying matter." Mark turns his attention back to me, "My fiancée, Kate is on the team too, along with a few other girls, so you wouldn't be out numbered."

"I'll think about it," I say, and I really think that I might _think_ about it, "But I have a full course load too, like my boyfriend, I'd like to graduate by my fourth year."

At the stove, Pete looks over his shoulder and gives me a big grin. I'm sure happy that I both, told his brother we were boyfriend girlfriend, and that I took a jab at his brother."

"Well," Mark says thinking for a bit, "I'm glad Pete finally has something besides school work to keep him occupied. We were all worried."

I can practically see Pete rolling his eyes even though his back is to us.

"Well, I'll do my best to remind him that matter isn't the _only_ thing that matters," I say with a smile. To this my Dad would have said, "That's very punny."

It gets a laugh from Mark, then he says, "I'm heading out. Katniss it was lovely to see you again." He walks up to Pete and tells him something quietly, then punches him playfully on the arm.

We eat our breakfast of omelets with cheese, ham, and mushrooms. Pete offers my coffee which I gladly accept, I prefer my caffeine to come in Red Bull form, but coffee will certainly work.

"I should be getting home, I have a test that I need to study for… Plus, I really want to take a shower and change clothes."

Pete smiles at me, "Yeah, I need to attack the library today. I have this beast of a paper due in two weeks."

The drive back to my place is short, too short.

"Do you want to go out later?" He asks.

I nod, "Give me a call later."

"You can count on it," He says and pulls me in for a long kiss. God! How can he turn me on so much with just a kiss! It's just not fair.

I open my door and walk in, it's then that I realize I'm still smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

After a long shower and some day-dreaming, I try to focus my mind on my text books, they are interesting, but the way Pete makes me feel when he touches me is much _much_ more interesting. I finally have to resort to my old tactics. I take my altoids tin out from it's current hiding spot, under my bathroom sink, and scoop out a pile onto the counter. I draw up a several lines from the pile, I take two of them and leave the rest for later. I play a game with myself, after each chapter I try to write down 10 key points of the chapter correctly from memory, if I can do it, then I'd get to take another line, if I couldn't then I'd cheat and look in my notes or in the book and then take a line. After two hours of reading and rewriting my notes I go out for a smoke. Of course Gale is out there too… I swear, it seems like he just sits out there waiting for me. Maybe this is a sign for me to give up smoking?

"Hey," He calls.

I look down in his direction, "Hey." I keep smoking.

"Sorry I was an ass last night."

I shrug, it really doesn't have any effect on me.

"Can I come up?"

"I'm studying."

"Take a break. I just want to talk to you."

I roll my eyes, "Fine, just for a moment."

I stay outside smoking until he knocks on the door. I go and open it then walk back out.

"Finn gave me some Adderall if you want it?" He says following me into the living room, taking in the sight of my books piled around. Yep, sure do, I took some during Finals last year and that's was a big reason why I was able to maintain a 3.9 GPA. It worked better than coke for studying and cramming, but I like coke a lot more. Coke makes things seem fun (even studying or cleaning).

"How much?"

"Don't worry about it, only have a few pills and I don't like or need it."

I look at him. What is he doing?

"Look, I'm sorry. This is just a peace offering."

"Thanks," I say and take the pills from his hand.

He's quiet for a moment then asks, "I should've stayed with you for Thanksgiving."

I scoff, does he really think that it would have made a difference? Like I was sitting around and thought to myself, "The next guy I see I'll go on a date with."

"No. You shouldn't have, Gale. It wouldn't have mattered."

"If I had been as persistent as Pete," Gale jaw tightens, "Perfect Pete was all Jo could talk about… He's probably just re-bounding from his sorority girlfriend. He's not your type, he'll wind up hurting you."

"What do you mean he's not my type? You don't know my type," I ask starting to get upset, "I don't know why you think you know me so well, you don't."

"He wants to be married to a blonde Stepford wife, with no ambitions other than to pop out a few kids. You don't want to be part of that world, you're better than that."

"Stop talking like you know me. All you know about me is that I drink and do drugs, and that is all that you and I have in common with each other. Move on for Christ sake, Gale."

"I do know you, Katniss," He stood up and paced the room, "I can't help but watch you. You have this effect on me, ever since we first met." He pauses then spits out, "I might not have heard you singing and fallen in love with you in some romantic setting, but I've known there was something about you."

"Shut up!" I find myself screaming, Gale looks taken aback and stops his pacing.

"I don't want to do this with you. What do you really know about me?! At most you know my name and how I take my whiskey."

"I know how you make me feel, and I know that you're too scared to let yourself care about someone. I thought you were too smart to fall for some chump like Pete," Gale spits Pete's name out like it's poison.

"Pete makes me happier than I have been in a long time. I don't need you hanging in the background with your death glares. Stop trying to convince me that we have some deep connection, it's ridiculous. I'm not interested in you."

His face grows colder, "Just because I can't afford to buy you nice flowers and gifts and I don't have a rich Daddy paying my way through school to get a fancy degree. I worked hard all my life and he just has everything served to him. That's the type of guy you want? Some spoiled brat who will probably cheat on you. I've known you for longer than he has… And he comes and takes you from me! I never would have figured you'd go out with a guy just for money. Maybe I don't know you."

"You don't know me. Leave Gale."

He stops and looks hurt, "Do you know why I broke up with Delly? Why I stayed in that shitty studio apartment surrounded by rich college students who think they're better than me? I could have gotten a bigger place closer to my work, but I stayed here because of you. Because I wanted to be here for you if you ever needed me."

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, "I never encouraged you to do any of those things. In fact I thought I was being pretty obvious that I wasn't interested in you"

"Can't you just give me a chance?" He asked, a plea in his eyes.

I shook my head, "No, even if Pete and I weren't exclusive now, I wouldn't."

"You're exclusive now? It's been a week! God, how can you be so stupid? He's obviously using you. Just some sort of prize to show off to his friends, then he'll dump you for some bimbo."

"Leave, Gale…. You can take your "peace offering" with you."

"Keep it, since that's all you'll take from _me_," He growls then spins on his heel and slams the door.

Thanks for ruining the day, ASS!


	9. Chapter 9

I downed a glass of whiskey to calm my nerves after Gale left. What right did he have to talk to me like that? None, he's not even my friend, just some neighbor who stops by to get drunk every now and again. Does he really think he fell in love with me over a bottle of Wild Turkey? One thought that keeps running through my head, "Why does Pete want to be with me?" When I'm with him it seems so simple, the smiles he gives me and the way he looks in my eyes. He told me that it was "love at first sight" with me... But how? I feel a fluttering in my stomach just thinking about it, but it doesn't make sense. I'm a fuck up, I don't deserve someone like him. He deserves someone who doesn't need drugs and alcohol to get through the day.

The day slowly trickled away, I wasn't able to return to studying after Gale's visit. He had left his "peace-offering" for me, I stowed the bag inside my altoids tin. I felt like I was trapped inside, I wanted to get out. I needed to get out. I can't be inside. I can't go on the balcony because I'll just want to throw my patio chairs through Gale's window.

I trudged through the snow, it was melting some from the sun that was shining, making it heavy and hard to walk through. I persisted and kept walking, mostly in large circles around the campus. I felt the numbing feeling of whiskey dissipating, the high from the lines I had done were long gone. I walked back home. As I was opening the door for the building Gale was getting ready to come out. I glared at him then pushed him out of my way, he hit the wall, either I pushed him harder than I thought I did or he was caught off guard. I don't care either way, I walk past and quickly climb the stairs up to my floor. I throw open my door and pour another drink.

When my phone starts buzzing I realize I'm still standing in my kitchen clutching my now empty glass.

It's Pete. Pete. Why does he want to be with me? I'm not good enough for him, he deserves someone who bakes cookies and knits, that's not me. I don't think I ever could be someone like that. I almost don't answer, but at the last minute press the button.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey, how's it going. I tried calling you earlier."

"I went for a walk. I couldn't stay inside any longer." I can tell my voice sounds hollow.

There's a pause before he asks, "Are you OK?"

How can I answer that? I don't know how to, so I don't.

"I'm all done at the library, I'll come over and we can hang out."

"OK," I say meekly.

I open the door when he knocks, he steps in and closes the door, then he wraps his arms around me and asks, "What's wrong."

I pull away from him and walk into the living room and sit on the couch, I pick my drink up off the table and take a swallow, and I set it down slowly. Still not looking at him, I ask quietly, "Why do you want to be with me?"

"What do you mean? What brought this on?"

"Gale came over… told me I was being stupid, that you had to be using me as a rebound or something. That you would want a "Stepford wife", not me… "

When he doesn't say anything right away I look up at him, he's fist is clenched tight along with his jaw. He looks at me, "Don't listen to him-"

"But you _are_ so much better than me… I'm just a mess."

"You are beautiful. I don't want anyone but you. I don't give a damn what Gale thinks, I don't know him well, but he seems like a total ass."

Pete takes my face in his hands and looks me in the eye, "I won't leave you. I care so much about you."

I feel my doubts ebbing away as I look into his beautiful blue eyes, nothing else can be real but this. He kisses me then holds me in a hug.

"Do you want me to beat him up?" Pete asks me, talking about Gale.

I give a little laugh then shake my head "No".

"If he says something or does something to upset you again, I will."

I nod, then lean back and pick up my drink.

"How many deep are you?" He asks.

"I dunno," I mumble.

"Did you start drinking after talking to Gale?"

I nod, then look away, he's realizing how weak I am.

"You can always call me. I want to be there for you. Don't sit here drinking by yourself."

"That's what I do, Pete. I sit here alone and let drugs and alcohol help me forget about everything."

"Do you feel better after doing that?" He asks. I expected him to show disdain for my substance habits, but he doesn't.

"Not after, just during… Want to know how I spent my Thanksgiving break before you came?"

He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, "If you want to tell me."

I do want to tell him, I want him to see what a fuck up I am.

"I barely know myself… I would keep drinking till I'd black out. I went through one and a half bottles of whiskey and half a bottle of tequila 6 grams of coke and I don't know how much weed… You got lucky to find me coherent when you called… I hate the holidays, it's just a reminder that my family's gone… You're the first person to actually care about me, all the people I spend time with, we just hang out to get fucked up. They don't even know my last name, or want to."

"I'm sorry for everything you've gone through. It's not fair. I do care about you, and I always will. I will always want to be with you and I want to be there for you… You don't need to use alcohol or coke to hide behind. You aren't alone anymore."

I'm surprised and relieved that my bad habits didn't scare him away.

We hold each other for a while. A few hours later he orders a pizza delivered and convinces me to eat some.

Over the next few weeks I successfully avoid Gale, I also don't answer Jo's texts or calls. Pete comes over just about every day, mostly we study together. Pete likes my den, which I had set up originally as my study space, but found I preferred to study in my living room, more space to spread everything out. Pete likes to have lots of coffee while studying, while taking cigarette breaks. I still rely on my coke to help me through exam study time, I don't plow through it like I used to, and I know Pete doesn't like the fact that I still use it, but he doesn't lecture. He does make me stop for meals. At night, and occasionally during the day, we take our minds off school completely with heart pounding, mind numbing sex. We prefer my place to his because it's quieter for when we're studying and has more privacy for when we're not studying.

The last week of school before the 5 week break was filled with the exams. On the last day of both of our exams, Pete asks me something that I know had been on his mind, he holds me hand and we make eye contact (I think he's figured out that I can't say no to him when looking into his eyes), "I want you with me over Christmas. I _need _you with me. I'm going home this Saturday, come with me."

Meet his parents… spend Christmas with a family… My heart starts pounding, I start to look away. He moves his hands to my face to hold my gaze, damn those blue eyes, I can't say no.

"I'm scared."

"Don't be, I'll be right there."

"I won't know how to act…" I've never stayed at someone's parents' house before, unless you count some sleep overs when I was little.

"Be you. My family is nice, they want to meet you… I think Charlie still thinks I made you up."

I laugh, then swallow and say, "OK."

He pulls me in for a hug then kisses me with such passion that we wind up naked on the living room floor.

That night, Pete and I are watching a Law and Order CI marathon. Pete had ordered Indian food to be delivered, when someone knocks on the door, he assumes it's them and opens it.

"Moved in have we?" I hear Jo say to him. She walks into the living room and sits down in the chair.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Would it matter if I did?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Probably not. We're going to a party in about an hour if you want to join. We were hanging out at Gale's, I had to get out of there, he's turned into a grump." Then she looks at me, "You should hear him talk about Perfect Pete here."

"I don't really want to."

"Perfect Pete?" Pete asks with a smile.

"My nickname, not his. I don't think you need to worry about him having a man-crush on you."

"It's not my fault," I say to Jo, "He was a total ass to me."

Jo laughs, "Yeah, he told me how you pushed him."

I roll my eyes and Pete chuckles.

"He was pretty pissed off about the whole thing. He still brings it up. He doesn't think you two are a good match. He got pissed at me when I told him that he wasn't even a match for you… and that's why I got kicked out. Finn's going to text me when they're leaving. You two should come to the party, it'll be wild. It'd be very entertaining to watch Gale pop a blood vessel, maybe you guys could make out in front of him."

"I'm too exhausted for a party tonight," I say, I just want to sit in Pete's arms and mindlessly watch TV.

She hangs out with us for a while, eats the indian food when it arrives, then leaves when she gets Finn's text she leaves, but not before asking, "Mind if I tell Gale I walked in on you to have hot sex?"

"Bye, Jo," I tell her and she laughs and walks out.

The next morning I know I have to brave the holiday crowds to go shopping, I am so nervous about meeting his family. If I look like a nice girl than maybe I can trick them into thinking that I am, and not just some problemed girl who will be the ruin of their son. The sales girl at JCrew was eager to help, I told her I was having the holidays with my boyfriend's family, she went right to work and started pulling serveral things to make different outfits. Once I got past her overly happy demeanor, she was helpful and I certainly felt like a prepped out nice girl when I left, I even managed to find a nice Christmas dress. It's been years since I had a Christmas dress. Just thinking about spending Christmas with a family makes me start panicking, but Pete's usually there to calm me down.

The night before I try to change my mind, but Pete won't hear it, we're going.


	10. Chapter 10

Mark is driving his car and we'll be in Pete's Jeep, but they made plans to leave together. We meet at their house. Mark gives me a wide smile, "We'll be singing Christmas carols tonight, I'll find you a nice solo. It's going to be a fun Christmas."

I've learned to talk Mark's "humor" in stride, "I'd hate to draw any attention off you, Mark."

He laughs, and gets into his dark blue Durango, "See you in a bit… Don't be nervous now. We aren't _too _scary."

The ride up to Rochester was nerve racking, Pete did his best to put me at ease, I couldn't stop worrying about what they would think of me, what would I be expected to do? Were we really staying for 9 nights? What would we do while we were there? I was going to be completely clean, no alcohol, no drugs. I don't think that I'll have a problem with it, I'll miss the coke especially, but I know that a break is good. Plus, the thought of his parents or brothers finding out terrifies me. His Dad is a doctor, I'm scared of fooling him into thinking I'm not a drug addicted drunk, it'd be a lot harder if I was on drugs and drunk. Sigh, I can do this. I _can _do this. Pete already told me that his parents wouldn't let us sleep in the same room, "They're a little old fashion," he explained, "Even when Mark's fiancée visits she has to sleep in the guest room."

As the road signs let us know we're getting closer I start to panic more and more. Pete squeezes my hand "Relax."

We drive through Rochester to the outskirts of the south side of town. A large circle drive takes us up to a large farmhouse sitting in a large tree covered lot.

I can't move. I don't want to move. Why did I come? Why did I come? They aren't going to like me. I'm almost shaking, Pete lays a hand on my arm then moves that hand to my cheek, cupping my face and making me look at him, into his eyes.

"I shouldn't have come," I tell him.

"We'll have fun here I promise. Tonight we're making cookies, then we'll break out a puzzle and eat as many cookies as we want. Do you have a favorite?"

I shrug, "It's been a while since I made Christmas cookies. I guess I remember liking the peanut butter with the kiss in the middle, Prim loved the sugar cookies."

"My favorite are these molasses cookies with butter cream icing. Come on, lets go and get ready to make cookies."

"And meet your parents," I said with a shaky laugh.

"That too," he says with a smile.

Mark's car is already parked and vacant, he had been going a bit faster than us.

Walking in the side door, Pete called, "Hello!"

"They're here," I hear someone else say from down the hall. We walk down the hall and are met by a women who had to be his Mother. I willed myself not to start shaking.

She give's Pete a hug than looks at me, "You must be Katniss. I'm Grace Mellark." She then gives me a hug, just a quick one, before I even had a chance to grasp the fact that I was being hugged she released and gave me a smile, "So happy you decided to join us for the holidays."

My tongue finally starts working, allowing me to say, "Thank you for having me, it's very nice of you."

"Of course, of course. Come in, Mark just got here a few minutes ago, he's up in his room. Charlie's flight gets in at 5 tonight," She checks her watch, "That's in an hour, Dad's picking him up, he should be around here somewhere. Sam!" His Mom called out, "Pete and Katniss are here."

When she doesn't hear an answer she starts to walk off looking for him, she stops to say, "He must be upstairs, I think he wanted to shower before he picked Charlie up. Show Katniss the guest room, Pete."

"Come on, I'll give you the tour. First stop is the kitchen, center of the house." Their kitchen looks fully stocked with an extra wide range and a double stove, even though everything was clean and in it's place you could tell that this really was the favorite spot in the house. "Through there is the dinning room, here's the breakfast table where we all really eat. Sun room, stairs to the basement, and here is what we call the Christmas room during the holidays." It was a large room with a curved wall of windows, in the middle of the windows was their huge Christmas tree, fully decorated and the base of the tree already littered with presents. The rest of the room was decked out with decorations, garland swooped around the crown molding, green and gold candles lined the fireplace mantle. A large card board table was sitting a little ways away from the fireplace. "That's the puzzle table. Just wait, you'll get sucked in. Every year we try to do at least 3 puzzles." He gives me a smile, then a kiss. "I'm glad you're here," He leaned his forehead to rest on mine.

"Show her the room already so you can put those bags down," His Mom says making me jump, she walks back towards the kitchen, "I'm going to the store, so write down what you kids'll need for the cookies."

"Come on," He tells me giving me a smile and a little tug on my braid.

He tossed his bag towards the "back stairs" as he calls them, and then leads me down a short hall right off the "Christmas room". A bright guest room was ready for me when Pete opened the door. Large windows and French doors that opened up to the wrap around porch let in lots of light. Pete set my bag up on the bed that had a red and green quilt covering it.

"Bathroom through there, I'll bet Mom put towels in the closet for you," He first points to one door and then walks over to open the closet door and walks in, "Yep, towels here, extra blankets too."

He steps out, I'm haven't moved much. His house is such a home, everything about it suggested that it had been lived in and loved. He takes a few steps towards me and takes hold of my hand.

"How about if I just hide out in here until we leave?"

Pete chuckles. Did he think I was joking?

"You wouldn't have any fun then… And I'd miss you."

"So join me."

He shakes his head and gives me a smile, "We'll have fun."

We look into each other's eyes for a moment before our lips met in sweet kiss. He pulls away, "I'll let you get settled in, I've got to get my stuff upstairs. Do you want to go on a walk in a bit?"

I nod. He leaves me alone and I get settled in quickly, his Mom thought of little details for her guests, ranging from a bathroom stocked with everything from shampoo and toothpaste, to a small bookshelf with an assorted selection of books and magazines. My clothes are put away in the walk-in closet that stores the plush green towels, some extra pillows and a soft blanket.

Pete comes in after giving a short knock, "Come on, let's grab something to eat before our walk."

I follow him out to the kitchen, he pours two glasses of milk and takes two muffins from a tray sitting on the island. He pulls out a barstool for me, and then sits in the one next to me.

He nudges me after taking a big bite, swallows then says, "Relax."

How many times is he going to say that? He's probably wondering how many times he'll _have_ to say it, just to remind me.

Easy for him to say, I don't think I've ever really seen him truly nervous.

He has his gobbled down before I'm half way done. Mark comes crashing down the back stairs while we're sitting there, "Hey, I'm going to go to Jeff's for a bit. Let me know when Charlie gets here." Then he shoots me a glance, "We'll, you've survived the first few minutes… You haven't met Dad yet have you?"

My jaw clenches, what did he mean? Is he joking again? I shake my head no.

"Oh, just wait then-"Mark starts.

"Stop your teasing, Mark," A voice comes from the hall seconds before a big man walked through. You could tell he was Pete's father, they had the same eyes, and even his smile is the same.

"Hi, Katniss, I'm Sam. It's good to meet you, Pete of course has been singing your praises," He says as he extends his hand to shake mine.

"Good choice of words, Dad," Mark quips, "Well, I'm heading out."

His Mom comes in, "Do you know what you need from the store? "She asks, "I'm going to get everything for the usual batches, anything different needed?"

"I think that'll be fine, Mom," Pete says.

"Katniss, make yourself at home, there's always something to eat around here."

"It goes fast when all three boys are home," His Dad says.

Pete takes our glasses to the sink, and then hold his hand out to me, "We're going to go for a walk."

I hop down and quickly take his hand. Holding his hand helps me feel grounded in my nervous state.

"Have a nice walk," His Mom calls after us.

We get bundled up, the sun is shining, but it's still cold. They have more snow here than us in Minneapolis, and it's all still pure white.

After we started walking through the trees, Pete asks, "Well, what do you think of my family? Not nearly as scary as you were thinking I'll bet."

I smile, "They're nice… It's such a nice home. You can tell there are lots of happy memories there."

He brushes his hand against my cheek, "It's going to be a happy Christmas this year."

"I'm glad I'll be with you."

He gives me a kiss before we continue walking, they have few acres, bordering their property is a large lake.

"If it stays cold while we're here, maybe we can go ice-skating. My brothers and I would pretend like we were hockey stars and stay out there all day. There used to be a family who lives on the other side, they'd join us. They moved a few years ago."

We walk a bit more, "It's a nice day for a song."

"Pete, I can't. There's too much hype and expectations around it now. It won't be like you remember."

"Please, I don't care what song. It can be my Christmas present."

"It's not Christmas yet."

"An early Christmas present, please."

"Fine. What do you want to hear?"

"A Christmas song?"

"I don't remember any."

"You can't forget some Christmas songs, how about Away In A Manger."

I take a few more steps then start singing, Prim used to play this song on the piano. I can feel Pete's eyes on me. I started singing the second verse before I even realized that I remembered it. When I stop, Pete turns me to look at him, "Thank you." Then he gives me a long kiss, he backs me up so I'm pressed up against a tree. I feel his tongue and open my mouth for him. I get lost in the feeling of his mouth on mine. Just as I'm wishing I could strip my coat off so I could feel his hands on my body, Pete suddenly breaks apart, "It's snowing."

I have to blink twice to get my mind back on the world around us; it is snowing, large graceful snowflakes. It looks beautiful, watching the white snowflakes against the dark trees that surround us.

"Thank you for singing, it was beautiful," He holds me with such an intense gaze I feel myself blush.


	11. Chapter 11

We walk around for a bit more, before Pete suggests heading inside to warm up, "We'll have the house to ourselves for a bit."

After shedding our coats and boots, he takes my hand, "Come on, I'll show you upstairs."

He leads me up the curved front stair, at the top along a wall were two paintings, portraits. I stop to look at them.

"Oh my parents decided to do a formal sitting every 10years; this one was when I was a year old." A little baby Pete, held by his Mom, a toddler that must be Mark was sitting on their Dad's lap, while another boy of about 5 years, stood in between his parents with an arm on his Dad's shoulder. That older boy had to be Charlie. "Then that's when I was 11." Mark and Charlie were standing on either side of their Dad, while Pete sat on the ground next to his Mom's chair. "The next one will be this summer."

"It's a nice idea."

He smiles and squeezes my hand, "That's my parents room," He points to a set of double doors down a short hall, "Charlie's room," pointed to a door close to us, then turns to walk around a corner, "That's Mark's room, game room," He points to a door up a few steps, then opens a door, "This is my room."

We step in; one wall is a soft orange color, while the rest are a cream color. A large desk takes up a corner, next to that is his bed. He moves over and sits down, he holds out his hand to me. As soon as I take his hand he pulls me towards him then flips me over so I'm on my back. His starts kissing me, his hands gliding around my body, making my body throb, I feel like I'm on fire. Our clothes are gone within a minute, and then he's thrusting into me. After, my body is tingling and we are both catching our breath, we don't lie in each other's arms long. I'm scared of his Mom or Dad coming home, we quickly get dressed and I re-do my braid.

Pete straights the bed up.

"Let's get see what cookies we can get started on," Pete says and holds his hand out for me. We go down to the kitchen, Pete gets a full box of butter out of the fridge first thing and takes the sticks out and lays them on the counter, "Let them get closer to room temp."

He pulls down a recipe box from a shelf and starts pulling cards out, "Sugar cookies, always a must. Snickerdoddles, oatmeal chocolate chip, peanut butter with the kiss." He gives me a wink, "And the molasses cookies."

He starts rifling through cabinets, "We can get started on the snickerdoddles first, and we already have enough of everything for those." He turns the oven on to pre-heat.

I felt like a complete novice while Pete zips around the kitchen, he asks me to measure flour and sugar while he cracks the eggs and beats them with the butter. When the batter complete he gets the "rolling station" set up. He sets two large plates on either side of a cookie tray, measures out some cinnamon and sugar and dumps it on the plates.

"Alright, grab a chunk and roll it into a ball, about golf ball size. Then roll it in the cinnamon sugar and put it on the sheet."

We find a rhythm and we soon have the sheet filled and it's put in the oven. He pulls out a new sheet and we load that one up and wait. The smell of cinnamon fills the air as the cookies get close to being finished.

We hear the garage door open, shortly after his Mom comes in laden down with grocery bags.

"There's more in the car," She tells us, Pete immediately goes to help carry stuff in, and I obediently follow. The back of his Mom's Mercedes Benz SUV is filled with her cream colored fabric grocery bags.

"That's a lot of food," I say to Pete, there's four gallons of milk sitting near the front, Four! I can't even finish a half gallon before it goes bad.

"She has to have enough for her growing boys," He tells me with a playful grin.

Several trips later the groceries are all inside. The cookie timer goes off and Pete asks me to pull them out while he and his Mom put things away.

"Looks good," She told me with a smile.

Pete puts the next sheet in and sets the timer.

"One more batch of these, then we can get started on the peanut butter cookies," He tells me.

"I was thinking we could just do pizza tonight, since the kitchen will be busy enough," His Mom says and Pete quickly agrees with her and asks, "From Mr. Pizza?"

Mr. Pizza?

"Sure, you can figure out what kinds to get, order it for delivery."

Shortly after they discussed this, Pete orders 4 pizzas. Four. For six people. How much do these people eat?

After we get the last of the snickerdoddle batter rolled and put on the cool cookie sheet, Pete starts putting things together for the peanut butter cookies. We're still in the process of mixing when the garage door slams open, "I smell cookies!"

Pete's Dad and another guy walk in, he looks more like his Mom, hazel eyes, fair skin and darker blonde hair. He looks at me and gives me a big smile, "It's Katniss!" He crosses the room and gives me a big hug, picking me up off the ground, he sets me down and laughs at my shell shocked face, "I'm Charlie, it's good to meet you."

"Nice to meet you," I say, giving him a small smile.

He claps Pete on the back, "She's just as pretty as you said. Oh! Snickerdoodles!" He grabs two off the cooling and rack shoves one in his mouth.

"Want to start unwrapping some kisses for us?" Pete asks, when Charlie nods Pete throws the bag of Hershey Kisses at him.

He sits at the bar dropping the unwrapped Kisses in a bowl. Charlie and Pete start talking Med School. Charlie went to Med School up in Chicago and was lucky enough to get a residency in a good hospital there. He's going to be a Pediatrician. Pete remembers to text Mark and he arrives home just as the pizza delivery guy shows up.

The kitchen is so busy. The oven continuously has a batch of cookies in it, the whole length of one of the counters is covered with cookies cooling. Pete and I sit at the bar with Charlie and Mark and his parents sit at the breakfast table, everyone is talking at the same time, telling different stories and laughing.

When the last batch is in the oven, we get started storing the dozens upon dozens of cookies that were cooled. Everything except for the sugar cookies that were waiting to be iced. His Dad goes to holds up a puzzle box, still in its original wrapping, "Got a new one, 6,000 pieces."

He goes to set it on the large cardboard table in the Christmas room.

Pete makes the icing, divides it between 5 bowls then adds food coloring to make red, green, yellow, blue and leaves one plain white.

Some of the icing gets left in the bowls, some of it gets put into icing pouches to pipe onto the cookies.

Pete and I sit with his brothers at the breakfast table and start decorating all the cookies. The cookies all start out intricately decorated, making snow man faces on the snow man shaped cookies, turning the simple round ones into Christmas ordainments or soccer balls (Mark's handiwork). Pete's are the prettiest, he pipes the icing on to the cookies with ease, turning the cookies into art. By the time we're done a lot of the ones are smeared with whatever color is left and maybe some sprinkles are thrown on.

Charlie puts an assortment of cookies on a large platter, looks up at the clock on the wall, "Puzzle starting at 9:30 pm."

"Are you calling it," Pete says with a laugh, I follow the boys into the Christmas room. The puzzle is unwrapped and the pieces carefully dumped onto the table.

Charlie had made a note on a scratch piece of paper the time they started.

"When we're done we write on the back of the box the date, how long it took us to complete, and everyone who helped," Charlie explains to me.

OK. They like puzzles.

"Just wait, you won't be able to leave the table," Pete says to me with a wink.

The three of them start dictating everything, "Boarder pieces on this corner." "Pieces of the houses over here." "I'll start taking the tree line."

There are so many pieces on the table, the picture on the box is an old fashion town on a snowy night. The snow covered ground took up the better part of the bottom of the picture.

"You can start flipping the pieces over, Kat. If you see something you want to work on, let us know and we'll keep an eye out for those pieces," Charlie tells me, "Or you can help Pete with the boarder. If you see any pieces with tree and sky on it put them in this pile."

Once my eyes get used to the jumble of pieces in front of me I start noticing the little differences. Their Dad came in for a bit, put a few pieces together then said "Good-night. Don't stay up too late."

"He knows you have to put two pieces together to get your name on the box, so he always swoops in for a minute so he can get credit," Mark tells me as their Dad walks away.

"You've hidden the last piece before so you can be the one to finish it," Charlie reminds him. Mark just laughs.

Every now and then I'd give my eyes a break and watch the three brothers, each one entirely focus on this jigsaw puzzle. They were lucky to have each other, and to get along so well together.

I finally get the carriage I was working on finished, the grandfather clock in the corner says its after one in the morning, "I'm going to bed."

Pete stops right away and stands up.

"No funny business now, Pete," Mark calls as Pete and I walk to the guest room.

He closes the door and gives me a smile.

"You have a nice family. It's fun to watch you and your brothers together."

"Thanks, they like you a lot."

He reaches up and rests his hand on my cheek, I lean into it and close my eyes. He stayed with me while I changed and crawled into bed, he gave me a long kiss then said good night.

I lay in bed for a while, my mind working through the events of the day. What startles me the most is that (besides the times when I was terrified that his family would realize how messed up I am) I actually enjoyed myself. They just accepted me into their holiday with such ease, letting me share their traditions. I'm still terrified of them, but maybe a little less so after having met them. Eight days left before going home, I can do it. Christmas day will be hard, I don't think there's a good chance of getting a drink, I should have brought some with me for emergencies… I guess I can go to the store to get some, I probably should do that, but I won't drink any unless I _really_ need to. It will make Christmas day easier, I'll go tomorrow.


	12. Chapter 12

The sound of laughing wakes me up. I open my eyes and freeze, where am I? Right, the Mellark's house. I exhale a long breath. Is Pete up already? I don't want to go out there and be alone with his family. Yeah, I know it's ridiculous. But I also don't want to over sleep, they'll think I'm some sort of sloth. I get up and take a quick shower. The towel that I wrap around me is cushy and smells so fresh (I feel like one of those people in commercials who get overly ecstatic over how laundry smells).

If I could have just a bump of coke it'd make it easier to go out there… I take a cleansing breath. I don't need coke.

I put on my dark jeans and a light gray long sleeved wrap top. I towel dry my hair some more before combing it out and braiding it. I stop before opening the door, trying to see if I can hear Pete or not. I can't tell. I take a deep breath and open the door, I can't stay in there all morning. I turn the corner into the Christmas room and see Pete hunched over the puzzle table with Charlie. Pete looks up at me and smiles, "Good morning."

"Morning," I say, "How long have you been up?"

"Just an hour or so, Charlie was already down here when I came down."

I move closer to the table, the boarder is finished and the pieces are somewhat organized into piles.

"Finished the tree line and part of the sky," Charlie says, I think he's talking to me but he hasn't looked up yet, "The sky isn't so bad because of the different shades of clouds. The snow will be tricky."

"Come on, lets get some breakfast, I haven't eaten yet."

There's a few random things set out on the counter, I'm assuming his Mom was up early, there's fresh pastries and fruit, then what looked like a quiche.

Pete automatically piles food up on two plates. Setting the plates next to each other at the table, he asks me, "There's juice, milk or coffee."

"Coffee," I say instantly. He smiles and pours two cups.

He sets my mug in front of me then gives my wet braid a little tug, "Sleep OK?"

I nod, "How late did you work on the puzzle?"

"I went to bed shortly after you."

"Good morning, Katniss," His Mom comes into the kitchen, "Hope you slept well."

"I did, thank you," I say.

She walks right over to the coffee pot with a mug she walked in with and poured herself another cup, "This is the last of it, I'll put another half pot on. Is Mark up yet?"

Pete shakes his head no.

"Aunt Polly is flying in at 10 with Susie and Mary, after they get settled in at the Inn we might bring the girls over to stay and while Polly and I go shopping." While she's saying this she's walking around gathering her phone, purse and keys. "I'm going to run a few errand then go and meet Aunt Polly. Dad had to run in to work for a bit, he said it was just a couple follow ups, so I'll bet he'll be home by noon. Don't let Charlie stay bent over like that for too long."

"OK," Pete tells her.

After she's gone I ask, "Who's Susie and Mary?"

"Aunt Polly's kids, they live in Texas. They come up here every year for a white Christmas. Her and Uncle Terry divorced a few years ago," He takes a bit of his cheese bun (which are delicious), "I feel so bad for the girls, splitting holidays between parents… They're a lot of fun. There's a good hill down the road, we can take them sledding there."

That did not sound like fun, it sounded like babysitting. The last time I was around kids I was a kid, I wasn't good around those kids so I won't be good with these kids…

"Can we go to the store in a bit?" I ask.

"Of course, what do you need?"

I look out the window for a second, thinking… I'll be honest with him, so I say quietly, "I was hoping to get something to drink."

He pauses for a moment, then he puts his hand over mind, "Why?" he asks.

I'm suddenly very aware that his brother is in the next room and Mark could come down at any moment, I don't want to go into this now.

"Do you want to step outside for a moment, have a smoke?" He asks. Sometimes it seems like he can read my mind.

I nod, then we get our things bundled on then step out onto the deck. Pete points to a bench that sits behind the garage facing away from the house. We both walk there and he brushes the snow off the seat.

We sit quietly for a moment, I know he's waiting.

"I don't think I can face Christmas day without it," I confess, "I'll remember too much about my family."

"It's good to remember them, Katniss."

"It hurts too much though." I'm weak and I need alcohol.

"Tell me some happy memories of the holidays. That's what they would want you to think about."

I stay quiet for a while, then I tell him about singing carols while we picked out a Christmas tree. My Mom teaching Prim the piano, so she could play the tune. How my Dad dressed up as Santa one year, I could tell it was him, but Prim was beyond excited and bragged to all of her friends that Santa spent an entire hour with her.

"My Dad started reading **A Christmas Carol** after Thanksgiving, we read from it every day until we finished it on Christmas Day, I'm sure he planned it. He was good at doing the voices. That was their last Christmas, they died two weeks later." My eyes are burning with unshed tears. I wanted so bad to talk to my Dad again, and my Mom and Prim, but especially my Dad. We had a special bond, I continue talking again, "My Mom used to say that my Dad and I were "two peas in a pond". I loved hearing that. I wanted to be like him when I grew up." I gave a scoff and dug my foot into the snow and think, "So much for that. I failed."

"You're beautiful and smart, I'm sure you can do anything you want to," He kisses my cheek.

Anything I want to, well lately all I've wanted to do is drug and be high… I've been able to do that.

We both stay quiet for a while, Pete suggests a small walk. So we get up and start meandering around their wooded area.

"If you want to get alcohol you can… I'd rather you didn't," He pauses, "I'll be here for you, and if you ever need anything even if it's just some time alone, just let me know."

I nod. Something about Pete makes me want to be better… He gives me the feeling like if he's by my side that's all I need. I love him. I love him?! My feet give a little stumble as I realize what I just thought. Pete catches my arm, "OK?"

"Y-yeah, just tripped," I say and regain my balance. My face beet red, I hope he attribites it to an embarrassement over tripping and not me thinking about my feelings for him.

He is still holding me and he turns to look in my eyes, "Do you want to get some?" Sex? Yes, please. Oh right, I was thinking about whiskey before my whole "I love him" thing.

I look into his eyes for a moment, I really really love him. He doesn't want me to rely on whiskey to get through the holiday, he said he'd be there for me… I shake my head no, I gave him a smile, a small one but a smile just the same, "I'll have you."

He cups my cheek and presses his forehead to mine, "Yes, you do."

Yes, I do… my mind feels like it's floating after my "epiphany" of my love for him. Though I've _liked_ being near him and with him since we met, now I feel drawn to him. Is this how he's felt about me all along? Jeez, how could I not feel this before. The more I think it the more my mind seems to settle into a calm, a grounding sense of calm.

"What are you thinking about?" Pete asks, breaking the silence. I blink twice then look at him, I gave a small smile and look away for a moment.

"It looked like it was something nice," He gives my hand a squeeze.

I look back up at him, "I was thinking about you." Then I rest my head on his shoulder. His arm goes around me and he gives me a kiss on the top of my head.


	13. Chapter 13

Susie and Mary turn out to be a little bratty, but I think that's typical for a 10 and 12 year old. Their Mom, "Aunt Polly" seems a little uppity and greets me with a false smile, "So happy to meet you," She says with a slight Texan twang. The way her forehead doesn't seem to move makes me think she's been friendly with Botox more than once. Her and Pete's Mom leave shortly after arriving to go shopping.

Pete makes sandwiches for everyone while the girls stare at me.

I give them a smile, "Did you have a nice flight?"

Susie shrugs, Mary states, "The stewardess was a bitch."

"Mary," Charles scolds.

"She was. Mom even said so," Mary tells us and puts her hands on her hips.

"It's not a nice thing to say," Charlie says, "Even if it's true or if someone else has said it."

"So you go to school with Pete," Susie asks me, and I nod.

"Mom says that your parents died and that's why you're here," Mary says to me with a face void of expression.

"Yep," I say slowly, there's quite a bit of tension in the air. Jeez, who'd think that the 12 year old cousin would be my biggest threat to my sanity and sobriety. I keep my voice steady and say, "Pete was nice enough to invite me."

I don't say another word while they eat their sandwiches.

"How about we go outside and play in the snow," Susie says, "I got a new snow suit."

It's agreed on and everyone starts to get ready. I'm tempted to hang back and stay inside, but I feel as if I should at least try to get along.

Pete and I start making a snow man with Susie and Mary and Mark start a snowball fight. Time does go by quickly, Susie is actually pretty sweet, you can tell that Pete is her favorite cousin. When it's been a little over an hour I decide to head in to rest.

I grab a glass of water and start to head towards the guest room, I take a small detour to look at the puzzle. I look around at the pieces and find two that fit together, then I start looking for others. Before I know it I'm sitting down hunched over the puzzle table. I don't even hear Pete come in or come up behind me until he touches my shoulder. I jump.

"Told you you'd get sucked in," Pete says and kisses my cheek. Mark and Charlie are taking the girls to go sledding, so it'll be quiet for a little while." He keeps his hand on my shoulder while he starts looking for pieces.

His Dad comes home after a little while and sits on a couch close to us and talks to Pete for a while, giving him the generalities of the surgeries he was following up on. Pete is able to focus on both his Dad and the puzzle, but I soon tune their conversation out while I look for the piece with the other half of a dog.

When Charlie and Mark get back with the girls they're all wiped out. Their Dad lights up a fire in the Christmas room and hot chocolate is served out to everyone. I watch the fire for a little while, it reminds me of Pete and mine's first kiss, I look over at him and give him a smile. The way he smiles back lets me know that he's remembering also.

When it gets to be supper time and there is still no sign of Grace or Aunt Polly returning, Dr. Mellark fumbles around in the kitchen and makes some pasta with tomato sauce from a jar. After we're all fed we return to the Christmas room and Mark puts **The Christmas Story** on for the girls while we work on the puzzle. It's well over halfway done, where the snowy ground should be is still fairly blank, no one has wanted to try to work with it yet.

The fact that the stores were closing must have been the only reason that Grace and Aunt Polly returned home. They called out to everyone not to peek before they carry their bags into the basement.

The girls are ready to leave and everyone says their good byes. They'll be coming over tomorrow afternoon, so that everyone can travel to the Mellark's church together. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. I can do this, I can do this.

We stay up late with the puzzle again. I try to work on the snow and am able to get some of it put together. I head to bed and Pete comes in with me. We have a short (too short) make out session. I want him near me, I need him near me. I wish we could share a bed while we're here, but his parents seemed pretty serious about keeping things "proper" at least under their roof.

The next morning is spent finishing the puzzle, as soon as Charlie places the last piece in (10:13 am), he calls out so everyone not in the room, sharing in his moment will know; The Last Piece Is In! He writes the total time on the back, and I feel a silly sense of pride as he write my name under Pete's on the box.

Charlie, Mark, Pete and I stare and the completed puzzle for a moment before the silence is broken by Mark, "Alright, next one?" He asks.

The box that's brought next has been done before, twice, looks like the first time it was done was 7 years ago and it took them a total of 42 hours and 20 minutes. The next time was a few years after that and it only took them 31 hours. There were _only _4500 pieces in this one, piece of cake.

Aunt Polly and the girls come, that's a signal that we have 30 minutes before we leave for church. I slip into my long sleeved gray A-line wool dress, the JCrew lady had suggested little accessories to add to it, a skinny red leather belt and a long silver necklace with a few green "gem" like beads. The lady insisted it would be perfect for Christmas church service, but I feel so self-conscious, I should just wear jeans and a nice sweater, that way people won't think that I'm trying too hard. No, Aunt Polly and the girls are all dressed nicely, I'd stand out more if I didn't wear this dress. But it clings so tightly to my body, I should have gone a size up. I sigh, "Too late now," I tell myself. I brush my hair out, I'm leaving it down.

I carry my black pumps out to the puzzle table, the boys are all glued to it again. Pete looks up when I enter, his eyes go wide and he immediately stands up to walk over. Mark lets out a whistle, "Lookin' good there, Kat."

Pete gives me a kiss on my cheek, the look in his eyes tells me that he wants to do more.

"You look amazing," He tells me quietly.

"Jeez, you'd think you'd never seen a girl in a dress before," I mutter so only he can hear. I know he's never seen _me_ in a dress before, but still... he's seen me naked, surely that would be sexier than a dress.

"Let's grab something to drink," He suggests. We walk into the kitchen, away from the crowd. He pulls me in close to give me a long kiss on the mouth, then he pulls back and looks at me. He watches as he sends his hands down my torso, when he reaches my hips he stops, "Wow, Katniss. Wow."

I blush furiously and stammer out, "It's just a dress."

He kisses the tip of my nose, "That you look gorgeous in."

"OK kids, time to load up," Grace comes down the stairs, "We can all fit in two cars, Mark, if either you or Pete can drive."

"Sure thing mom," Mark says good naturedly.

"You'll sit right next to me," Pete whispered in my ear when he saw the frightened look in my eye. I could just see myself getting stuck between Susie and Mary, I know I should quiver in fear at the thought of a 10 and 12 year old girl, but I can't help it.

Pete held my hand for the car ride, Susie was sitting on the other side of Pete. While Mark and Mary sat up front. She started singing _Jingle Bells _and Pete joined in with her. He gave my hand a slight squeeze, I think asking for me to join, but I couldn't. We parked in the crowded parking lot in front of their church.

Their church was lit up, the stained glass windows shone from the light inside. It was a beautiful church. Our group took up a whole pew, I ended up between Charlie and Pete. After the first few minutes I feel my heart rate slowing down, I start listening. It's been awhile since I've been to church, the Sunday before my parents death actually. Their pastor had a deep calm voice that could easily be heard throughout the room without needing a microphone. I relaxed listening to him read from Matthew. When it's time to sing _Joyful Joyful_, I don't hesitate when I stand and sing. Pete circles his arm around my waist and pulls me close.

The service goes quickly we sing a few more times before ending with _Silent Night_. For the drive back I actually sing with Susie and Pete.

His Mom had put a pot of soup on the stove to simmer while we were at church, she made a platter full of grilled cheese sandwiches to serve with the soup. Pete tells me that it's what they always have for Christmas Eve dinner, it's a tradition, while his Mom say it's just because it's the easiest supper to prepare.

"Can we open some presents now?" Mary and Susie start asking.

The Mellark's family has a tradition of opening presents Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. They'll open their stockings, that hold the gifts from "Santa". Then in the morning Grandma and Grandpa Mellark arrive with their presents.

With my family Christmas seemed a lot simpler, it was always just the four of us. Sometimes the older couple that lived next-door would join us, but that would be it. We always had plenty of presents but they were always just from our parents or Santa.

I can't help but feel uneasy at the upcoming gift giving, I had been with Pete when he got some of the presents and he told me that he'd put both of our names on the card, but I felt like I was out of place here… I look over and see the puzzle table, it got moved farther away from the tree to make room, would it be terribly rude if I just sat over there so I would have something to focus on, besides the fact that I'm not a proper member of the family. Pete squeezes my hand and it acts as a trigger, to remind me to relax.

Everyone starts talking and laughing with one another as the girls start handing out the gifts. I notice that his parents, Aunt Polly, Charlie and Mark all have glasses of wine. Me, Pete and the little girls are the only ones that have hot chocolate… Yeah, that's not a degrading feeling. The only ones under 21.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts of alcohol, by Mary ripping open her gift, and everyone else is opening up their own presents. The girls are holding up their gifts with a smile and calling out "Thank you," to the giver, before going for the next one. Mark gives a shout of joy and unwraps something, but before I can even process what it was, Pete's shouting out a "Thank You," to his Mom for a sweater. He gives me a smile and a nudge, "Open yours."

I don't understand how I didn't notice the pile at my feet, it was only a few presents, not a mound like Susie and Mary's, but I had presents. _I_ had Christmas presents. When did I last get a Christmas present? My freshmen year of high school we had Secret Santas between the Varsity and JV teams. I got a gift card to some restaurant that I had never heard of. Aside from that, the last time was the year after my parents died, my old neighbors sent me a large box of chocolates. I don't think that Uncle Snow celebrated Christmas, he was more the type that would be underground plotting with the mole-men to conquer the human race, instead of dressing up as Santa and handing out presents. Amelia would never buy me anything, though one year she did chide me for not giving presents out to her and Edison.

I do my best to cool my features so I don't look like I'm going to burst into tears. Then, I reach down and pick up a box, it said that it was from his parents. I wasn't expecting them to get me anything, they probably just didn't want me to feel awkward sitting here with nothing to open. I slowly open the paper and unwrap a sweater from JCrew, I look over and catch Grace's eye and thank her. I fold the sweater back up and set it off to my side. The girls are still tearing through their presents and shrieking with joy. I feel in a near daze as I unwrap a pair of dark brown leather gloves and a gift basket of Aveda hair and body products. When I unwrap a book titled "Ancient Civilizations" I open it right away and start flipping through the pages, this book is awesome. I can get lost in some of my text books for my Anthropology courses, but this is so much more interesting than a text book.

I look up and thank his parents.

"Glad you like it, I saw that and thought of you, Pete told us you were taking classes in Anthropology. There's a gift card tucked in the back," His mom said then turned as Mary was shrieking out a "Thank you, Aunt Grace!" As she held up two new computer games.

I noticed Pete picking up the present from me, I pretended to be looking in my book again and bite my cheek nervously. He had asked me a few weeks ago what I wanted for Christmas (I had refused to give an answer), so I knew he was getting me something… So, that meant that I had to give him something. I had settled on a Kindle Fire. It seems to stupid now, I had been thinking that he could use it for school too, since you can buy text books on-line, but what kind of girlfriend gets her boyfriend something for school? Maybe the Physics text books are better to actually have a "real" book in front of you. I should take it away from him before he opens it…

"Thank you," He gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Now I won't have to lug all those heavy books to your house to study."

I exhale the breath that I had been holding. He gives me my gift, the last of my presents. It's a thin long box, after removing the paper I pull out a really beautiful necklace, the silver chain seems to glitter and in the middle are a few small diamonds positioned above a pearl. He helps me put it on.

"It's beautiful," I whisper, it is really is beautiful, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He gives me another kiss on my cheek. Now I can sit back and watch everyone else unwrap their gifts. There's quite a commotion when Dr. Mellark surprises Grace with Mediterranean cruise in May. She then gets a few presents to go with that, a new wide brimmed sun hat and sun glasses, etc.

When the last present is opened and the wrapping paper all stuffed in bags for the recycling bin, Aunt Polly, Susie and Mary pack up their hoard to load into the car.

Pete and I join Charlie and Mark at the puzzle table for a little while (OK, three and a half hours), then their Dad came in, "Santa can't come when everyone is up."

"Sure Dad, do you want us to give you some milk and cookies or can you get it yourself," Mark says with a smirk.

His Dad chuckles then leaves the room and heads to the basement, Charlie and Mark head upstairs, Pete walks me to my room.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask.

He smiles and caresses my cheek, "I'll always stay with you. Always."

He sets his phone alarm to wake him at 5 so he can get back upstairs before everyone wakes up for the day.

I curl up with him in bed and the feel of his warm torso against my back relaxes me. I close my eyes and my mind lazily goes through the day, I am glad (so far) that I came with Pete for Christmas, I would have missed him so much if I had stayed home, "I do love him," I tell myself. I hear Pete's breath catch slightly. And I drift off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Pete is gone when I wake up. It's Christmas. I sigh and get up, it's just another day. Another sober day. I pull my dark jeans on and a dark red long sleeved boat neck top, I straighten out my necklace so it lays over the top. I look in the mirror and I could almost pass for normal. I step out and see Dr. Mellark at the puzzle.

"Merry Christmas!" He greets. I give him a smile and say, "Merry Christmas."

"I like to work on the puzzle when the boys are around, it makes them feel better not to have too much help."

Remembering Mark's jab at his Dad on the first puzzle I laugh, "Yes, don't want them to feel too dependent."

I get a glass of water from the kitchen and surprise my self when I walk back over to work on the puzzle with Pete's Dad.

A few quiet minutes pass, where he and I don't talk unless pointing out pieces we're looking for. Pete comes down with Charlie close behind.

They join us at the puzzle for a little while, Pete keeps looking at me, probably seeing how I'm handling the day.

"Have you eaten yet?" He asks, when I shake my head no, he holds out his hand for me to hold, then we go into the kitchen. As soon as we're around the corner he pulls me in and covers my mouth with his, any shock I had from this sudden passionate kiss disappears completely when our tongues touch. I love how he can make my knees go weak when he kisses me, if he hadn't been holding onto me I don't think my knees could support my weight. He pulls back and we both catch our breath for a moment, then he looks in my eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Katniss."

"Merry Christmas, Pete."

He rests his forehead to mine for a moment then we hear someone coming so we break apart and he gets some juice out of the fridge.

"I'll get started on the pancakes, Pete. I have some bacon in the bottom drawer in the fridge, if you can get that going. Mary and the girls will be here in about half an hour, I'd like everyone to eat something before stockings," His Mom is already in high gear, pulling out mixing bowls and ingredients.

Pete lines the bacon up on a baking sheet and puts it in the oven.

"I never knew you could cook bacon like that," I say, when I was younger we'd always use the frying pan and try not to burn ourselves while flipping them.

"You can cook a lot more this way," He tells me, "It'd take way too long in a pan."

Pete and I go back out and work on the puzzle until his mom calls that pancakes are ready. Aunt Polly and her girls show up shortly after and the girls easily put away four pancakes each.

Stockings are opened and I find that they had filled one for me too. Gift cards to JCrew, Nordstroms, and another for Barnes and Noble, then some Aveda lip gloss, chapstick, two packs of fuzzy sock slippers and a bar of gourmet chocolate. The guys all got mostly gift cards and socks while the girls got little extra trinkets that only a preteen girl could get excited about.

As soon as everyone was done, Grace stood up and went to the kitchen to get started making the dinner, Aunt Polly went to help her, while Dr. Mellark went to take a nap on the big couch in the sun room. Pete got a nice fire going, adding to the nice cozy feeling the room already had, and we all worked on the puzzle some more. My hair, that I had left down, keeps falling over my shoulder onto the puzzle, I quickly braid my hair and tie it with a hair tie that I had slipped on my wrist earlier. I turn my focus back to the table, at first I think nothing of Pete giving my braid a little tug, then I saw him toss something into the fireplace. I stop and look at him, then notice that he had pulled my hair tie out. He looks back up at me and we stare at each other for a second before I ask, "Did you just throw my hair tie into the fire?"

This causes Mark and Charlie to look up at us.

"Yes, yes I did."

I don't say anything for a while, I just stare at him, I see him starting to shift his weight, he's getting nervous that I might actually be mad at him. It's then that I start laughing and Pete leans over and kisses my cheek. Mark laughs, "Oh you kids."

"It's your fault if my hair knocks any pieces off," I warn.

"I'll have to carry the weight of that possibility with me then," He says with a wink.

A few minutes later I decide to take a break and get my new book and sit in an arm chair close to Pete, who was still at the puzzle table. I look over at Susie and Mary who are watching some Christmas movie that's going to be playing all day. Because, just in case you miss the 7 or 10 am showing, you still have a chance at 1, 4, 7 or 10 pm to see it again… Phew, that's a relief. I turn my attention to my book, the pictures are beautiful. From what I can tell of the book so far it concentrates a lot of Roman and Greek civilizations, which is really interesting. But I like to look at more the beginning of civilization, to see what lead up to those cultures.

"Hey Katniss," Susie calls from the couch in front of the TV, I look over to her and see that a commercial for Say Yes To The Dress is on. I take a sip while I watch some girl in a white dress throw stuff around a store. "When you a Pete get married can I come with you to try the dresses on?"

Wait. What?! I must inhale into my water or something because now I'm choking on my water. I look over at the puzzle table and they are all staring at me, there's no question that they heard what Susie asked. Pete gets up and looks like he's fighting back a smile, he pats me on the back as I continue coughing. Mark and Charlie both start laughing at my prolonged coughing fit and Pete is having a harder time keeping a straight face. Then I can't help but laugh along with them, while a rogue cough flares up a few more times.

"Well, Katniss?" Mark teased, "Answer the girl." My face is beat red from both the coughing and the shear embarrassment at my reaction.

"They're not engaged yet, stupid. Plus we live in Dallas, we'll only come up for the actual wedding," Mary tells her with an eye roll.

If Pete hadn't been right next to me still, I probably would have been more freaked out by this situation (and in all likelihood, hide in the guest bedroom for at least the rest of the day), but as it was his hand was rubbing rhythmically on my back. I felt calm, he was with me.

The door bell ringing announces that the Grandparents are here. After many hugs around the room, they introduce themselves to me as Grandpa Mellark and Grandma Mellark. Grandpa Mellark is a retired family practice Doctor. All the boys seem to call him Doc Mellark. Grandma Mellark is a prim and proper lady, she sits in the chair with her back to straight and hands placed just-so on her lap, her dark blue skirt and matching jacket offset the string of pearls draped over her neck.

"You're at the University with Pete and Mark, Grace tells me," She says, she seems kind but very sharp minded. The kind of person you always use your best manners with. The hoity-toity high school I went to had a "etiquette" class for half a semester in the 11th grade, I usually read a book under my desk during those classes, now I'm wishing I had paid attention. I feel like I'm being observed more, Grace is more like a mother hen, but Grandma Mellark is the matriarch, the one looking after her family.

"Yes, I'm planning on getting a Bachelors in Anthropology."

"Oh," She says and seems interested, "What career options are there for an Anthropologist?"

I know she is just making conversation, but I feel pressured, "Well, I'm hoping to get a PhD, then I'd like to work in a museum."

She asks me a few more questions then decides to switch to the boys, asking about their school work, etc. She asks Charlie if he has any special girl, then asks Mark how Kate is doing and when the wedding was planned for. I couldn't help but admire her, she was so direct but in a polite way.

After the delicious dinner that Grace put together, the Grandparents passed out their gifts, I was happy that I wasn't included in this gift exchange.

Grace and her Mother-In-Law and Polly sit in the sun room and chat, while the Dr. Mellark and Doc Mellark sit in the Christmas room with a plate of cookies and cups of coffee sit between them on the end table.

Grandma and Grandpa Mellark leave around 7 and Aunt Polly and the girls head out shortly after.

Pete and his brothers eat a full meal again, while their parents retire for the night.

Pete and I step outside for a smoke and walk around for a while. I look up, there isn't a cloud in the starry sky.

Before I can stop myself I'm singing Don McLean's _Starry Starry Night_, I only remember a few of the verses so I can't sing the whole thing, but when my voice fades out, I know that Pete has been watching me, I meet his gaze and he is looking at me with such passion and… love.

"I love you so much, Katniss," He says and cups the side of my face with his hand.

Oh god, oh god. I should tell him now, it would be the perfect time for it. Damn it why won't my mouth move, I'm frozen still.

"You don't have to say it back," He tells me then pulls away with a knowing grin, "I know you do."

I start stammering, he just smiles bigger and kisses my nose, "You said so last night... At least I assume it was me you meant when you said "him"."

I'm sure my face drains of it's color right now, "I-I said that out loud?" My expression must be priceless because Pete laughs then pulls me closer to him, "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," He whispers in my ear.


	15. Chapter 15

Aunt Polly and her girls left on the 27th, which calmed things down. Plus, I don't need to worry about getting another random comment or question from about Pete and I getting married. Though Mark had especially thought that was amusing, I didn't want a repeat of that.

Dr. Mellark had to return to work the next day and Aunt Polly was always doing out running around, meeting friends and running errand, so it was often just me, Pete and his brothers hanging out. After we finish the third puzzle, the "puzzle craze" waned itself out.

"I don't think I'll be able to look at a puzzle again for a while," I joked to Pete.

"You have a year to recover."

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face, he wants me to come with him next Christmas too.

I started to actually trying help around the house, instead of just trying to stay out of the way and not cause any inconvenience to anyone. I started to feel more like family than a guest. Mark's jokes switched from the "hazing" like jokes, to the casual ones that Charlie, Pete at their Dad put up with.

Charlie leaves the day before us, and I got a long hug from Charlie before he left, he had told me that I should come up with Pete sometime, "Even if it's just a weekend, Chicago's a fun town."

The next day I get a hug from his Mom and his Dad. His Mom even gives me a kiss on the cheek, "You come and visit whenever you want, dear."

"Thank you," I tell her. They invited me to join their holiday and treated me like a member of their family. I didn't know how to even begin to express my gratitude for that.

I'm not sure how I feel when we pull up to my apartment building… I'm happy to be back home, but it was so _nice_ to be a part of a family. Returning to my apartment makes me feel alone.

Pete parks his car and gets out with me, he carries my bag for me.

"Can you stay a little while?" I ask, I don't want him to think I'm trying to smother him or that I'm entirely dependent on his presence.

"I was planning on it," He says with a smile, I return his smile and take his hands so our fingers can knit together.

Of course we would run into Gale and Jo. Of course. There's over a 100 other people in this building but _he's_ the one that we see. Jo gives me a smile, "Looks like you had a very Merry Christmas… Just getting back?"

Pete answers for me, "Yep, she had to put up with me and my brothers shenanigans for a while."

"Oh I'm sure you could get up to all sorts of shenanigans," Jo says with a saucy smile. Did she just make the word shenanigans into some sort of sexual innuendo? Jeez, Jo.

"Finn's friend is having a huge New Years party tomorrow night, you should both come, it'll be awesome!" Jo continues, leaving Gale to grind his teeth.

"Sure," Pete says and I snap my neck around to look at him.

"You might not like it," Gale tells him. Pete gives him a long stare before asking, "Why do you think so?"

"Well, you might think it's a bit below your usual standards. Unless you feel like slumming it."

"Shut up, Gale," Jo says before I could get a chance to say anything, "Or I'll get you un-invited." She looks back to us, "Anyways. I'll get in touch with you tomorrow with the details."

Pete and I head up to my door.

"I'm really starting to hate that guy," Pete tells me, his fists are clenched.

"I'm already there." I give him a kiss on the cheek, "Just ignore him. We don't have to go to that party…"

"We can at least stop by. Mark's fiancée, Kate and her roommate are also throwing a party. We can go to both," He tosses by bag towards my bedroom door, then turns to me with a mischievous grin, "Or neither, I'd be _perfectly _happy to staying in all night long, I just need you."

"You have me," I say and give him a long kiss. Our bodies fuse together and the thrill of not being in his parents house rushes through me. Taking off each others clothes as we get back to my room, in the short time that it took us to get to the bed all of our clothes are off. Oh, how I missed this! We were able to sneak in a few "quickies" now and again when we were at his parents, but, Pete is too good to be a quickie. I need the full-blown, all out, sheet crumpling sex. I know I moaned more than usual (just relishing in the fact that I didn't have to be quiet), and I also know that it was driving Pete crazy hearing me like that. I rolled over to me on top, Pete ran his hands all the way up my torso then traced them back down and held onto my hips firmly, then he raised his head and took my nipple in his mouth. Oh God! He presses hard into me the same time he bites my nipple, I close my eyes and feel my eyes roll back as I feel like I've exploded. Pete holds onto me while he flips us back over. My mind is still blissfully blank and I try to keep moving with Pete's rhythm, I moan out as he pushes in fast and hard, I open my eyes and he meets my gaze. "I love you, Pete."

He pulses in once more and I feel him throbbing inside me I feel a tremor and he releases. He's propped up over me on his elbows looking at me with so much love and intensity. Apart from me unknowingly telling him Christmas Eve, I hadn't come straight out and said them directly to him. I raise my hand to his cheek and look deep into his eyes and say them again, this time not in the heat of the moment or when I'm half asleep, "I love you."

"I love you," He tells me and gives me a long kiss.

We stay together for the night, I love having him right by me, if I woke up I could always feel him, it would bring a sense of calm to me and I'd easily fall back asleep.

The next morning he says he should get to his house to check on things.

"Let me know what you want to do tonight," He says, it's New Years Eve today.

I smile and nod, and we kiss good-bye. Part of me does want to break out and party, but I would love to spend another night like last night with Pete, just the two of us.

I remember for last New Years, I had wandered around to different parties with Clove. I had kissed a random guy at midnight and then had to flee the party laughing with Clove when he started drunkenly calling me his "soul mate". Gale says he found the two of us leaning up against the apartment building sitting in the snow laughing, he claims to have helped us upstairs and assisted me with figuring out how keys and locks work.

"Clove kissed me," He had said, giving me that look he used to give me. I had snorted with laughter and said, "Yeah. She does that."

This New Years was going to be better, I'd be with Pete instead of Clove. I couldn't help but smile at that fact.

Jo calls me around three in the afternoon, "Hey, can I come raid your closet before the party?"

Huh? "Why?" I ask.

"To find something to wear tonight, brainless… I have nothing."

OK. I guess she can wear some of my clothes. "Yeah sure. Not promising a lot of options, but you can look."

"Good, I'll be over in a few."

She starts knocking on the door and keeps continuously knocking until I have the door opened.

"Hey. Lookin' good. You didn't have to get all dolled up for me."

I hadn't changed out of my sweatpants and tank top that I slept in, so I roll my eyes at her version of a greeting.

"I brought some champagne so we can pre-party while we get ready," She tells me then lifts up a large bag, "I also brought makeup and a curling iron, since I have a pretty good idea that you own neither." She's right, but she doesn't need me to tell her this, she knows she's right.

She shows herself to my closet and I follow behind.

"What are you wearing?" She asks and pulls out a black sequined tank top and holds it against her.

"I dunno. We might just stay in."

"What are you 50? I will not allow you to stay home for New Years." She gives me the death glare until I give in.

"OK, fine. We'll meet you there later on in the night."

While I'm texting Pete, talking about tonight's plans, Jo takes it upon herself to find me an outfit. I turn down the first one she picks out, a sheer black tunic tank top, "You can wear this tank top underneath and add some funky tights."

"That _top_ would barely cover my ass, I'm not going to wear it without actual pants."

She rolls her eyes as if my request to not have my ass hanging out is just me being "picky".

For over an hour we tried on different outfits, once we popped the champagne the choices got a little ridiculous at times, but we eventually found a silvery gray shift dress for Jo that she was going to "accent" it with a purple boa that she brought from home… I'm serious. I know I wasn't going to look nearly as, um, flashy, but I convinced her to let me simply wear a burnt orange loose fitting tank top and skinny jeans then my brown leather jacket. Jo insists that she won't need a coat. "It'll just get lost, Kat. Plus, if I get cold then I'll get some cute guy to give me his coat. They wouldn't want a cute little thing like me to freeze…I'll find a white knight, just like you."

"Good luck. I don't think there are many out there like him."

Jo stops and looks at me.

"What?" I finally ask.

"You are so smitten," She says shaking her head, "Oh my God. Do you have "I heart Pete", tattooed on your ass yet?"

"Oh, don't tempt me," I said joking.

Jo can't stop smirking, but we drop the subject for a while.

Pete calls to say he's on his way over, just as Jo is tossing the champagne bottle in the trash. As I'm talking to him I fidget with the necklace he gave me. I can feel Jo's eyes on me and it causes me to blush. After I hang up, Jo is practically laughing at me. Then she just shakes her head when I ask her, "What?"

"Nothing… Ok let's get started on make-up, want to have you all sexed up for lover boy."

Pete shows up a few minutes later, before Jo has a chance to "get to work" on me. He looks so hot, his blue sweater, which is just tight enough to see his muscular frame, is a bit darker than his eyes, making the bright blue of his eyes stand out even more. Oh shit, how long have I been staring at him. I jolt myself out of my daydream of Pete's body. I can tell my total check out of him didn't go unnoticed by Pete.

"You look really good," I tell him and feel my cheek turn pink.

"OK that's enough, get your ass in the bathroom now, Katniss!" Jo says stomping into the hall, "Hi. You look like sex on a stick."

I slap my hand to my forehead, "Jeez, Jo. Do you have some sort of social filter you can use?"

"It's just honesty, Kat. You know it's true." Well, I certainly can't deny that.

Pete amuses himself for a while watching the spectacle of Jo trying to get me to wear fake eyelashes, then goes and sits down and watches TV.

After much arguing Jo gets to put eye make up on and curl my hair a little.

"Don't you dare give me a head full of ringlet curls," I have my finger pointed menacingly at her.

She just rolls her eyes and forces my head to look forward. When the hair spray comes out I have to dash for the fresh air outside the bathroom.

"Don't be such a overdramatic wuss, it's not gonna kill you."

"I'm all ready, I'm done," I call out to her, "You can finish getting yourself ready, now." And I collapse on the sofa next to Pete.

He wraps an arm around me, "You look very sexy." He nuzzles my neck.

"Sexy?" I say, biting my lip as he starts kissing my neck, "More so than my gray dress?"

He does a low growl in the back of his throat, which I had never heard before, but my body responses. I don't care if Jo is here or not, I want to strip off all our clothes right now.

"Definitely the dress," then he looks in my eyes, "The way it hugged your body…" He can't finish the sentence, his eyes are so intense on me, my heart rate quickens. How much longer was Jo going to be here?

"You actually got her in a dress," Jo says, unceremoniously joining in our conversation.

"Yeah…So we'll meet you at the party, then OK Jo?"

She rolls her eyes and twitches her boa over her shoulders dramatically, "Fine. I can take a hint… I'll just have to go bug Gale for a while... Don't mess up the hair and makeup too much with your, shenanigans."


	16. Chapter 16

It took a lot longer to reassemble our clothes than it did to take them off. A look in the mirror tells me that my hair, though a little ruffled isn't too messed up. Not that I care, but I can only imagine the comments Jo would make.

"Not a bad way to end the year," He says, coming up behind me and kissing my neck.

"Not bad at all."  
Pete put together something for us to eat before leaving. During exams, when he was practically living here, Pete would usually bring food with him, so my V8 juice and peanut butter had company in the cupboard. I would usually sit at the bar resting my chin in my hand while I watch him. When we were at his parents house I got used to having three _real _meals every single day. Plus cookies, brownies, and fresh baked goods galore, just in case you get hungry between meals.

"OK, we should get going. I know Kate wants to meet you," He tells me after I clear the plates.

I cringe slightly, I've never really gotten along with girls… especially since I'm picturing this "Kate" as a preppy girly girl. I never have anything to talk about with them, I don't know anything about the new boy bands, and I have no idea what movies Brad Pitt's in (or whoever the new heart throb is).

"She's nice," He tells me, sensing my worry. He flips my hair over my shoulder, "We'll have fun."

I nod. I'm glad we're going to Kate's party first. I don't think I'd make as good of a first impression with this girl if I was trashed.

When we arrive at Kate's, there is already about a dozen cars parked along the street. Christmas lights are still strung up along the roof and in the front window.

Pete opens the door for me, the living room is packed. I don't know the song that's being blared out of the stereo, but it sounds like something that would be heard in the mall.

"There's Mark," Pete says and we make our way over.

He hands both of us a jell-o shot by way of greeting. Pete and Mark talk for a while before a red head comes up to the three of us.

"You must be Katniss. Pete and Mark have been telling me a lot about you. I'm Kate," she offers me a wide smile. For some reason I had imagined her being blonde, perky and ditzy.

I shake her hand, "It's nice to meet you."

"Come on, I'll get you a jell-o shot," She threads her arm through mine.

"Mark got us one," I tell her, holding up my now empty Dixie cup.

"I'll show you where the stash is. I'm due for another anyway. Mark says you might want to join our rec soccer team. We have a lot of fun, but with a competitive edge and who doesn't like that. I sometimes wish Mark and I were on opposite teams so I could show him up. We keep track of how many goals each of us makes, he's usually a head of me, but I know I'm better." She jabbers a lot, I'm betting it's an effect of the alcohol though.

When we get to the kitchen she opens up the freezer and I see that apart from ice trays the whole thing is filled with little Dixie cups of jell-o. She hands me one and we both pop them in our mouth.

"Pete has just been gushing about you. I feel ask if I already know you."

Gushing? What could there be to gush about. I just smile, I think back to what Mark has told me about her, but apart from being engaged and the fact that she plays soccer, I can't think of anything. So I settle for, "You have a nice house." There, that's generic.

"Oh, thanks. We're renting, Delly and I moved in this summer. It's great being so close to campus."

We stay and chit-chat for a little while longer. I surprise myself with not saying anything overly awkward. She's had graduated high school early and already has a Bachelors in Biology and in a year and a half she'll have her Masters in Bio-chemistry.

"Hey… I know you," a drunk blonde says to me. She stands there looking at me while swaying slightly despite the fact that her arm is draped over some guy's shoulders.

"This is Pete's girlfriend, Katniss," Kate says, "This is my roommate, Delly."

Delly, I have a flash back to my freshmen year dorm room. She lived next door.

"We lived next door to one another," she cries, acting as if this meant we were long lost friends, "Last year, remember?"

I nod, "Yeah." How did this girl end up friends with Kate. Kate seemed intelligent, Delly… well, not so much. I thought she was pledging for a sorority.

"You're dating Pete Mellark? Oh my god! We've known each other forever," She emphasis the word "forever" by making a wide movement with her hand and spilling her drink on the guy supporting her, "Oh, I'm sorry, Lance." She drunkenly tries to wipe his top off.

"She used to live by the Mellarks until her Dad got transferred to Minneapolis. Delly introduced me to Mark, actually. She's my cousin."

"Do you think she'll make it to midnight?" I ask. Kate just laughs, "We'll see. She won't remember either way."

Pete finds me a little while later, he introduces me to some other people. After a few more jell-o shots I start to feel a bit more at ease with my fellow partiers, I'm actually able to have a "normal" conversation with some of them.

Around 11 o'clock, I get a text from Jo telling me:

Get your ass over here! You better not still be at home!

Pete, who apart from the one jell-o shot an hour ago, hasn't had anything to drink. So we make the drive to the party. It's on the east side of the river, but just a few blocks away from the campus. Jo had told me to park in the church parking lot across the street.

There's no guessing which house the party is in, there's people standing in the front yard by the door, on the driveway by the garage, not to mention the loud music coming from inside.

I text Jo that we're here. We make our way inside and find Finn in the kitchen mixing a big vat of what looks like jungle juice.

"Hey, Pete and Kat. Jo said you guys would make it. Here, you can be the first tasters."

The jungle juice is sickly sweet, but I know that's the point. Most people _don't_ want to taste the alcohol.

A drunk Jo lunges at Pete from behind, "You came!" Pete helps her steady herself on her feet before letting go.

"I was afraid you guys would get too involved with your shenanigans… and when I say shenanigans I mean sex."

"I think we all get that, Jo," Pete says giving me a side glance and a wink.

"Come on, let's party. Finn can keep Pete company for a moment," Jo tries to drag me off. I pull away and go back to Pete.

He looks at me, "Don't get too crazy." He puts his hand up to my cheek. I close my eyes for a moment at his touch, then lean in to give him a kiss. I feel slightly guilty leaving him here, especially when both him and I know what Jo means when she says "party", I tell him, "I'll be right back."

"Kat doesn't know how to get crazy, relax. Plus, they have the free "safe ride home" going on tonight. In case I can't remember that later, I programmed it as speed dial 1 for the night," She laughs, "I think there's a keg in the basement, go have fun. You can hold me up for a keg stand later, I'm sure your strong enough," Jo start batting her eyelashes at Pete. I slap her arm, "Stop flirting with my boyfriend."

She just laughs and pulls me away. It's now that I realize she's wearing a navy blazer jacket that is clearly a man's jacket.

"So you found a White Knight, to save you from frost bite?" I asked.

She laughed as she looked down, "No just some random guy, I was too cold to be picky. He was nothing."

"Except cold, now."

We both burst into laughter. If I was to have a girl friend, it _could _be someone like Jo.

"I got some awesome stuff from Cato, this is his party. He was lining it up free earlier, maybe we can get back in."

She gave a quick knock on a door upstairs. We walked in.

"Jo Jo, did you bring me a beer?" A guy's voice asked.

"Damn it. Sorry. I got distracted," She says slapping her forehead, she pulls me in, "This is my friend, Kat. She seems entirely to sober for it being almost midnight." Friend? Maybe we are friends.

"Well come on in, we can fix that." I'm assuming this guy is Cato, he's the only one speaking, so I think I'm right.

I take a look around the room, 5 people are sitting around the room. I can smell weed in the air, and then I notice half a blunt still rolling in an ashtray, and a few joint roaches laying about.

"You can hang for a while, but you better freakin get me a beer later. I don't want to go down and mingle with everyone else."

"Ass," Is my first thought about this guy. But this ass of a guy just dumped out a nice sized pile of coke.

I notice the guy closest to the ashtray slowly moving over to pick the blunt up. He takes a hit then tries to pass it on to the blonde girl closest to him, she just waves it away from her with a blank look on her face. Everyone in the room seems overly fucked up, the blunt ends up between just Jo and I. As Cato gets the lines ready, people start mustering up what interest and energy they can, and move towards the table.

"These lines will wake you fuckers up," He says after looking at them, "Jesus, we've still got half an hour till midnight. I don't want to be stuck in a room with light weights. This is a New Years Party, don't come if you can stay up for the new year."

Jeez, this guy could take host lessons from _me_.

Woo, did that line have a punch. When we get up to leave Cato says to me, actually looking at me for the first time, "You can have some more for the rest of the night for 120."

Why was I opening my little clutch and pulling out cash? For the same reason I put cash in my clutch, to buy this shit. It's a lot of fun and it's a party! I was clean for 10 days! Ten, that's like almost two weeks, which is half a month!

When we reach the 1st floor, Jo snatches up two shot glasses sitting on a table, they both have dark liquid in them. She hands one to me and we knock them back at the same time. Brandy. We each grab a fresh cup of jungle juice.

"Come on, let's find your boy," Jo says and leads the way to the basement stairs, but not before slapping some random guy's ass on the way.

The basement is unfinished and behind the smell of beer there's a "dirty basement smell".

There are two kegs set up close to one another, there's a crowd around two guys doing a keg stand. It takes Jo laughing and pointing, for me to notice that it's Pete and Finn standing upside down on the keg. Pete kicks down and Finn follows half a second later. They're both laughing with one another and are getting high fives and slaps on the back. Two more people line up for their turn. I step through the crowd of people getting excited for the next pair. Pete sees me and gives me a big grin. He pulls me away from the kegs then surprises me by twirling me around then dips me down and gives me a long kiss. Several people wolf whistle. While I hear Finn say, "Save it for midnight!" He straightens me out but keeps his hold on me, which is good I'm feeling a little light headed at the moment. I take a few sips of my drink to "steady" myself. Ha!

Someone near by opens up a bottle of champagne and Jo and I are the first in line accepting a glass, drain it then manage to get a re-fill. It's mostly guys in the basement anyways, they can have their kegs, leave the champagne for the girls.

The music that has been playing throughout the house suddenly stops and we hear, "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1. Happy New Year!"

Pete brings my body to his and cups my face with both hands and kisses me. A passionate, knee quaking kiss. My world is left spinning when we break apart. I look into his eyes. I don't want to be here, I want to be naked and in bed with Pete. Maybe people wouldn't notice if we had sex right here, they're all pretty drunk by now…

"Come on," I get nudged from behind, "Let's grab a smoke." I blink twice and look at Jo standing next to me. Damn you Jo for barging in during my thoughts of having public sex. There's a guy standing close to Jo, staring at her, probably the guy she kiss. I wonder vaguely if she knows him. I look back at Pete, I lean in, "How long do you want to stay?"

"Not long," He answers and circles his arm around me.

"God! You two! Stop pawing each other," Jo stomps her foot and turns on her heel, after giving the guy still staring at her a wink. Pete and I follow her to the backdoor and step outside. After we light up, Finn joins us and him and Pete start talking. Jo pulls me away with a very serious question, "OK, pretend you're me, are there any fuck-able guys here. Because honestly," She pauses for a moment and I think she's either thinking about something really hard or she forgot what she was saying. She bursts out laughing, but doesn't finish her sentence. She probably forgot she had been talking.

My gaze falls back on Pete, and I watch him talking to Finn. His hair hangs down his forehead, curling slightly at the ends. I hear him laughing at something and I smile at the sound.

I hear Jo right behind me talking in a high pitched giggly voice, "My boyfriend is so cute. I can't believe he likes me. I wonder what our kids will look like… I hope they have his eyes." She's trying to impersonate me.

A few people around heard her impression of me and laugh. One person who heard and didn't laugh, Gale. He looks at me and I look back to Pete. I'm not going to let Gale ruin my night.

Pete looks over at me and sees me staring at him and smiles at me, he strides over. God, he is good looking. And he's mine. He takes hold of my hand and looks at Jo.

"She was just saying how she wants to have lots of babies with you, as long as they have your eyes," Jo says, then empties her drink.

"I did not say that," I snap at her.

"Fine, can I have his children then?"

I decide to ignore her comment, as does Pete. I hope he doesn't think I was really thinking about kids.

"Shots!" A voice comes from a few feet away. A guy with a huge tray of little plastic cups makes he's way around the crowd of people smoking.

We all down our shots. I'd think it was rum mixed with something.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Jo tells me. I shrug and turn my attention away. She grabs my arm, "Come on."

"Be right back," I say and give him a kiss.

We crowd into the small powder room to "powder our noses". After checking in the mirror to make sure no powder remained visible on our noses, we stepped back out. Jo grabs more shots. I feel a little unsteady as we make our way back outside. I see Pete and center my focus on him, I don't realize who he's talking to until I'm right next to him. Gale. What the fuck?

"Happy New Years, Katniss." Is all Gale says.

I stare at him for a moment before saying, "Happy New Years to you."

My civility towards him is spent and I look up at Pete, and give him a "let's go get naked at my place" look, at least that's what I was going for. I don't have _a lot_ of control of my face right now, it's a little on the numb side right now… Don't worry, it's still there (I was worried before I touched it, yep, still there).

It's an hour wait for the "safe ride home" cab to get here. That's too much time for too many shots. Finn talks Pete into another keg stand, while we wait, and Jo is drinking up a rabid storm. By the time the cab gets here, Jo is practically passing out.

"Can I share a cab and crash at your place?" She asks hanging on my shoulders.

"Sure," Pete answers for me. His answer is nicer than mine, so I allow it.

It's only a five minute drive back to my apartment. As we make our way up the stairs, Jo stopped to rest a few times and curled up to go to sleep on the 2nd floor landing. Pete gave a sigh then went to pick her up and carried her. I slap her (probably a little too hard) on her arm, "Walk yourself! He's my boyfriend he should be carrying me!"

I only get a muffled, "Shut up" in response. Pete puts her down when we get to the door and she shuffles in.

"You guys aren't going to be super loud are you?" She starts to go to the couch in the living room.

"I'd sleep in the den," Pete tells her giving me a wink, the den is the farthest away from my bedroom.

Jo groans and stumbles to the den and she collapses on the chaise lounge.

"Do you want to get her a blanket?" He asks. I raise an eye brow. I was giving her a place to crash, wasn't that enough.

He smirks at me, "Go get her a blanket, I'll get her a glass of water and an empty trashcan."

He's a better friend than me. He's a better everything than me.

**A/N: OK, I'm sorry Katniss is still trailing along the drug path… I promise she will get there, it's a long and winding road. Some of you might not like that I had Pete drinking, but it's New Years! I'm sure if there wasn't a "safe ride home" he wouldn't have drank. Though Jo calls him "Perfect Pete" he's caring and responsible, not a saint. Plus, I wanted Pete to see this side of Katniss.**

**Oh, and just in case you've forgotten, I don't own Hunger Games.**


	17. Chapter 17

Ugh. I feel like crap! Stupid jungle juice with its overly sugared cheap liquor. The only nice thing is that Pete and I are currently curled up together, my back feels warm and relaxed from the feel of him. In sharp contrast the rest of my body is screaming in pain and dehydration.

As much as I hate to move away from him, I try to slide out, slowly lifting his arm off me. He makes a grunt of agitation, then pulls me in tighter. He mumbles in my ear, "Sleep."

I wait a few minutes before trying again, "I need water, my head is pounding." And my brain feels like a dried sponge gasping for liquid.

He releases me and rolls over with a grunt. My feet stumble as I try to make my way to the kitchen. Stupid kitchen, and it's stupid distance from my bed, if I had a studio apartment I'd be there by now.

I stick a glass under the running water, then lift it up and start gulping. The water is luke warm and tastes disgusting. The thought of fresh cold water would make my mouth water if I had any saliva to spare. I sigh and turn the faucet on again, then lay my head on the cold counter top while I wait for the water to get cold. Jeez, this is taking forever. I reach for my Tylenol and fumble around trying to get the lid off.

"Can you shut up!"

Right, Jo's here.

She stumbles out of the den. A deep sleep line covers one side of her face and her eye make- up is smeared down her cheek. She's still wearing the dress I let her borrow, with the jacket over it. I should have offered her something to change into. She has an empty glass in her hand and sticks it under the water faucet that's still running. I dump out a few extra Tylenol for her and set them on the counter.

We stand in silent misery for a while, trying to re-hydrate. I know a V8 would work wonders, but the thought of its taste makes me want to puke right now.

I make my way to my bathroom where I keep my weed. I load a bowl because my fingers wouldn't be able to roll a joint. I bring it out to the living room and open the balcony door and sit down on the couch, pulling a blanket around me. Jo slumps over and collapses next to me. I let her share my blanket as we pass the pipe back and forth. My head is still pounding, but I'm able to forget about it. When the bowl is cashed out, Jo remains sitting, I go and pour some V8 and a shot of whisky in two glasses. I hand one to Jo then drink my own. Even stoned the combination tastes horrible, but it's a tried and true hangover cure… Maybe "cure" is too strong of a word for it; it takes the edge off at least.

I go back to my room and grab a pair of sweat pants and a tee-shirt. I toss them at Jo, then turn around and crawl back into bed. Pete wraps his arms around me and I'm lulled back to sleep.

It must be several hours later when I wake up again, I think I'm awake anyway, something feels so nice… It's Pete kissing my neck, I'm still unsure if this is real or a dream. When I reach behind me and run my fingers through his hair, he bites down on my ear lobe, a pleasurable pain shoots through me. Yep. I'm awake. All thoughts about feeling crappy and hung-over disappear as he sends his kisses down my body, removing clothes as he goes. When he kisses land in between my legs I throw my head back and moan, he doesn't stay there long, then he kisses his way back up, one of my knees is still bent over his shoulder as he pushes into me.

Orgasms are great for hangover relief.

After we get dressed, Pete reminds me that his car is still at the party.

I groan, "We have to go get it now?" I'm sure I sounded whiney.

"I'd like to, we could stop and get something to eat on our way. I'm starving."

"Nothing will be open, it's New Year's Day," I grumble, still upset that I have to leave my home.

"I'll settle for fast food, the greasier the better."

Jo didn't want to get up. I ended up having to load another bowl then blow the smoke in her face, before she finally woke up and took a hit herself.

"Come on, freeloader. Time to get moving. We're going to take you to your car."

"Oh? Do you know where it is?" She asks, then starts laughing.

After going through the list of places her car could be, she thinks she remembers going to Finn's house and then driving with him to the party. OK, so we at least have a probable starting point.

I make her change back into the clothes she had worn yesterday when she came over to "raid" my closet. She moaned and groaned about having to change out of the sweatpants and had given her.

"The sooner you get back to your place the sooner you can wear your own comfy clothes."

We pile into my car and Pete asks to drive, which I eagerly allow. Now I get to sit back and close my eyes. It had been cloudy the past few days, but of course today the sun blindingly bright and reflecting against the snow.

I look at the clock on the dashboard and it says that is a little after noon.

"I'm grabbing something to eat first," He says right as he's turning into a fast food restaurant that's known for it's huge greasy burritos.

He convinces us to go and sit down instead of going through the drive-thru.

We shuffle in behind Pete, Jo keeps her sunglasses on. Pete orders for all of us when Jo and I merely shrug when he asks what we want.

The greasy burrito with guacamole tastes heavenly, we eat in silence before Jo (who feels required to say something crude).

"They," She gestures towards the fast food employees, "Probably think we had a hot and wild threesome last night, and you bought us lunch to say "thank you" for the best sex you've ever had."

"I'm sure they do, Jo," Is all Pete says, thankfully. I don't say anything, I've found that with Jo, it's sometimes better not to answer, it'll only spur her on.

I have to wipe the grease as it dribbles down my forearm, then return to my burrito. I'm surprised when I eat almost all of it. When I can't eat another bite, I can almost hear my body screaming, "What?! You dumped that cheap alcohol in me and _now_ you expect me to process this? Damn you!"

I want nothing more than to snuggle down and fall back asleep, the metal chairs and table aren't the most comfortable, but, "It'll do," I think and lay my head down. The cold table feels good on my head and I close my eyes. I'm not allowed to rest much because Pete is saying we need to go.

On our way to Finn's we see a Starbucks, we each get an overpriced black cup of coffee. When we pull into Finn's apartment, her car isn't there.

"There's Finn's car… Did I drive us to the party then?" Jo wonders aloud.

I roll my eyes before closing them again.

"Well my car is at that church still, so let's head there next," Pete says, he has so much more patience than I do. If it were only Jo and I, she probably would have had to walk home and worry about finding her car by herself.

Luckily, her car is in the church parking lot, taking up two spaces.

"Thanks," she mumbles, "I'll talk to you later, Kat."

It's not until Pete opens up my side of the car and the realize that I have to drive back home. I swing my legs out and stand up with a "huff".

He gives me a long kiss, "I'll be over tonight, OK? We can just stay in."

I nod and lean forward for another kiss.

Home alone. I roll up a joint and grab a glass of water. As I sit in the bathtub watching and feeling the hot water raise up higher and higher, I spark the joint. By the time the bathtub is full, the joint is over half gone and lies in the ashtray. I drink some of my water and I relish in the hydration. I take a deep breath and slip under the water. I imagine water seeping into my skull and rehydrating my brain, I open my eyes for a second, enjoying the burning sensation, before I blow all the air out of my nose and mouth then surface. I stay in the bath till the water turn cool. I wrap a towel around myself then fall into bed and pull a blanket over me.

I wake up to a dark room, my hair is still wet and I've come unwrapped from my towel. I shuffle my way around my room, pulling on pants and a tee-shirt. After getting a fresh glass of water I grab my phone from my purse. 7 missed calls. All Pete. I look at the time, it's after 9. I quickly give him a call right as someone knocks on my door. A look through the peep-hole shows me it's Pete, I hang up and open the door.

He bursts in and pulls me in for a hug before pushing me back an arm's length.

"What happened? Are you OK?"

I'm shocked, so it takes me a moment to answer, "I'm fine. I just woke up, I fell asleep."

The worried look that had been prevalent on his face turns to relief then anger.

"I tried calling, I came over and knocked…" His face softens as the anger leaves him, "God, I thought…" He doesn't finish. I know what he thought, that I was laying unconscious somewhere, either from drinking too much or even overdosing. I felt horrible for making him feel that, especially since it's not exactly _unlikely_ that it could happen.

He pulls me in for a tight hug.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, then pull away a little, "I think you had your own key."


	18. Chapter 18

About two weeks before school began, Pete started bringing over his MCAT prep text books, he'd hole himself up in my den, pouring over the books. I would generally be curled up on the couch watching TV or surfing the web (trying to ignore the sloth like feeling). Every now and then I'd make a fresh pot of coffee (I can make a pretty good cup of coffee now), the smell would draw him out and he'd take a short break with me.

Late January classes started, Pete was still taking a full class load for his Physics degree, and then in mid-February he started a MCAT prep-course that was on the weekends. I was busy with my own overloaded schedule, but I felt like I had it easy compared to him. He would usually stay at my place, which I appreciated, but apart from his ten minute study breaks spaced out every 45 minutes (he set a timer), I wouldn't get to spend time with him until I dragged him to bed. Even then I could tell his brain was still whirling from whichever book I had pulled him away from.

When he tried to bring an Organic Chem book to bed... This was serious. He didn't notice me sliding down him until I pulled his boxers down.

"Wh-what?" He looked down at me as I picked his dick up and put it in my mouth. He let out a groan/sigh and his book fell to the side of him and hit the floor with a large "thunk". He started getting hard and I started teasing his tip with my tongue and then took him fully in my mouth again, massaging him with my tongue. His hips bucked slightly, thrusting into my mouth. I made a "Mmmm" sound, vibrating the back of my throat. He moaned then pulled me up and threw me down on my back then ripped my pants off, he pushed right into me, filling me up. God, he feels so good. His hand slid under my tee-shirt grabbing my breast, then circled around my back up to my shoulders, his other arm went around my hips, lifting me up slightly, then he pounded into me, moving me in sync with his thrusts. I drop my head back and moan his name. I feel him cum inside me, the feeling sends a rush of heat to my core and my body tingles. Wow! His orgasm hasn't made me have one before, it was amazing! We both lay catching our breath, then I give him a smirk, "The bed is only used for two things, and studying isn't one of them."

"I'll try to remember that," He says kissing me, "Though I might need you to remind me again…"

It's the feeling of him pulling out that makes me realize… "Condom," I can hear the fear in my voice. We have always used one, but not this time.

"Oh," He says, it's the guilt in his expression that makes me start to get angry.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit," I curse as I roll off the bed and pull my pants on.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Pete pulls his boxers back on and stands to try to comfort me.

"You did this on purpose, you want me to get pregnant!" I'm hysterical, I can't get pregnant. I can Not get pregnant.

He stops and looks at me, "You came on to me! Why would I want to have a baby now, Katniss?! For God's sake! Do you think that _I_ have the time right now!"

"I can't get pregnant. I won't!"

"I'm not asking you to!" He was practically shouting back at me now.

"So you're saying you never want kids?" I snap at him, I don't believe it. I've seen the way his eyes linger on babies when we're out at a restaurant.

"Not now for God's sake!" He ran his fingers through his hair, "You're being ridiculous. I don't have time for this!"

He left. He left and drove away. He's not gone two minutes and I burst into tears and curl up on my bed and throw the blanket over me, my sheets smell like him. I miss him already. I am ridiculous. Why did I say those things to him? It wasn't his fault, we just got caught up in the moment… I hadn't thought of it until after. Pete would try to trick me into getting pregnant, never mind the fact that he doesn't have time to deal with a baby, he wouldn't _ever_ do that to me. He's too good. I feel terrible, I'm a horrible person.

I roll out of bed and pour some whiskey in a glass. I'll have to go to the student health center in the morning before class, they put up a big stink about giving them out, but they have the Morning After pill there. I've never had to take one, Clove had me wait with her once last year, they gave her a long safe sex lecture and asked her all sorts of personal questions and ran a STD exam. I'm not looking forward to it, but if the other option is being pregnant…

I know I need to apologize to him. I can't stand Pete being mad at me.

I speed dial his number, he picks up right after the second ring.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Silence, tears are still dripping down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I start, "I know you didn't mean for it to happen."

"Katniss, I would never-"

I cut him off, "I know."

"I'm sorry I left."

"I _was_ being ridiculous."

We're silent again.

"Will you come back over?" I ask meekly.

I can hear him sigh, "Katniss, it's late, and I'm tired."

He's not coming back? I apologized. Jeez, why did I have to overreact? Now what am I going to do?

"You'll be fine," He tells me, "Just go to sleep. I'll see you after class tomorrow."

Go to sleep? How does he expect me to fall asleep? I needed him.

"I love you, Katniss."

"I love you, too." Now come back over.

I almost ask if I can come to his place, but I'm scared of him saying no.

We hang up.

I pour another drink. Part of me wants to stay up all night just to spite him, I haven't been doing nearly as much coke as I used to. I still actually had the stuff from New Years. It's been months since I've done an all-night coke binge. Tomorrow would be hell, having to sit through my classses. I'd probably have to bring some with me to do in between classes, the lid of the altoids case I keep the stuff in can work as a surface, I'd just need to duck into the bathroom… See, this, THIS is why I can't have kids, I'd be the worst Mother _ever_, even if I could get through the pregnancy, which I doubt I would. My body probably is incapable of housing another human being.

I let out a long sigh. What would I be proving if I did stay up all night, high on coke? That I can't take care of myself. That I'm too stupid to be able to survive alone. Pete would probably feel guilty (the sad pathetic side of me thinks "good"), but he'd be disappointed. I decided to smoke a joint and finish my drink and try to fall asleep. I know I can't sleep in the bed, my bed that smells like Pete. Sweet Perfect Pete, whom I don't deserve. I decide to curl up on the couch and watch A&E's Pride and Prejudice, the music lulls me to sleep. I don't even make it to the Netherfield Ball.

The sun stays behind the cold grey clouds, but the change in light wakes me up anyways. I get dressed and head over to the student health center, my first class is in an hour and a half, it should be enough time.

The nurse is a bitch. Condescending. If I wasn't desperate, I'd tell her to shove her "safe sex pamphlets" up her ass.

When I tell her my last period was a few months ago, she stops writing and looks up.

"Are you pregnant now?"

Would I be here if I was?!

"No," I snap, "That's normal for me." Since starting college (and coke) my periods have been very spaced out, probably because of my lack of body fat. No complaints from me about that. This fat nurse is probably just jealous, probably on the rag now.

"Well, you should get on birth control to regulate them."

I should, it'd be easier… Plus, the sex last night was awesome, the feeling of his orgasm still makes me tingle. Then there wouldn't be any repeat of this drama.

"How about if I just get my uterus removed," I say, half joking.

"You're too young for that procedure, unless there's a valid medical reason."

A valid reason? How about my life is fucked up and I don't want to be responsible for a child that would be fucked up because of me? That sounds pretty stinkin' valid to me.

After getting blood drawn and prodded and scraped "down there", I have to answer questions about my sexual life. I think that this is how this lady gets off, she is clearly enjoying this too much. Finally, it's over, she hands me the little pill pouch and I tall disposable cup of water, "Take this, then drink all the water", she then says that she will call with the results of my blood work, and that she's already faxed over a prescription for birth control.

I'm free! The air outside is cold and damp, but it smells like freedom after being holed up in that stupid office for so long. I check my phone for the time, my first class is going to start in 5 minutes. I sigh and start walking, the classroom is huge and the door is in the back, so I won't disturb anyone by sneaking in a few minutes late.

I have trouble focusing in class. I feel guilty when I hope that Pete is have as hard of time focusing as I am.


	19. Chapter 19

Waiting. His class was over half an hour ago, he'd be here soon… What if he decided to just go home, would he call to tell me? What if he was still upset with me, it didn't sound like it when we talked last night… But what if he was. What if he decided that I was too crazy, and didn't want to be with me anymore... I looked down, I had a text book open on my lap on the pretense of reading… But really I had just opened the book up randomly and haven't read a word on the pages in front of me. The lock on my door clicks, it seems to echo through the room. I had planned on staying seated, I didn't want to seem too eager, but I couldn't stop myself from jumping up and rushing to meet him. He pulled me in and held me tightly, I could feel his breath on my neck and he buried his face in my hair.

"I'm sorry," I say again, "I missed you." It sounds silly, we weren't even apart for 24 hours… I can't survive without him. We hold each other for a long time, then he gives me a kiss and rests his forehead on mine, "That was the stupidest fight ever," He says. And I can't help but laugh and agree. I briefly tell him that I had gone to see the campus nurse and that I'd start taking birth control. He nods, then looks at me, "I do want to have kids someday." I start to say something but he holds up a hand to stop me, and he continues, "But if you don't, then I respect that." He's just reiterating that he wouldn't try to knock me up on the sly. I nod and he gives me another kiss. He takes my hand and we walk into the living room and he sets his bag on the floor.

"I passed by Jo on the way up. She told me that she was going to drag you out this Saturday, whether you wanted to or not."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't really want to."

"You should, I'll be stuck in front of the computer all morning, then I have a study group meeting set for three. I don't know how long it'll be."

Study group? Pete's not allowed to socialize with anyone except me… Ok, that's being greedy.

"I organized a study group of a few others taking the MCATs this spring, it's our first meeting… We'll see how it goes, I know one of the guys from class, but the other two just replied to the post."

I panicked, "They're coming here?"

"No," He says with a small chuckle, "I thought it better to meet in a library… I wouldn't invite people over to your place without asking… especially strangers."

Duh. Of course they wouldn't come here.

"You should go out with Jo, have a girls night."

A girls night? I've never had a girls night in all my life, unless playing Clue with my Mom and sister counts.

I just shrug, "Maybe." I don't think I will, I'd be happier lounging around in sweatpants.

Pete and I start to settle into our usual after school routine, he gets settled in the den and I get situated back on my sofa with my book and a fresh glass of whiskey (a slight buzz helps drown out the "outside" world), unlike when I was waiting for Pete, I am now able to focus on the text. I pull out my notebook, pen and highlighter. I like to mark up most of my text books; unlike some of my classmates, I plan on keeping my text books.

I'm a few pages into the chapter I'm supposed to write a paper on, I hear a pounding coming from somewhere but pay it little mind, I start making a note in the margin about a paragraph that I want to put a lot of emphasis on.

"Do you want me to answer the door?"

I give a little jump as I look up, Pete's standing there waiting for my answer. I blink a few times then hear a knocking at the door.

"Oh… I'll get it."

I unbury myself from my book and notebook and stand up.

I open the door and see Jo.

"Jeez, what took so long? Were you guys having sex or something?"

"Hi to you too. What's up?"

"Come on, we're smoking at Gale's," She says and tries to grab my arm to pull me out.

"I'm reading, and I don't want to go to Gale's."

"Gale promised to not be an Ass. Come on, take a break, besides tomorrows Friday."

She says that like it's the weekend already.

I finally agree and follow her out after grabbing my drink and telling Pete that I'll be right back.

Gale's apartment hasn't changed much. Finn and Gale are sitting on his couch, and I see Tom sitting in a folding chair.

"Hey Kat, long time," Tom says to me.

"Yeah, how've you been?" I ask, as if I really had an interest.

He could probably see my lack-of-interest.

"Fine," He answers. I sat down in another folding chair and Jo squeezed between Finn and Gale.

Tom was preparing a blunt, which means that it's pretty unlikely that I'll study any more today.

"My birthdays on Saturday," Jo announces, "I'll finally be able to use my real ID when I go out. 21 bitches!"

"Congratulations, happy early birthday," I tell her.

"So I've been telling everyone to meet at Jack's Saturday night. That includes you, little hermit."

I know that's directed at me and I roll my eyes.

"Don't even try to tell me you have something better to do. Going out and partying is much better than sitting around playing house."

Another eye roll, "I don't play house. I'm trying to keep up with my classes, if I keep on at this rate I can graduate a semester early."

"OK smarty pants, doesn't mean you can ignore my birthday. I plan on mooching a ride off of you, and you need to buy me at least a drink."

The blunt is finished and Tom sparks it.

"So how is Pete doing… I must say I have an increased respect for him after New Year's. He _almost_ beat me in the keg stand. I don't think I could've lived with myself, letting a geek beat me in drinking."

"He's not a geek," I say as I take the blunt from Tom.

"Uh, excuse me, although he is most assuredly a hot sexy stud muffin, anyone who majors in Physics _is_ a geek," Jo says.

I exhale in her direction and give her a death glare as I take another deep hit.

"So, when are you two going to stop playing house and get married?"

I start hacking on my hit, smoke spewing out with each cough. I pass the blunt to Finn while trying to get control of my breathing again, my throat searing in pain from the mass amounts of smoke that I must have inhaled wrong.

When I finally can get a steady breath, Jo smirks and asks, "Sensitive topic?"

"We aren't playing house or getting married."

"Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't been practicing signing his last name, I'd have a notebook full if I were dating him."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Jo."

The topic is dropped as the blunt circles around the group. The guys talk amongst themselves. My whiskey burns my still raw throat, but I need something to do with my hands when I don't have the blunt, Oh, here it comes again.

"So," Jo starts again, "Why don't you want to marry the future doctor, Perfect Pete?"

Agghh, I'm too stoned to answer these questions… Maybe she'll forget she asked me…. I stay silent.

"OK then." I faintly hear Jo say.

"So," Finn says, "Moving out end of next month, Gale?"

Phew, I'd finally be able to smoke on my balcony without the fear of him being there.

"Yeah, I'm actually getting a house. Rory is going to be going to Normandale next fall, so he'll be living with me." Normandale is a community college here, and I'm assuming Rory is a little brother.

"He can't be graduating already," Tom says in disbelief.

"Oh yeah he is. Just barely according to my Mom. She's hoping I'll help straighten him out."

This causes everyone (but me) to burst into laughter. Instead, I just take another drink.

"Well, we'll have to have a few parties there before little brother moves in," Finn says.

Gale shrugs, "Yeah. It'll be like living in a mansion after this place."

"Speaking of mansions," Finn turns to me, "Jo told me that your Uncle is Cornelius Snow."

What? What does my Uncle have to do with mansions? Besides the obvious fact that he can buy one. Anyway, when did I tell Jo that? It's not really something I talk about. I look over at Jo, "How'd you know."

"Uh, you told me brainless. A few months ago, you mentioned that he lived in New York and hated your guts."

That's an understatement.

"My ecology club was talking about him," Finn told me.

"Wait, you're in ecology club?" Gale asked laughing.

"Yeah, it'll look good on my resume… Anyway, that were saying that this Cornelius Snow guy was a big part of this oil spill cover up, he should've been sentenced to jail time but bought his way out. It's been a big deal. A lot of people are pissed off at him."

There was an awkward pause and I realized that they are expecting me to say something about my evil Uncle, "Yeah, I'm not surprised, he's an evil guy who likes to do evil things," is all I can think of to say.

"Do you talk to him?" Finn asks.

I snort, "What part of "he hates my guts" don't you get?"

"Well, wasn't he your guardian?"

"Yeah on paper. I've only seen him twice in my life. He's a total ass… I haven't heard from him since I graduated, he gave me some money and I probably pissed him off because I donated half a mill to the National and Colorado State Parks under his name… I imagine that didn't go over to well with him, seeing as he hates living things... So no, he doesn't fly in for Sunday dinners or routinely call for a heart to heart talk." He'd need a heart for that.

"You donated five hundred thousand dollars," Tom asked slowly. Everyone was staring at me. Why did I tell them the amount, seriously?

"Well I didn't want his money". Well not _all _of it any way, now I feel guilty for keeping the rest of his gift.

"Jeez, I knew you were rich but…seriously you give away that kind of money!" Jo looks dumbfounded.

"Yeah, there's the silver lining of having dead parents… The life insurance policies and early inheritance. Gee, I've never felt so lucky," I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm, "New topic?"

After a moment of silence, I decided that I had felt awkward enough and didn't need this any more, blunt was done and I was too stoned to study. Now all I wanted to do was take a long bath, and curl up on the sofa with a drink and watch a movie, maybe I could convince Pete to join me.

"Alright, well I'll head out… See you later," I say as I stand up.

"See you on Saturday. You _are_ going," Jo called to me as I was nearing the door.

As the door closes, I'm sure that they are talking about me. Whatever.

I close the door a little louder than I intended. I feel so angry at them for making me think about this shit. I don't like to think about my Uncle, I don't need to hear how evil he is, I already know. I wouldn't be surprised if he put puppies in his furnace to heat his house. Can't he just die already, then I'll never have to hear about him again. Why did I bring him up to Jo, I don't even remember talking about it, stupid drugs and alcohol.

I go outside for a cigarette, my hand shaking as I try to light it. I lean against the railing looking out, everything is a dull grayish color. Parts of the brown grass show through the dirty snow and the roads are filled with disgusting slush. I hate this time of year, everything looks dead. I sigh. A pair of strong arms circle around me, I lean back into him and close my eyes. I'm surprised when my eyes start burning, like I'm going to cry. Why? Why would I start crying? Just because I had to talk about my stupid evil Uncle who hated me. My only living family member who wanted nothing to do with me, who ignored me after his niece, my mother, had died.

"Are you OK?" Pete asks. I feel two tears roll down my cheek, I stop any more from following those two rogue tears, I won't cry any more, I won't.

I sniff, "Yeah."

"Did he say something to you?" He asks. It takes me a moment to realize who he's talking about, he think that Gale did or said something asshole-ish again.

I shook my head no, "Finn had heard something about my Uncle… I don't like talking or thinking about him." I hate it actually.

He turns me around, takes my cigarette and flicks it towards the ashtray, then he pulls me in for a hug.

I feel more tears threatening to fall, but I try to focus on Pete's smell. He smells like cinnamon. When he's studying he likes to eat Hot Tamales, he had bought a 5 (FIVE) pound bag at Costco a few weeks ago. I had no idea candy came in bags that big, what's even more surprising is that the bag is almost half gone.

I feel a lot calmer after Pete holding me, just one of the many amazing things he can do to me. After my bath I am able to convince him to watch a movie with me.

I was just starting to doze off somewhere around the middle of the movie, when my phone started buzzing.

"Unavailable," The caller ID says.

I answer it.

"Hello?"

"Is this Miss. Katniss Everdeen?" A male voice asks.

"Yes, who is this."

"This is Detective Louis Stratler of the NYPD." What? NYPD, New York Police Department… Uncle Snow, this has to be about him. Oh crap what if they want me to testify against him in court or something.

"OK," I say since he had paused.

"I'm calling about a Mr. Cornelius Snow, is he a relation of yours."

I bite my tongue to keep from scoffing, "Yes, my great Uncle."

"Yes, I have down here that he was your guardian."

"Yes," I say stiffly. Another pause, "Can I ask what this is about."

"I am sorry to have to tell you this, but it seems that Mr. Snow has been murdered."


	20. Chapter 20

My mind blanks out. He's dead. I feel an odd mix of emotions, first is disbelief (after all Monty Burns on "The Simpsons" defies mortality and the serial killers in horror movies never _really _die. It's the evil ones that just won't die), then a slight curiosity as to who-done-it (who wouldn't?), and a tiny amount of sadness (he was the only family I had, after all). However, any amount of sadness was pushed out of my being as I thought "Bastard had it coming to him", I thankfully did not say this to Detective Stratler, instead I let out a sharp "Ha!".

After a long silence the Detective continues, "You live in Minneapolis, correct."

"Yes."

"And attend the University there?"

"Yes." If he already knows it why is he asking? What am I supposed to do? As the last living relative am I going to be expected to arrange a funeral? No Freaking Way. I'm not going to attend his funeral, let alone plan it. I'd only go there to dance on his grave, and he's not even worth that.

"Were you in Minneapolis last night?"

"Yes," I answer a bit slower, do they think I had something to do with this?

"All night?"

"Yes."

"Can anybody confirm this?"

"Um, yeah… Why?"

"Standard procedure, Miss. I am actually in town right now and was hoping I could stop by."

Wh-wh-what?! Did he come all the way here to see me?!

"I-I guess so, why?"

"Just standard procedure. I have a few more questions for you. I can be there in an hour," He rattled my address off and asked me to confirm, which I did. I was very unnerved at how much they knew about, it seemed like it was just basic demographic information, but still…

After he hangs up I turn around to face the living room. Pete had stood up and was watching me, "What's going on?"

Where do I start?

"My Uncle, is dead." This is really happening, he's really dead. "Murdered."

Pete is shocked into silence, which is saying something. I need to tell him the rest though, "A Detective is coming here to talk to me, he'll be here in an hour."

"What? Why?"

"I dunno. He said it was standard procedure… I am his last living relative, maybe it's because of that."

Or they think that I killed him. Why did I laugh after he told me… At least it wasn't a prolonged and malicious laugh. I shouldn't let myself over think this, I have nothing to hide… except my illegal drug use, Shit. I break out of my thoughts and go to take a shower, to get the smoke smell off me. At least it's been a few hours, but damn-it I'm still stoned. I should have said 2 hours or tomorrow. I wash my face and brush my teeth. There at least I know I won't smell like weed. I take just a small bump of coke to steady my nerves and focus my mind. Shit, what if he wants to search the place… I hide my stash the best I can, taped under the bathroom counter. I dry my hair and change into clean clothes.

Pete has made a pot of hot chocolate and offers me a mug when I come out. I accept it gratefully. He motions me to sit down on the sofa, but first I tuck the whiskey bottle out of sight.

Pete sits next to me, "Do you want me to stay?" He asks.

Was he thinking about leaving?!

My head starts nodding furiously before my mouth has the chance to say, "Yes."

"Do they know what happened?" He asks me.

I shake my head no. My mind feels like it's in a fog, and the high from earlier isn't helping. I can't process all of this right now. I feel a loss inside me, even though he was a horrible person he was still related to me. At least he didn't leave me to be a ward of the state, he gave me a place to live. Another death in my family…I'm all alone now.

Pete starts rubbing my back rhythmically. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath. I'm not alone, for once I'm not alone.

Two sharp knocks on the door. My breath catches in my throat, I stand and my feet start moving towards the door. I open the door, a middle-aged man dressed in a black overcoat button up top and slacks stands there, "Miss. Everdeen?"

"Yes."

"I'm Detective Stratler," He shows a badge to me, "May I come in?"

"Yes." I open the door wider and he walks through.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me," He says as he walks down the hall, I can see his eyes taking everything in. Not much to look at, apart from books.

I don't respond to that, it didn't seem like I had a choice.

"Hello, I'm Pete Mellark," Pete had stood up and shook the Detective's hand.

"Detective Stratler, NYPD." Then he turns to me, "Is there a place we can talk in private, Miss. Everdeen?"

"I'd rather Pete stay."

"It's alright, Katniss. I have some more reading to do, I'll stay in the den," He kissed my temple and squeezed my hand.

I motion to the armchair, "You can have a seat."

"Thank you," he sits down, his eyes roam over the books sitting on the coffee table.

"History?"

"Anthropology."

"Ah."

Silence.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, thank you."

I stand up, feeling so awkward, "Um, water, coffee…hot chocolate." Did I just offer hot chocolate to a police officer, God this is weird.

He surprises me when he asks for the hot chocolate.

I try to focus on my breathing while I fill a mug. When I return to the living room he has his eyes trained on my bookshelf. I wonder if he's expecting to find a book titled "How To Murder Your Uncle". No, I shouldn't jump to these conclusions. Though I not be sad in the least bit over his death, I'm sure that there are people who are literally celebrating his death.

I set the mug in front of him on the coffee table then take my spot on the sofa. He takes a long sip from his mug, "Mm, that is delicious."

"What can I do for you, Detective," I ask, I make an effort to try not to sound rude. He hasn't told me anything yet, just that my Uncle was murdered, and he's just sitting in _my _apartment like this a social call.

"Well, as I said on the phone. Your Great Uncle was found dead, and we've ruled it as a homicide."

"Yeah," I say with a slight indifferent shrug, "Why did you come here though? We weren't close… I've only seen him a couple times."

"It's just procedure to visit close family members, we have you as his _only _blood relative actually… Then we say his file on you and wanted to check some things out."

"My file?" He had a _file_ on me… for what?

"From when he was my guardian?" I ask, maybe records of the expense of "caring" for me, he probably tried to claim it as "charity" on his taxes.

"Well some of it was about that, but he also had quite a bit of recent information… It appears that he hired a private detective."

"W-why?" He hired someone to follow me, I lean back into the sofa back. I wish I could have a drink. God, how I need a fucking drink. At least I can have a cigarette.

"Maybe he just wanted to check up on his charge."

I usually try to open the windows or step outside when I smoke, but that's not an option right now, I wouldn't trust myself to walk right now. I fumble slightly with my pack of cigarettes that had been in my back pack.

After my first drag I exhale slowly, "What kind of information was in it?"

"Just some basic information… He had pictures and your transcripts for school." I can tell he's watching my reaction, "Did something happen to make you lose contact with him? A falling-out of sorts?"

I shook my head in slight disbelief, "He took me in when I was 13, but I never saw him. He always stayed in New York. He funded my housing situation from when I was 13 to 18, but that's it. I don't know why he would _want _this information about me… He never showed an interest in me, besides that once when he wanted me to go to Yale…"

"You two had a disagreement over your choice of school?" He asks and writes something down. I feel panicky, what is he writing.

"Well, no not really… he just showed up once senior year in high school, he knew the dean of admissions… But it's not like it was an argument. He didn't bring it up again… I didn't see him again, and I had only seen him once before that… I didn't think he cared."

"We found information about Mr. Mellark as well."

My cigarette is nearing the end as I take a drag off of it.

"That doesn't make sense… what would be the point? I mean we basically severed whatever ties we had."

"It shows he gave you a large gift two years ago."

"Yes. After I graduated… I gave a portion of it away," I don't really see what this has to do with everything, "So, what happened to him?"

I gives me a long look, "It appears to be a professional hit. A single gun shot wound in the back of his head… Do you know many people in New York, Miss. Everdeen."

"I've never been there, I didn't know anyone who lived there, except for my Uncle…and I don't think he counts any more… So, I'm not sure what exactly you are expecting me to tell you.."

"It's standard procedure in a murder case to first question those that stand to benefit from the death."

I think for a moment, "But his death doesn't affect me at all, we weren't close… I don't have an interest in it one way or another, he was as good as dead to me a long time ago."

"You stand to benefit from the inheritance."

I laugh out loud, "Sorry for the language but that's bullshit, he wouldn't leave me anything. He probably has it set up so everything goes to some secret evil organization run by a guy called Dr. Claw, or something."

Detective Stratler isn't as amused by this as I am.

"It's not my place to say what exactly his will holds, but I can guarantee, Miss. Everdeen that you are in it. I would think that since you are his last blood relative, it would be obvious."

I'm left speechless.

"So, you said that you were here in town last night."

"Yes, I haven't left town for a while."

"And you mentioned that someone could verify your whereabouts."

"Yes, my boyfriend," I was almost going to say that he was here all night, but then I remember that he wasn't, "He left about 11 o'clock last night."

"Did anyone see you after that?"

"Well, no… I mean I went onto campus at 7, to the student health center," I say. Then start silently begging, please don't ask why, please don't ask why.

"So no one is able to verify your whereabouts between 11 pm and 7 am."

I feel flustered, "Well, no…But, I live in a different state. I didn't drive or fly to New York and back in 8 hours!"

"This is just standard procedure, Miss," He starts writing in his little notebook, "And anyway, like I said this was a professional hit, we're just looking into all suspects that would have the means to hire a hit."

There is a very pregnant silence. Then he stands up, "Well, Miss. Everdeen. I've been told that the reading of the will is going to be in a week. I recommend you being there. At that time we can get more detailed questions answered."

"I have class! I can't just drop everything because of him."

"I'm sure your professors will understand, if we need to we can wait until the court hearing and force you to come with a subpoena, but that wouldn't look good on your part. I would suggest coming on your own free will. If you are cooperative and nothing further incriminates you, it shouldn't take more than a few days."

He got up and bid me good bye, adding, "I hope that I will see you soon, Miss. Everdeen."

The door closed behind him.

I was a suspect for my Uncle's murder, just because he put me in his will? What did he leave me? Dirty socks?

Pete was standing in the doorway to the den. The walls between aren't exactly sound proof, I hope that he was listening, because I don't think I could repeat all of that. He opens his arms for me and I rush into them.

What am I going to do?


	21. Chapter 21

Friday morning I went into my advisor and told him that I had to go to New York, my Uncle, who was my only family, had been murdered and there were legal matters that needed to be seen to. I had told her that I hoped to be back to classes by Wednesday morning. She had been understanding, and agreed to sign for it as long as I got permission from my Professors. Two of them wanted me to check in online and download the lesson, but the rest just handed me whatever assignments or reading material was going to be assigned that day.

I only had two classes on Fridays, which I couldn't pay attention in. I sat in the back of the room and googled "Cornelius Snow". Several articles showing him at different events, there were a few articles about the oil spill and the scandal behind it, there were also some blogs about it. After reading one of the blogs I remembered what Finn had said about there being a lot of people angry at him, that was an understatement, some of these people were down right livid at his very existence, now former existence. There was another man, a congressman, Seneca Crane that was also involved in the scandal, he had been asked to "retire" after his involvement was discovered . Both Snow and Crane and escaped jail time, despite the wishes of many environmentalists. The articles about his death are what interest me the most. They hold more information than Stratler had wanted to share. The housekeeper had heard a noise when she was on her way to bed Wednesday night, she looked in and found Snow at his desk in the library, hunched over his desk. It's suspected that the shooter was on the roof of the building next-door, and had shot through the window that was right behind his desk. According to the article, the police are currently looking at all possible suspects, but so far they are just "persons of interest".

I had to cancel on Jo for her birthday, when I gave my reason she said, "Jeez, Kat you didn't have to kill to get out of coming."

Ha, ha.

I tossed clothes into a suitcase, not paying too much attention to what I pack. Everything feels so surreal.

Pete had insisted coming up for the weekend with me, and I was to desperate scared to go alone. He will still be able to do his prep-course from the hotel, and he'll still be studying, but just having him physically with me is reassuring, reminding me that I am not alone.

Our flight leaves at 7 tonight. Pete is returning Sunday at 5, but I hadn't bought my return ticket yet. Uncle's lawyer is going to read the will at 2 o'clock on Tuesday. Hopefully I can be back by Tuesday evening. I had called Detective Stratler and set up a "meeting" for Saturday morning. I wanted to know more about this "file" he had on me. Why would he care?

The direct flight to LaGuardia airport was about two and a half hours. Pete held my hand and we tried to hold a normal conversation and act like nothing was wrong. For a moment it almost felt like Pete and I were just on our way to a vacation together. Then I would remember the "meeting" I had tomorrow. Sigh, this was going to be hell.

We got a hotel in the middle of the Upper East Side, which was ridiculously expensive, but the police station was just nine blocks away and the lawyer's office was not far from that, so the convenience over powered the cost.

We got to our room and set out bags down. I feel anxious, I doubt I'll get any sleep tonight. Actually being _here _makes it more real. I mumble that I needed to take a shower, before I could turn away from him, Pete takes hold of my hand and looked into my eyes, "Everything is going to be fine, Katniss." He had told me this several times already. Whenever he says it, I _almost_ believe him.

He closes the space between us and rests his forehead against mine.

"I love you," He says.

I close my eyes, "I love you."

He brings his lips to mine and wraps me up in a strong hold with his arms. The tension that had been building up over the past 24 hours releases. As I relax into the comfort that his arms and lips bring me, his kisses turn hungrier and my body reacts immediately. When his kisses leave my mouth and travel down my neck, I reach for the hem of his shirt and start pulling it up, he pulls his lips off my neck for the second it takes him to finish removing his shirt. I start walking backwards pulling him with me towards the bathroom and then the shower, leaving our worries and our clothes behind us. The water runs down our bodies and Pete pushes me up against the shower wall, his hands slide down my body and cup my ass and lift me up, I wrap my legs around his waist and my hands grab his shoulders before running up his neck and into his hair. When he enters me my arms wrap around his neck and shoulders, he holds me steady and thrusts into me going deeper and deeper. The feeling of the warm water and his hot kisses makes me feel euphoric, surely this is the only thing that is real. His mouth finds mine and thrusts in deeper inside me, he groans into my mouth as he reaches his orgasm. He makes small pulses as he empties inside me, I throw my head back breaking the kiss, and my head slams into the shower wall, but I don't even feel the pain, my mind is busy focusing on the amazingly good feeling radiating through my body.

We both hold on to one another for a moment, catching our breath. He twitches his hips and pulls out, then lowers me to my feet.

After washing each others bodies off, I became mesmerized by the way the bubbles slid down his torso, trailing the last of the bubbles with my hands, it was driving Pete insane. He turned the water off and picked me up and carried me to the bed.

I fell asleep in his arms, naked with my wet hair still tangled up in knots. I felt so secure in his arms.

I tried not to overthink, as I got ready to go to the police station. I spent a good 30 minutes brushing out the stubborn knots last night escapades had brought on. I had unknowingly put my gray sweater on backwards, it wasn't until I was braiding my hair that I noticed it. Pete and I got some coffee from a shop right beside the hotel, he grabbed some type of pastry but my stomach was too knotted up to eat anything. He whispered reassurances in my ear before we kissed goodbye. Though the police station was only a few blocks away, I had the doorman hail a cab for me, I had felt so absent minded this morning that I didn't trust myself with directions. I'd probably end up in Brooklyn.

The police station was depressing. A dull tile covered the floor and the florescent lights gave everything an unnatural hue. I walked up to the front desk, a lady with short mouse colored hair was talking on the phone. She hung up a minute later and looked at me.

"I'm here to see Detective Stratler. I'm Katniss Everdeen." After filling out a quick form, she told me to wait.

I sat on a wooden bench and waited. People shuffled past me, they took as little notice of me as I did of them, I focused on my hands that were folded in my lap.

"Miss. Everdeen," Detective Stratler's voice calls to me, after several minutes of waiting.

I stand, he extends him hand, wanting to shake mine. I numbly allow it. He motions for me to follow.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice. I'm sure you have a busy schedule." He leads the way into a large room filled with desks, then down a short hallway and into a room. I look around, three blank brick walls and one with a mirror. A metal table with four chairs is the only furniture in the room… This interrogation room. I start to feel panicky. Should I have gotten a lawyer?

The Detective seems to pick up on my uneasiness, and says, "I thought it would be easier to talk in here, more privacy."

This does little to settle my nerves.

He sets a folder on the table and motions for me to sit across from him, which I do.

"Mr. Snow was a very rich man, as I'm sure you know."

I nod.

"He was your guardian?"

"Yes. My parents died when I was 13. He let me live in his house in Colorado."

"And he stayed here in New York."

"Yes, I didn't see him much."

"Must have made you angry, that he ignored you like that, being family and all..."

I look at him for a moment before answering, "I knew he didn't like me, so I wasn't surprised."

"Why would you think that he disliked you?"

"He didn't like my Dad. He had plans for my Mom to marry into politics… She was sort of "shunned" after their marriage. They never really talked about her family much, she made a few comments in passing, but I didn't know much about him…"I pause then add quietly, "I didn't expect him to take me in."

"But he did."

I nod.

"Well," Detective Stratler says after a short pause, "Mr. Snow did still value family-" He's cut short by my scoff. After a long look he continues, "We looked through his personal study and found several files, apart from yours. It appears he kept tabs on your Mother, not a lot of information… Just basics, her address and contact information, it shows she volunteered at the library twice a week and it makes a few mentions of travel plans."

"Travel plans?" I ask.

He shrugs, "Yes it only shows two… Perhaps because they were international… A flight to London 11 years ago, and one into Mexico for a honeymoon. Then he has mention of her husband, he had done a background check done."

"A back ground check?" What did he expect to find.

"Yes, he appears to have still have an interest in your Mother, perhaps because she was his only niece."

Another long look at me and then he continues, "He also makes mention of the birth of you and your sister, Primrose."

I sit there staring at the table.

"Then after you moved to Denver to live in his house, he kept a very detailed record of you. Every report card, everything you bought, your involvement with your school soccer team. His driver had even sent into weekly reports as to where and when he dropped you off and picked you up. Your car's GPS system let him know your movements after you turned 16."

"My movements?" I ask bleakly.

"Yes, it appears a few times your car went off the GPS grid, and he had hired someone to trail you… looks like it was just to some hiking trails."

I wanted to scream, all those times I went on my long hikes I had felt like I was free, like I was escaping something… But really he had been right there, the whole time.

"Can I have a glass of water please," I ask. My hands are clutching my empty coffee cup.

He doesn't move, he looks up at the mirror for a moment and gives a nod. Then he turns back to me.

"I'm sure this is surprising to you."

I don't give him any response. No shit it's surprising.

The door opens and a lady dressed in slacks and a button down green shirt sets a paper cup of water in front of me. I mumble a "Thank you." Before she leaves, probably to go back behind the mirror, watching me…Just like Uncle has been watching me, for apparently all my life.

"He seemed pleased with your school work," He tells me. Like that's supposed to make me feel better.

"A few months ago he made a large donation to the Smithsonian and made a few contacts there, looks like he was going to help open doors for you."

"He was trying to buy me a job at the Smithsonian?"

"Yes, looks like he had several meetings with the Director of the Washington D.C. location."

"He probably was already arranging for some Politician to take interest in me too," I spit out. I feel exposed… No, violated. What gave him the right? I felt so controlled, my decisions were my own, but he had been silently behind me watching and plotting.

"Mid-December he ran a back ground check on Mr. Mellark. It says you spent the holidays with him… He's your boyfriend?"

I can't even answer him, he _knew_ I was with his family for Christmas?!

"How could he know all this? Did he have me followed all the way to their house?"

"The P.I. just made mention that you had taken suitcases and gotten into his car… Looks like he tracked Mr. Mellark's car with a tracking device."

"Wh-What?

"He probably just slipped something underneath his car at some time. It's fairly simple to do actually."

"What all did he say about Pete?"

"There wasn't much, just family information, looks like he was in boy-scouts for a few years, two speeding tickets when he was 17. In the Honors Program at the University, graduation date set for next spring."

"Can I see my file?" I ask.

"It's part of our investigation right now… When the case is closed, if he's lawyers allow it, you can retrieve it then."

Another pause in our conversation, I take a long sip of my water.

"When was the last contact you had with Mr. Snow?"

I need only a second to think before answering, "I got a graduation card from him when I graduated. I last saw him the November before."

"When you refused his choice of school."

I nod, "I wanted to go to UMN like my Dad."

He nodded while reading something in the file, "That was the last you saw him?"

I nod again.

"Did you ever come here to New York?"

I shake my head no, then add with a cross between a smirk and a grimace, "He'd know it if I did."

"Yes, I'm sure he would have," Stratler says without looking up, he reads a bit more, then sets the file down and looks at me, "Well, we have a few different suspect possibilities… You are the only individual recognized in his will, and financially speaking, you have the most to gain."

"I never wanted his money," I tell him, "I don't need it either, I have enough to live comfortably already." I'm not trying to brag, I just want him to understand.

"I thank you for taking the time to come visit. We'll be in touch."

That's it? I'm hesitant to ask, "Will you need anything else from me?"

"We'll be in touch," He repeats.

"I'm planning on leaving after meeting with his lawyer on Tuesday."

"We have your contact information in Minneapolis, we'll call you if we need anything further. Let us know of any travel plans."

I say that I would. I leave feeling lighter, that was it! I had spent hours worrying about this "meeting", and it was over now. Now I just had to stay and listen to some stuffed-shirt lawyer read off Uncle Snow's will and testament, then I could go home and (hopefully), put it all behind me.

I decided to take the walk back to the hotel, the streets were crowded with cars and the sidewalks were crowded with people. I let my mind wander as I watched the people around me, wealthy society ladies tottering around in fur coats and ridiculously high heeled boots, business men and women with black suits with black overcoats, their eyes glued to their smart phone. A young man with six dogs jogged passed. As I pass by a liquor store, I make a quick decision and slip in. I don't even get carded when I buy a bottle of top shelf whiskey (hey, I'm celebrating. I was scared I'd be behind bars or something).

Pete's sitting on the bed with his laptop sitting in front of him, his notebook on his lap. He's in the middle of his MCAT prep-course. He looks up and smiles at me, "Everything OK?"

I nod, and give him a kiss, "I'll leave right after I meet with the lawyer on Tuesday."

I order some brunch from room service, along with a bucket of ice.

After stuffing my face with cheese pastries and fresh fruit, I pour some ice and whiskey in a glass (I notice Pete giving me a disapproving glance, it is only eleven o'clock), then I draw up a hot bath and soak while sipping my drink down.

I sit there until my drink is gone and the bath water is cool. I wrap a fluffy towel around me and crawl into bed next to Pete. I listen to the monotone voice coming from his computer (his instructor for the course) for a while before it lulls me to sleep.

Pete wakes me up three hours later, asking if I wanted to do something.

The concierge desk recommended a nice Italian restaurant on the south side of Central Park. Pete and I decide to talk a walk through the park and then stop in for an early dinner. Both of us want to get to bed early.

As we slowly get ready to go, I start filling Pete in on my recent discoveries. Mostly talking about the "files" Uncle had been keeping.

"Sounds like he wanted to make sure everything was OK," Pete reasoned. I was more upset over the fact that Uncle had ran a background check on him than he was. He laughed when I mentioned what they had found.

"That's some pretty incriminating stuff there," He joked.

"It was wrong of him to do," I say shaking my head. I feel horrible that he had someone tracking his car and poking in to his life, just because of me.

"Look at it this way, Katniss. He cared enough to make sure you weren't with some psycho. He was looking out for you."

"Yeah and planning my life for me too."

"He sounds like he was one who needed the control."

I roll my eyes at that gross understatement. We leave the hotel at 4:30, and walk the block and a half to one of the park entrances.

Walking through the large park, it's amazing that we're still in the overcrowded city. I wish it was spring time, even with Pete's arm around me the wind still burns my cheeks and I can feel the cold through my wool coat. We keep a brisk pace for the most of the walk. By the time we reach the restaurant, my cheeks are numb. The meal was delicious, they let us order a bottle of wine without carding us. The deep bodied red wine warms us from the inside out. Even though we had both stuffed ourselves full, we still had large portions in our take-away bags. Both of us are foggy headed from finishing off the bottle of wine between us (mostly me) and having overfull stomachs. Pete hails us a taxi cab and we're soon back in our hotel room. Pete puts the food in our mini fridge and I strip off my clothes and pull on a long night shirt and crawl into bed. I was asleep moments later. What a freakin' day.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Over a hundred reviews! So excited that everyone seems to be enjoying the story, hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

On Sunday, I kissed Pete goodbye right before he got into a cab to go to the airport. Then return to my room, unsure what to do with myself, I nervously paced the hotel room. Was the lawyer going to have any more information as to why Uncle cared so much as to have me followed? Detective Stratler had mentioned that Uncle was "pleased with my school work". For some reason that just made my blood boil, I _hated _that he knew about my GPA. My GPA that I _had_ been proud of, until now. Now I want to drop out of school and isolate myself. Maybe I could move north and get a cabin in the middle of nowhere, spend the rest of my days with nature and my books. I pour a drink but it does little to cool my mind. I stop pacing, and stare blankly out the window. It's getting close to dusk now. Without thinking, I stuff my ATM card in my back pocket with my room key. I go downstairs to the ATM in the lobby, I withdraw $200. Tucking the cash in my front pocket, I take the walk down to Central Park. I know there has to be someone here who has what I want. I see a young guy with a beanie hat and a navy sport coat sitting on a bench with a back pack, an older man in a nice black over coat is sitting with him. The older man shortly gets up and walks away, leaving the younger. I steel my nerves and go and sit on the bench and look at the guy.

"Can I help you?" He asks, barely looking at me.

"What do you have?"

"What do you want?" He asks rather sharply, he's not one to mess around.

"Eight ball and a bit of grass."

"A spliff with an eightball will be $180."

Rip-off.

I take a 20 off my wad of cash and hand the rest over.

I didn't even seen him reach into his back pack, but as soon as I hand him the cash there's a little bag of white powder and a large spliff in my hand. I stick it in my coat pocket and stand up and walk away, not looking back at the guy.

It's not until I get back in my hotel room that I feel guilty. It was pretty stupid to walk alone, as a young women, into Central Park near dark, and then seek out a drug dealer. Anything could have happened. Pete would probably be upset over my stupidity.

I pull my purchase out of my pocket… But nothing did happen, I was fine, I didn't get mugged, murdered or raped.

On the bathroom counter I use my ATM card to scoop out a bit of the powder. I break it up a bit more, then line it up, just a short line, I just want to test it, and I'll save the rest for tomorrow and Tuesday. I wipe the excess off my card and taste it, rubbing some on my gums. It tastes like good stuff. I snort up the line quickly. It's good stuff, better than I get from Boggs back home, much better. I should have just taken a bump instead of a line. I down some whiskey and feel my face turn numb. Shit, this is good stuff. I put the sack in the desk drawer; I know it'll be hard not to take any more tonight, so it'll be best if it's not sitting out in the open staring at me.

I finish an assignment for one of my classes and e-mail it to my teacher, then with nothing else to do with my hands, I start shredding a box of tissues, I have a pile of little pieces in front of me before I realize it.

I felt my buzz withering out, I poured another drink. My phone buzzed that I had a text. It was Pete, he was just getting home. God how I missed him already, he helped keep me sane. I text him back, but don't tell him about my visit to Central Park. I don't want him to think that I can't handle myself, just because he's gone.

I slid the window open a few inches, which was a far as it was open. Then I light up the spliff, it had probably an eighth of an ounce packed in it, it was huge. After taking a few hits I put it out, I couldn't smoke any more. My mind is successfully off the white powder hiding in the desk, so the weed did its job.

I must have passed out sometime, because I wake up in bed. After dragging myself up and brushing my teeth and washing my face, my eyes land on the desk drawer my stash is in.

"Eat something first, Katniss," I tell myself.

I decide to go to the restaurant off of the lobby, I bring my Cultural Development of Language text book with me, it's one of my smaller text books and I can set it on the corner of the table while I'm eating.

The waiter crinkled his nose when I set my book on the table next to my plate, I'm sure it's a faux pas, but I couldn't care less.

I order black coffee and a vegetarian omelet with a side of fruit. I leave over half the food on my plate and sign the check to my room number. The omelet was good, I don't think that it's worth the $34.00 that I paid for it though.

As I make my way back up to my room, I start thinking about meeting with the lawyer tomorrow. Detective Stratler had mentioned that I was the only individual listed on his will. I had always had enough money to be comfortable, never needing anything. But was I about to inherit millions? Or billions? The thought is exciting, but I can't wrap my mind around it yet. Plus, would I want his money?

I log in to my Evolutionary Biology class and pick up the newest assignment. The rest of Monday trickles by. After talking a line of coke, I decide that I need to go for a walk, I need to move. I stop in a few shops near the hotel and pick up some little things, the shops are gorgeous. The Anthropologie store is amazing, I wonder around the three story store for almost an hour before finally trying stuff on. I wish I could decorate my apartment like this store. I start thinking about the special white powder waiting for me back at the hotel, and that's what makes me hurry back, shopping bags slung over each arm.

The next day my nerves hit me, today was my meeting with the lawyer. I hadn't gotten to sleep last night till close to 3 in the morning, damn coke. I get dressed, brush my teeth, brush and braid my hair, take a good size line and walk out the door.

I arrived at the lawyer, Brutus Gunn's office 10 minutes early. When the elevator doors opened on the 31st floor, I was blinded at first. Everything was white, white floors, white walls, and white furniture. In sharp contrast, the lady sitting behind the white desk had raven black hair and had a bright red blouse that matched her red lips. I could feel her eyes surveying me, taking in my appearance, from my fitted blazer jacket over my silk blouse to my new pointed toe flats.

"May I help you?"

"I'm here to see Mr. Gunn. I'm Katniss Everdeen."

"Oh," Her expression changed, "Yes, he is expecting you." She stood up and walked around her desk, her black pencil skirt hugged her hips and her sky high black heels put her at over 6 feet tall. Waking behind her I couldn't stop staring at the silver patterned tights that covered her legs, they seemed to have rhinestones sewed in, they caught the bright white light with every step she took.

She brought me through two white double doors and motioned to a white leather sofa that sat across from two white leather chairs, "Have a seat, he'll be with you shortly."

I sat down on the sofa and looked around, there were four white doors leading off this room, apart from the door I came through. There are no windows and no decorations apart from a large white vase sitting in a corner. I try to shift around to get more comfortable, but despite the obvious expense of this white leather furniture, it is stiff and uncomfortable. I start fidgeting with the end of my braid.

Then three men dressed in solid black suits walked through the door. Two of them ignored me and continued to stand, fiddling with their phones, and the other looked at me for a moment then sat in a chair across from me.

He had been sitting for a few seconds, and though I wasn't looking at him (I was trying to appear interested in the blank white wall), I could tell he hadn't taken his eyes off me. Finally I look at him and meet his eyes.

"You must be the niece." It's not a question.

I don't answer. He must have known my Uncle, probably fairly well, they had the same creepy aura.

"He talked of you," The man tells me.

"That is surprising," I state simply, "I never heard him mention you." Or anyone.

He smirks, "Yes, I am sure he didn't talk to you about business much."

"He wasn't much of a conversationalist," I don't break his stare, "And your name?"

"Seneca Crane. Your Uncle and I had business dealings."

I raise my eye brows, "Yes, I heard about one of the recent "business dealings" you had with him. Most admirable."

It's then that he breaks eye contact and looks at the two men standing in the corner. I return to staring at the wall. A large group of 6 men and 2 ladies walk in, at the same moment one of the doors opens up. A man with peppered gray hair and a dark gray suit, his eyes land on me immediately, "Miss. Everdeen, will you please join me in my office." I felt like I was being called into the principal's office.

"Gentlemen and ladies, you can move to the conference room, my collegue will speak with you and I will join you in a while" He motions to another set of doors, at that second the lady from the front desk appears and opens the doors for them. They file in and I hear her ask if they want anything to drink.

I sit down in one of three chairs facing a large desk.

"I'm Brutus Gunn, it's a pleasure to meet you," He shakes my hand, his nails look manicured but his grip is cold. He walks around his desk and sits down.

The lady then stops at the still open door to his office.

"Would you like anything to drink, Miss. Everdeen?" I shake my head no.

She closes the doors.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me. I know you have a busy schedule at school."

"My advisor was understanding, I'm returning tonight."

He nods, then opens up a file.

"Well, first things first. Since you were his last living relative, Cornelius kept an eye on you."

My eyes narrow, and I bit my tongue to keep from saying, "Stalking is more like it."

His sharp eye must have caught my change in expression, because he chuckled a little, as if my situation was amusing. I don't think he'd like someone watching his every move.

"He wanted to make sure that his heir wouldn't be," He paused to think of the right word, "A loose cannon. He valued the blood ties that family has. Being unable to have children himself, he relied on his brother's, your Grandfather's, family. When his nephew was born he was very pleased, knowing someone would carry the family name."

My mind blanks, I remember my mom saying she was an only child.

"Arthur Cornelius Snow died at age 1 year from pneumonia. A few years later your Mother was born. Naturally he had been hoping for another boy, but was satisfied. You're Grandfather passed away from cancer when he was 43, never having any more children." Mr. Gunn pauses and flips through some pages again, then he pulls out a sealed envelope and hands it to me, "Cornelius asked this to be given to you… You may open it privately after our meeting."

I take the thin cream colored envelope; it couldn't contain more than a sheet of paper.

"He was quite upset over the death of his only niece."

"More upset than when she married my Dad?" I spit out. I feel so mad at Uncle now. He certainly didn't _act_ like he cared. He has no right to be upset over my Mother's death."

"He did wish her to marry better, but that didn't stop her from being his family. He took you in and saw that you had a good education. I believe you graduated with the top of your class, second in line for valedictorian… Yes, he was most pleased with your scholastic achievement thus far. He let you make your own decision for your college." I scoff, but he ignores me, "I show here that you are planning on graduating with honors in two years… Yes, he was very happy with your obvious level of intelligence. He had hopes of bringing you in on some of his business deals after you graduated, get you ready to take over his estate."

I would _never_ be involved with the type of business deals he had.

"Why did he feel the need to spy on me?" I blurt out.

"Spy?" He asks with a slight raise of his eyebrows, "He was merely keeping an eye on you."

"He ran a background check on my boyfriend and put a tracking device on his car, that goes a bit beyond "keeping an eye on me" I think."

"Ah, yes, Mr. Pete Mellark. He wanted to be sure that you were safe. He did the same for his niece. He knew that Mr. Mellark was the only boy you had taken a, serious, interest in. He had plans to get him placed in one of the top hospitals in D.C. when he completed his Med training. He planned on meeting Mr. Mellark once an engagement was announced."

"We aren't engaged. I don't want to get married. And he shouldn't have been planning Pete's future, or mine!" I know there is a scowl on my face. This pompous lawyer, thinking he knows so much.

He looks at me, "Cornelius was very desirous to have his family tree not die out." He gives me another long look then says, "I think it's time to get to the will. I have Cornelius's business partners waiting for me."

He pulls out a long legal document and starts to read "The Last Will and Testament of Cornelius Wilheim Snow".

Some of his share holdings in different companies are to be divided up between selected partners of different companies. Mr. Gunn could see my obvious lack of interest as to who got what shares between what businesses. He skimmed down to his page. "After the above mentioned share holdings, the remainder of his net worth is to be divided up as such", a list Republican political figures were mentioned and set percentages were to go to their campaign, ranging from a Presidential candidate to Senators to Congressmen, 25% was being divided up between them.

"60% is to go to my Great Niece, Katniss Dawn Everdeen." Mr. Gunn looks at me, "I have an estimation of that total here. But let's finish first. 10% is to be put in a separate account, it is to be divided up into trust funds between any _natural_ children of Katniss Dawn Everdeen. The remaining 5% will be for any _natural_ offspring produced by Katniss Dawn Everdeen's children. If no children are produced these accounts including any and all interest accumulated will instead be donated to the top Republican Presidential candidate at the time, under my name." He pauses and looks at me again, "The estimated total amount you will be in control of is 780 million dollars, this is including stocks and properties. Naturally there will be taxes to be dealt with as well. The amount that will be set aside for any future children is 130 million dollars. For the next generation's trust is 65 million. He is very specific that they be your natural born children, and the same for any grandchildren."

Whoa. I'm shocked. No, shocked is an understatement. I'm dumbfounded. He is actually giving _me_ the majority of his fortune.

"I will be happy to remain in control of the stocks that he currently has."

I'm sure you would. "I will want to review everything and will most likely re-invest elsewhere."

"This brings me to a stipulation. No donation is to be made under his name or in memory of him to any company or corporation besides those listed here," He holds up a slip of paper.

I fight a smirk, he's obviously referencing my donation under his name to the National and Colorado State Parks.

Our meeting finishes up a few minutes later. He shakes my hand, "Contact me if you ever need anything. It has been a pleasure to meet you."

I accept his card and slip it into my purse, next to Uncle's letter.

"Have a nice day, Miss. Everdeen," the lady behind the desk says as I leave.

The elevator goes down. I'm rich. I am filthy stinkin' rich. What should I do with this money? The thought of "What _can't_ I do with this money!" runs through my mind and makes me grin.

I make it back to the hotel and my mind is whirling still. I know my plane is set to leave in five hours. I haven't even begun to pack and I knew the airport would take forever.

I can't think about packing right now, my mind is running a mile a minute, I have to sit down.

"If I miss my flight, I'll just buy a plane to fly me home," I think with a bemused laugh, I could.

Jeez, I really could.


	23. Chapter 23

After pacing the hotel room, I sit on the bed and take a few deep breaths.

"I am rich… very rich," I tell myself, "But I am still me." Another deep breath, "Just because I have_ his_ money, doesn't mean that I have to act any different."

The money is there, or will be. But, I will continue living my life. I am still a student, a student that wants to do well in school. I will still live in my apartment. And I am still in love with Pete.

Pete.

What is he going to say? Will he act differently? Should I tell him about the trusts set aside if I had kids. I start pacing again. I think about the letter, Uncle's letter that he left to me. I feel horrible, even though I am taking his money I still hate him. I don't want to open it, I can't open it alone. Part of me is scared of what it says, what if it contains something that hints at the possibility of his having a soul. I always feel so dramatic in my hatred for him. I know the majority of it stems from him hating my Father. I don't understand how anyone could hate my dear Dad. My pacing stalls as I notice the time. I start my packing. It's not until I have my small carry-on duffle bag full with my text books (I had thankfully only needed to bring two with me) and the clothes that I brought from home, that I remember my shopping trip. My stupid random shopping trip.

"Crap," I curse. I have just under four hours till take off and I needed to find an extra bag. I call down stairs to the front desk and ask where the closest store that has luggage is, it's just two blocks down the street. Thank God for the Upper East Side's infatuation with shopping. I rush down the block and feel a twinge of disgust at the fact that a slide my card for almost 900 dollars for one thing. It's a really nice tan leather suitcase, but still… $900. I didn't exactly have the time to be picky. I had made sure to specify that it had to be a carryon, the sales associate had tried to sell me on a large suitcase.

"I'm sure they'd let you carry this on," She had told me. I didn't believe her, and not only because she had purple hair. How ever stylish and obviously expensive her clothes are, to me her purple hair just doesn't scream "I have good judgment".

I hurried back to the hotel and dumped the duffle bag's contents in the suitcase. I put my Cultural Development text in my large purse with my laptop and other little necessities, then put the other, my Evolutionary Biology text in the suitcase. I folded the duffle bag up tight and packed it also. After rolling the clothes up as tight as they would go and placing them strategically, I was able to finally zip the suitcase closed. After giving a sigh of relief, I draw up the remainder of my coke, then call down to the front desk to ask for a cab to be ready for me to go to the airport. They tell me that they'll send someone up for my bags.

One snort takes up the rest of the line, I pour a few ounces of my whiskey into a glass and down it. I'm not bringing the bottle with me. Instead I leave it in the minifridge. Housekeeping could take the quarter full bottle for themselves or dump it. I rinse my card off with a bit of water to clean off any cocaine residue and dry it on the towel. I check my nose, clean. I stop and look at myself in the mirror, I need to stop doing this shit. I don't _need_ to do it anymore. It's fun, fun as hell, but it's such a slippery slope of addiction and it's just too easy for me to rely on it (especially when Pete's not with me). As the full effects of my line settle in, I keep staring at myself. I finally decide, it's not even really "fun" any more. I actually don't know if it ever was fun. Sure, at parties going up into rooms that seemed "exclusive" was pretty cool. It was fun being part of a different party inside of a party. But, most of the people in those "exclusive" rooms aren't that great of people, a lot of them were annoying and not people I want to hang out with. Albeit, there aren't a lot of people I want to hang out with, at last count there were 2, Pete and Jo. I guess I could include Finn and Pete's brother Mark.

"I need to stop," I say aloud. I hear a knock at the door. I sigh and grab my purse and open the door.

When I get downstairs the taxi cab is waiting, my suitcase is set in the backseat with me. I slip the bell boy who helped with my suitcase a 20 before he closes the door for me.

On the way to the airport I download my eTicket on my phone, then text Pete that I'm on my way to the airport. I give the cab driver a generous tip. Since I can afford to be generous, I plan to be. I never could stand people who leave crummy tips, especially those that could afford to leave better ones. I'm surprised at how quickly I get through security, even more surprised when the lady security guard compliments the new bags

"That's lovely," She told me and handed it over, gazing at the smooth tan leather.

"Thank you," I said, with I'm sure a surprised expression.

I reach my gate with a little over an hour to spare. I try sitting down for the wait, but keeping getting distracted. A lady with her small daughter sat across from me, the girl kept climbing up and down off her chair, thinking it's so exciting. She stands up on the chair and looks around, laughs, then climbs back down, just to crawl right back up again. Her dark hair is braided in to pigtails and her bright blue eyes shine with all the excitement of being in the crowded airport. It's this girl's presence that keeps reminding me of the trusts set aside for the next generations, should I tell Pete about them. I know Pete wants to have kids, he'd be a great Dad. I can picture him in a house, much like his parents, him coming home from work and having a little girl, much like the one across from me, run up to him. I inconspicuously watch the little girl, her blue eyes similar in shade to Pete and her dark hair… similar to mine. Would this be what our children would look like?

It's this thought that propels me suddenly to standing. I grab my things and start walking.

I can not be thinking about children. I wouldn't be good enough.

Besides, Pete and I have only been dating for a few months. I can feel my heart racing. I know it is in part because of the hefty line I did right before leaving the hotel, but it's also because I'm thinking about kids. I slow my walk down, I stop and buy a bottle of water. I sit in a nearby chair and start willing my heart to slow while I take long slow sips. The bottle is half gone by the time I stand again. I walk back to my gate and pick a seat away from that little girl I saw earlier. I don't need another panic attack brought on by a three year old.

After checking the time I still have 20 minutes before they start boarding, I pull out my text book and try to lose my self in it (don't judge me, it is really interesting, even if it is a school book), I have a blue pen stuck in the book on the page I left off on, I keep it in my hand to make any extra notes or to circle an area I wanted to research further. This class was, so far, my favorite class.

I just about jump from my seat when I voice next to me asks, "History?"

I look to my left, clutching my book and pen and probably looking a little wild eyed.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

It was a young guy with dark blonde hair. I don't know if he was sitting there when I sat down or if he just did.

I give a vague nod and start to look back at my book. Jeez, give a little cough or something first, guy. Or better yet, don't talk to me.

"Going to Minneapolis?" He asks again.

I look up again, "Yes."

"Me too. They're almost done boarding."

I snap my head to look around, majority of the seats are empty and there's less than a dozen people in line at the gate.

"Oh," I drop my book back in my purse, I mumble a thanks to the guy.

"No problem, didn't want you to miss your flight. You looked pretty absorbed in your reading."

Does this mean that he had been watching me. Creepy. I had always figured that when I have my nose in a book, I'm as good as invisible, book worms don't usually grab people's attention and aren't generally thought attractive. Or so that had been my understanding.

I walk to the line and he is right behind me. Great.

"Going home?" He asks.

"Yep," I say, not turning around.

"So… Do you go to the University?"

I don't answer, why would I tell some strange guy, who had been watching me for God knows how long, where I go to school.

My lack of response gets a chuckle from him.

I got my iPhone out with the ticket loaded on it, thankful that I splurged and bought a first class ticket. Odds are that this guy would be no where near me… But, I suddenly realized, he would be right behind me and would know where I would be sitting. I step back, "I think I left something at my seat."

I quickly walk back and pretend to check, then walk back. The lady had just scanned his eTicket and he walked through, throwing me a smile.

I let her scan me in.

There's only 8 first class seats and probably over a hundred in coach. But of course, who was sitting in 3 A right next to my seat of 3 B? Seriously. He saw me a broke in to a smile. When I picked up my suitcase to heave it in the overhead compartment he smiled even wider. I saw him stand to help me, but I quickly shoved my suitcase in (Jezz, I need to work on my upper body strength).

"What are the odds?" He said, still smiling.

I give a little shrug in response and sit down and start settling in, I give a quick survey of the other seats, looking for any empty ones. Damn, none.

"What brought you to the Big Apple?"

"You ask a lot of questions," I say, and pick my book back up.

"Just making conversation."

"I had a death in my family," I say simply, I could've said, "The death of what was left of my family", but that sounded so dramatic and it was more likely to increase his curiosity.

I open my book.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He faced forward for a while, then picked up a magazine of some sort. Phew, got lucky he asked that question, "Death" is usually a conversation killer. It makes people uncomfortable.

The next person to talk to me is the stewardess, once we're airborne and it's time to pass out the drinks. The guy next to me orders a scotch and water, which made me hate him even more. I couldn't use my fake ID here on the plane, when they already had all of my real information, maybe they wouldn't care, but I doubt it. I order some hot tea.

"Do you always enjoy your school work?" He asks. Again with the questions.

"I like to focus on things that are interesting," I say. You aren't one of them.

"My Dad would love for me to have your enthusiasm. He's hoping I'll go to Law School for Business Law and join him at his firm, I just graduated from NYU last spring. I can't decide what I want to do."

I don't know how to answer him, I don't want to appear to be encouraging a continued conversation. I choose to say nothing.

"So, does you're family live in New York?"

"I don't have any family _living_ in New York at all any more," I put emphasis on "living".

"Sorry. Were you close?"

Was I close? Oh, to the family member that died. I resist a scoff but I can't help but roll my eyes, "He was my only relative. I really need to use this time to study."

"Your only relative, I'm sorry," He says. What? He didn't hear the last part?

"Did you have to plan everything by yourself?"

"My boyfriend flew up with me but had to leave earlier for school."

"Oh, boyfriend?" He nods to himself, then as if he can't help himself he asks, "History buff like yourself?"

"No," I say simply then pick my book back up.

After a few minutes of feeling tense, worrying if he'll start talking to me again, I relax as the silence stretches out. I hate talking to strangers. I don't want people to know a lot about me, I don't even want them to think about me much.

The rest of the flight goes smoothly and quietly.

I text Pete right after we land and got an answer right away, making me smile, he had obviously been waiting for my text. He was just as excited to see me as I was to see him. I'm so happy that he's be picking me up. I pull my suitcase down and wait for the plane doors to open. My feet start picking up speed as I hurry out of the terminal and down the escalators. It was a 20 minute drive to get from his house to the airport, this time of night he might make better time. When I neared the bottom of the escalators I saw him, standing off to the side, hands in his pockets. He looked up and our eyes met. I rushed to his side and he scooped me up in his arms, I brought my hands up to his face and gave him a long kiss. Then looked into his eyes. Was it really only two days? The distance made it seem longer. He buried his face in my hair. Then pulled away and picked up the handle for my suitcase, "Let's get you home." He took his hand in mine and we started to walk away.

The guy from the plane was just coming down the escalators, I did my best to avoid his glance, but then he said, "Ah, the boyfriend?"

Pete stops and looks at him.

"You're a lucky guy."

"Thank you. I am very lucky," Pete answers.

"Keep up your studies now," He says to me as if we were good friends.

After we're outside and well away from him, Pete asks, "Who was that guy?" I can hear the twinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Sat next to me on the plane and wouldn't leave me alone. I tried everything, even ignoring him." I don't want Pete to think that I was egging that guy on, "Arrogant New Yorker Ass."

Pete raises an eye brow and looks at me, then he starts laughing.

"What?" I ask, surprised at this reaction.

He shakes his head still chuckling, "Nothing."

I hold onto his arm tight as we walk to the car. I can smell the cinnamon on him, either from his gum or those Hot Tamales. The smell is becoming to familiar, so comforting. He lifts my suitcase into the back of his jeep, "New bag?" He asks.

"Yes," I admit, I blush a little at the girly girl confession, "I went shopping."

He opens my car door for me and gives me another kiss.

It's not until we're driving that he asks me, "How'd it go with the lawyer?"

I pause to think, "Well… The crappy part is that I'll have pay millions in taxes."

He gives me a side glance.

"He left me over half of his fortune to me," I say. I keep my eyes trained on him, waiting for his reaction.

"Well… That's surprising."

"I know." Is all I can think to answer with.

Silence fills the car as we get onto the interstate.

"How do you feel about that?" He asks.

"I don't know. Strange… He left me a letter… I haven't read it yet," I tell him, "I didn't want to read it alone."

He squeezes my hand, "We can open it whenever you want."

"Tonight," Is all I say.

We get back to my apartment, it's good to be back. I take a quick shower and change into pajamas. I slide the letter out of my purse. Pete sat next to me on the couch. I don't want to open it. I don't want to know what this evil man has to say.

I know I need to open it, it'll drive me crazy not knowing.

I force myself to think of it as nothing more than a utility bill as I open it. I pull out the single sheet of paper.

To My Great Niece,

By now you know that you are to be in charge of the bulk of my fortune. This money was hard earned by not just me, but several generations that came before me. You have lived a privilege life but not one of over indulgence. When you were under my guardianship, I was surprised and pleased that you were not one for frivolous spending, like so many of your generation. I am certain that you will not use this money as an excuse to live a life of leisure. The key to maintaining this fortune for many generations to come, will be to not live a life of over indulgence.

Hold no ill feelings towards me for leaving you in Denver. It was a far better place for you than here in the City. Some of the youth of the wealthy in New York are quite obnoxious and simple minded. I wanted you to grow up to be level headed and self-reliant, which you have done. I see many good qualities in you that are associated with the family of Snow, determination and a sharp mind. Use these qualities to help the fortune grow and to help the family grow. If you have no family to leave our money to, then all your ancestors hard work was for naught. Don't let it be wasted.

Sincerely,

Cornelius Snow

I let out the breath I had been holding. That was it? I don't know what I had been expecting... He thought well of me... But mostly the letter was about-

"Well?" Pete asks, cutting into my thoughts.

"He doesn't want me to waste the family money," I say, staring blankly at the letter. That was the main purpose for the letter.

Did he say all those nice things to me, just so I would think better of him? I'll never know. I try to make myself not care.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Sorry for the slight delay in posting. I was pretty sick and then got really dehydrated and had to get an IV and spent a few days feeling like crap and trying to convince myself that I was NOT going into kidney failure (I totally over analyze my symptoms). Anywoo, back and feeling better. A nice long juicy chapter here for you. It was hard to stay focused on it because my mind keeps thinking about the upcoming "situations". Enjoy. Reviews are naturally very welcomed. **

**I do not own Hunger Games or any other brands/labels I use for good or evil.**

It felt good to return to school. Routine. I craved routine. Wednesday, my first day back, flew by; I managed to keep my thoughts off of the past few days I had gone through.

I had told Pete not to tell anyone about this inheritance of mine. I didn't think he would, but it was reassuring to hear him say so.

Jo called and asked how things went. I stepped outside to smoke while I vaguely tell her about the weekend. Which annoyed her, she probably wanted a play by play of my time with Detective Stratler.

"You still owe me a night out. We can do a girls night this weekend… You've probably got plans with Perfect Pete though."

The way she said it made me confused, was I supposed to have plans with him. His birthday was at the end of the month, but that was still two weeks away.

After I remain silent, she must have guessed the reason behind my confusion.

"You do remember that it's Valentine's Day this Friday…right?"

"Oh," I say simply, I had never really had reason to celebrate Valentine's Day.

"Come on, Kat! You and Pete are supposed to be on top of this. You're in a relationship that I could only dream of being in."

"Well, it's not like I haven't had a lot of shit going on! Sorry if I forgot about a Hallmark card holiday." I take a drag off my cigarette, feeling annoyed with her.

"Whatever. I'm sure he has something planned, something ridiculously romantic that would never happen to me," She sighs a woe-is-me sigh. I roll my eyes, I'm sure she already has a date lined up.

After she's done "wallowing" in supposed self-pity she continues, "Maybe we can go out Saturday night…unless you're still tangled up in the sheets."

I roll my eyes.

"Call me if he proposes," She says (I can practically hear her smirking on the other end), then hangs up before I can retort.

After I hang up from her I step back inside and start biting my nails. He is not going to propose. Pete knows my thoughts on that; he's not going to suddenly pop the question.

I roll my eyes, Jo thinks it's downright hilarious make me nervous or uncomfortable. She's not going to freak me out about Valentine's Day.

Crap.

Valentine's Day means Valentine's Day gifts. I'm still at complete loss as to what to get him for his birthday. Now I have to think of something by the day after tomorrow.

Crap.

I hate this stuff, I don't know what to get or do for him. At that moment he walks in the door, done with school for the day.

"Hey," I say and lower my hand.

He gives me a kiss, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just talking to Jo."

"Ah," He says and nods with a laugh, "Dare I ask?"

"She was making fun of me for forgetting about Valentine's Day," I look down while I say it, I don't want him to think that I'm saying we _have_ to do something, he's busy with school, and really it's just a stupid holiday.

"Don't listen to her, she just likes to tease you."

Boy doesn't she.

"Did you want to do something?" I ask. I'm almost scared that he'll say no, although why I have no idea, I would have passed the day by without a second thought before Jo called. Damn Jo.

"Of course," He says, amused at my anxious expression.

"OK," I say, "Maybe get a nice dinner or something."

"Sounds like a plan," He says and kisses my forehead.

I pause, "What do you want for a gift?"

"You," He says simply.

"You already have me," I say. He wraps his arms around me and draws me near.

"I know," He kisses my neck, then speaks into my ear softly, "I've got everything I want." He returns to my neck, trailing kisses along my neck and downward, as far as my shirt will allow. I feel his tongue flick on the skin right by my collar bone; Goosebumps cover my fully clad body. He sweeps me off my feet and carries me to my room.

Naked, with sweat glistening on our bodies, we lay in each other's arms for a while, before finally acknowledging the fact that it was only 5:00 in the afternoon and we each had things we needed to do before we could call it a day.

For Pete that was spending the rest of the night tucked away in the den, again. I should at get a picture or something for in there, so he has something to look at besides the white walls.

I decide to post-pone my school work for a while and deal with some business matters. In a box in my closet I had everything regarding my parent's estate, I rifled through everything until I found their lawyer's contact information. Their lawyer B.T. Volts and my Dad had been friends since high school, he had handled mostly business law, Dad had hired him to write up contracts and review documents for any business deals he had. He had also helped make the arrangements for the funerals, in addition to organizing their estate for me, getting the trust set up for when I turned 18. I hadn't had a lot of contact with him since I turned 18 and gained control of the trust. The office for his solo practice had been a small office close to the outskirts of Saint Cloud, I went there a few times with my Dad when I was younger and once after their death. I remember he used to have a picture of him and my Dad from their high school graduation on his bookshelf.

Though I had his home phone number and office line, I thought it best to e-mail him. I'm not good at phone conversations, with e-mails I can go back and revise my words before sending, that's a little impossible with verbal conversations. I gave him a brief summary of the fact that my Uncle had left me an inheritance and that his lawyer in New York City was currently the one handling the affairs relating to it. I asked if either he would be available to help me or if he could recommend someone for me. After reading it through several times, I finally hit send.

I was surprised when he replied right away, I figured he was already done for the day. His reply told me that he actually moved into a large firm in St. Paul, he asked me to call his secretary tomorrow after 7:30 am to set up a time that worked with my schedule. He mentioned how happy he was to hear from me and he looks forward to seeing me so I can "catch him up" on the goings on in my life. I always liked Mr. Volts, going back to when he'd give me a piece of candy whenever I'd go into his office with Dad.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment my mind drifted back to Valentine's Day. I was relieved (to put it mildly) that I didn't have to find a gift for Pete. He said he just wanted me. Well, if he wanted me I might as well do something special. I _should _be (and had planned on) researching the behavioral genes of Drosophila flies, for a paper due next week. Instead, I get ready to head to the mall. I don't know where this "shopping" side of me came from, before I had met Pete I only got new clothes a two or three times a year. Now, I like the way Pete looks at me when I look nice… but I also like the way he looks at me when I'm wearing my sweatpants, and I like the way he looks at me naked even better. I wanted to find something sexy for him, a nice sexy treat.

I popped my head into the den and told Pete I was stepping out for a moment.

I had thought of going to Victoria's Secret, but I didn't want to be bombarded with the word "Pink", plus it's always ridiculously busy and, I'll admit, it sickens me slightly to see a 12 year old girl buying panties that say "Sexy" in glitter, it's just wrong. I decide on the department store Nordstroms, where the sales associates are helpful (sometimes overly so).

I stopped to look at the dresses for a moment and I saw a small sign advertising the store's personal stylist. I do as the sign tells me to do and head towards customer service. I am able to shop for myself… but it is so much easier to have someone who knows what they're doing help me.

I'm told that Annie will be available for a consultation in 30 minutes.

I head over to the intimates and start looking around. There's a 50 year old women looking around unabashedly at size double D bras. I try not to appear uncomfortable, I'm 20 years old I should not be embarrassed looking at underwear. I pick up a few bras then head for the more "risqué" section. I've never gotten anything resembling a teddy or a negligée, that has just always seemed like it was for "grown-ups", or women more grown up than me. But I wanted to surprise Pete, the look on his face was going to be well worth any feelings of discomfort that I felt now. My appointment with the stylist is drawing nearer so I quickly decide on a little strapless black lace body suit number with attached garter straps, I grab what I would assume to be my size and buy it from a lady at least twice my age that had boobs as big as my head…not kidding.

I head back to the customer services area for my appointment. Annie is a bright a bubbly girl in her early 20s. Her dark red hair is pulled back in a loose bun, a simple white button down shirt and a red pencil skirt accentuates her hour glass figure. She takes me to a private room and does some quick measurements, talking all the while.

"What brings you in today?"

"Valentine's Day," I say.

"You have some special plans?" She asks with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah, I think it's going to be a dinner out. We're both always busy with school, we don't get to go out very often."

"That'll be so nice. Do you know where you're going?"

"I dunno… Pete's the planner. I'd like to find a nice dress, nothing overly fancy, but still… nice."

She gives me a smile and writes down the last measurement.

"Alright, let's go see what we can find for you. With your figure and coloring we'll have a few different options. How would you define your style?"

We start walking back towards the dresses.

"Um…" I draw a blank, do I have a style? "I guess, simple."

She takes my answer without a break in her step, "We'll find something for you."

She starts pulling different dresses off for me, mentioning as she does that, "This color will look great on your skin tone." Or, with a smile she says, "This one will give you that va-va-voom." "A shift dress will work with your body type, but I think we need to go for something more form fitting for this occasion."

She sends me back to try them on, before I have the first one on she slide a box of high heels under the door for me.

"Wear these so we can get a better idea of how the look will work complete."

I try on a half dozen dresses, she points out to me how and why each dress works for me. Making side notes like, "With this dress you should wear your hair up."

When I try on a Diane von Furstenberg long sleeved lace cocktail dress, I don't believe it, I look like a God damn sex kitten! The maroon fabric clings to my body, fitting like a glove.

She found the rest of the outfit for me, some sheer dark gray stockings, black pointy toed heels and a clutch. Made suggestions as to what to do with my hair

It's not until I'm back in my car that I notice the time… I was in that one store for two hours. I might have missed out on a night of research and studying, but I am going to look ridiculously hot.

When I got home, Pete's still studying, the only evidence that he had come out of the den since I left was the plate and coffee mug in the sink. I stowed my new purchases in the back of my closet.

When he came to bed, I immediately curled up next to him and laid my head on his chest.

"Where'd you go earlier?" He asked tracing circles lightly on my arm.

"I went shopping," I say. I can't see his face right now, but judging on the fact that his hand stopped moving I could tell he was either surprised or confused; randomly leaving to go hit the mall is not my style. So I continue, "I wanted to get a nice dress for Valentine's Day."

"Do you want to model it for me?" He asked suggestively.

"No," I said and playfully slapped his shoulder, "You'll have to wait."

"Any preference as to the restaurant?"

"Some place nice… I don't really care," I say, I just don't want my dress to be too over the top.

"Some place nice, I can do that," He says with a kiss to the top of my head. I tighten my arms around his torso and close my eyes.

I had a time set up for Tuesday to see Mr. Volts, I was going to head over after my morning class. I stuffed all the documents and information I had gotten from Mr. Gunn's office into a folder, along with some map quest directions to his office, and set an alert on my phone to remind me.

Friday came and I tried to focus in my class, I really did, but I was nervous. I feel silly to admit it, but I am, I'm nervous about my date with Pete. It's the first Valentine's Day I've ever celebrated with a boyfriend. I remember the Valentine's that were passed around school when I was a kid. I never liked it then either. I got along pretty well with the boys, I'd play with them on the playground, but they didn't like me in the "be my Valentine" type of way, and the girls didn't like me much because I was too much of a tomboy. Our school had a rule that everyone had to give everyone a Valentine, so I always got some, but they were usually just a plan card with a scrawl of a signature. I'd watch while the other girls opened up their elaborate Valentine's and giggle with their friends. It really is a stupid holiday, so why I am nervous? I resolve to not think about this day as Valentine's Day; Pete had said no gifts, so it's just going to be a nice date (that I'm going to look smoking hot for), at least my classmates don't pass around Valentine's anymore, though a girl (blonde and bubbly) in my last classes of the day has a rather ridiculous headband decorated with thin red streamers and hot pink hearts. It's my French class, so there's a wider variety of students than my other classes. I roll my eyes at Wiress, a girl that is sitting next to me when blondie walks past to get to her seat.

"I know," She says with a smirk, "Aren't we a little old for that?"

Wiress and I usually sit next to each other in this class and sometimes talk or share notes, though more often than not we're silent. During a project once she told me that she's majoring in French Studies and can speak 5 (FIVE) languages, English, Japanese, French, Italian, and Romanian. I can only be envious, my new 10 year goal is to learn three new languages. I have a long list of places I'd like to visit around the globe, from Peru to Turkey. I haven't said anything to Pete yet, but I'm hoping that summer after next I can convince him to join me on a trip somewhere. It'd be the summer before he'd start Med School, so I know he'll be busy – but because he'll be even busier for the next few _years_ after that, I think he should take a break. Maybe if I pose it as a graduation gift he wouldn't be able to refuse. I inwardly scoff, yeah, happy graduation Pete, you can come with me to Turkey to visit the Göbekli Tepe (the oldest man-made religious site found). He'd be a good sport about it, but that's my thing, not his. If I was going to give him a vacation as a graduation gift it should be something that will be fun for _him_.

When my class is done I hurry home. Pete said that our reservation was set for six, I should have plenty of time to get ready, but I wanted to be sure. He was going to go to his house after his class and pick me up twenty till six.

First thing I do when I get home is mix myself a drink, the past few days I've been mixing soda water with my whiskey, instead of just ice. It's something more to wet my whistle, so to speak, instead of erase my mind. I strip my clothes off and wrap myself in a robe. Standing in the bathroom I have a hard time not grabbing my old altoids tin to do a quick line, it's right here, I'd just have to open the cabinet door to get it… It'd help me concentrate on the task at hand that's quite foreign to me. The last time I had any was on Tuesday, I've been trying not to think about it much. It's the worst in the morning, it was always such an effective get-up-and-go before the day begun. I've resolved to only do it on the weekends. "It's the weekend now," A voice in the back of my mind tells me. I shake my head, it'd be stupid to do it now. Pete and I are going out to dinner, I want to enjoy my food, not push it around on my plate because of the nasty taste I'd have in the back of my throat. I don't need it to have a good time with Pete.

Instead of drawing up a line, I start to get ready. I pull my new set of curlers out from their box. Annie had suggested putting some waves in my hair, so I had bought curlers. I almost got a curling iron, but I didn't trust myself not to burn an ear off. I plug the device in and eye it warily. I also went out and got some eye makeup. I'm in over my head here. I start biting my nails, suddenly I have an idea (it's seriously like a light blub switched on over my head)… YouTube. They have videos of everything. So I log on and look up "hair curling" (I feel pretty stupid, but I must not be alone because several different videos pop up – no doubt Jo would laugh her ass off at me right now). Most of them are for curling irons, but I find one that's for using curlers. I watch it then do my best to imitate the girl, my scalp start throbbing from the damn things pulling my hair, but I grit my teeth and bear it, as I try not to poke my eye with the stupid mascara. The girl in the video sprays her hair with hairspray before taking the curlers out, the thought of buying hairspray never even occurred to me. Jo had brought some over once (and I wasn't in a hurry to inhale or choke on the stuff again).

Before unraveling my hair I slip into the black lace body suit, the strapless top part pushes and pads my small B-cups into a sexy full rack. I slide the stockings up to mid-thigh and attach them to the garter. Damn! My ass looks awesome in this! I should really just wear this thing all the time, it'll be a shame to cover it up (till at least after dinner). I start taking the curlers out one by one, my hair falls down past my shoulders in soft waves. An excited giddiness takes over me, Pete is going to freak when he sees me. I slip into my new dress and zip up the back. I turn around, looking in the mirror, I can't believe that's me. A far cry from the jeans and sweatshirt I wore to school.

I down the rest of my drink and check the time, I still had about 15 minutes before Pete showed up. I'm glad he went to his house instead of coming here, it's much more exciting.

I slide into my new heels and step outside for a smoke. It's a nice night, a little cold but a cloudless night, I'm sure away from all the city lights the stars would light up the sky. I bend over and lean my elbows against my railing as I take a long drag of my cigarette. A few moments later I feel eyes on me, then I hear the door open. I turn my head to look over my shoulder and I smile and Pete, "You're early." I look him up and down, he's looking positively GQ worthy in low slung dress slacks, white button down dress shirt and a fitted sport coat. I turn to face him, flicking my cigarette into my outdoor ashtray.

He doesn't say anything or take his eyes from me, mouth slightly agape, he steps closer and reaches out and takes my hips in his hands and pulls me closer to him.

After a few more moments of silence, I ask, "Well?"

Our eyes meet and he holds me with such an intense gaze that I start to feel light headed. He doesn't need to talk, I can tell what he's thinking by the look he's giving me.

"Damn," He finally gets out, but says nothing more.

"Have I actually made you speechless, Pete Mellark?" I tease then head inside. I feel his eyes on me as I walk past.

"We could just order in," He says a little while later, following me inside. His arm wrap around me and I feel one of his hands starting to toy with the zipper.

"No, we're keeping that reservation, and we won't be late for it either." I'm loving this! "We better leave soon."

A large bouquet of flowers is sitting on the coffee table next to a small box. My heart beats fast as I think that it's the size of a ring box, but then my heart rate returns to normal as I realize that Pete would propose by having me open a box sitting rather unceremoniously on the coffee table.

So instead of showing my brief anxiety, I turn to him with an eyebrow raised, "I thought you said no gifts."

"No I didn't. I said I didn't want you to get me anything," He kisses my neck as he comes up behind me. I can't remember the conversation with him kissing me like that, so I have no choice to believe him.

I put the flowers in the vase he had gotten me a few months ago and center it on the table. Then open the small box. The diamond earrings inside catch the light as soon as I open them, they're beautiful, so simple but more beautiful because of it.

I give him a long kiss to thank him. I decide to put them on before we go. Pete stands behind me watching me, staring is more like it. His eyes don't leave me as I grab my coat.

After the dress is covered up with my wool coat, Pete's able to come back to his senses. I smirk at his reaction to me, then I toss my fake id and credit card in my new clutch, there's a little pocket that would be perfect to stash coke in, but instead I put my chapstick there. Not nearly as glamorous in my mind, but better.

"So where is this reservation at?" I ask as he holds the door open for me.

"La Belle Vie," He tells me, it's a really nice French restaurant that I've only read reviews for. "They're having a special 6 course meal for today. Supposed to be really good."

His hand almost can't help but graze my leg while he's driving, he doesn't seem to have control over it, when it starts trailing higher and higher I playfully slap his hand, "Time for that later." He had no idea what I was wearing underneath this, the thought of that thrilled me.

"Going to me a long six courses, maybe we can just go a la carte?" He asks.

"Let's do the meal," I say with a coy smile. He groans and focuses back on the road.

The restaurant is packed, but our table is ready for us. For each course that's served there is a different wine, I don't know if it's the adrenaline pumping through me or the different types of wines combining together, but the wine is really hitting me. Pete, ever the responsible one, asked for just water after the second course, leaving me to guzzle the different types of wine by myself. By the time dessert rolls around with sparkling wine I'm straight up drunk. Me the girl who drinks whiskey daily is drunk off wine. It's not the same type of drunk, just gives me an edge, I feel like I'm the sexiest thing ever. The way Pete keeps looking at me only fuels that feeling.

The drive home his hand stayed on my leg, starting at my knee then lightly sliding upwards. I wanted him to touch me so bad, despite the wine running through my veins I'm able to stop his hand before it slips under the hem of my skirt.

"Focus on the road, Mellark."

We reach a red light and he dives over the middle, pulls me closer and gives me a passionate kiss.

"Green light," I break away to say. A low growl/groan comes from the back of his throat, turning me on even more. Thank God we were nearing my place.

His hand slides under my coat, which I left unbuttoned and as we walk he grabs a hold of my ass. I'm vaguely aware that there is another couple in front of us, heading for the building door.

As the guy holds the door open for the girl and us, I recognize Gale.

"Hello," He says.

"Hi," I answer. Pete tears his eyes away when he hears me talking to someone.

"Thank you," He says, referring to Gale holding the door for us.

"You guys having a nice evening?" Gale asks, I see him look me up and down. Pete's hand is still inside my coat, though now his hand is resting on my back.

"Yep, just getting back from dinner," Pete says, then turns to the girl, "Hello, I'm Pete, this is Katniss."

The girl flips her blonde hair over her shoulder, "I'm Glimmer."

Glimmer? That sounds like something Barbie would name her pet unicorn. I'm sure my expression is a mix of amusement and disgust, thankfully Pete has a bit more tact then me, he quickly says, "What a pretty name."

"Thank you," She says and bats her long (probably fake) eye lashes at him. Gag. While she stands there and tries to make "flirty eyes" with my boyfriend, I scrutinize her, I guess she pretty, but can't tell with all that makeup. She has a slinky gold dress that clings to her body, her skin holds a dark tan that's too uniform to be natural (not to even mention that it's the middle of winter in Minnesota, no one is supposed to be freakin' tan). I snap out of my inner critique of this slut cakes, when I hear that she's still talking to Pete.

I'm not sure if I interrupt her blatantly or not, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Glimmer," I honestly try not to sneer, smirk, or mock her name (seriously though, what parent names their kid Glimmer, unless their highest hopes for her were to be a stripper), "But I'm getting rather hot standing under the vent." I slide my coat off my shoulders and give a look to Pete as I drape my coat over my arm. We are standing under the large vent that blasts you with warm air when you first come in. Also, I wanted to show Glimmer my hot-as-shit dress that wipes the floor with her sluty cheap one. "We've got to be getting upstairs anyway," I finish and give Pete a look. He's right behind me as I walk up the stairs.

I walk into my apartment and head directly for the bedroom, tossing my clutch and coat on the table. I stop when I reach the end of the bed, I look over my shoulder at Pete who is catch up to me. I don't say anything as he comes up right behind me, I pull my hair over to one side, exposing my back and the dress's zipper. His fingers lightly touch the skin right above the back of the dress, he kisses the back of my neck as he slowly starts unzipping. When he reaches the end of the zipper I hear his breath falter as he gets a glimpse of what has been hiding under my dress. I pull my arms out of my sleeves and let the dress fall to the ground. I give him enough time to take it in before I slowly turn then sit on the bed and scoot back and lean back on my elbows. He drinks in the site of me for a few moments, judging from his look of concentration I'd say his locking the mental picture in his memory.

"Well?" I ask, "You said you wanted _me_ for Valentine's Day."

He still looks practically shell shocked; I sit up and unbutton his shirt then sweep it off his shoulders, and give his undershirt a tug, prompting him to quickly pull it over his head. I run my hands along his chest muscles and down his abs, stopping at his pants. I trace my finger along his skin right above his belt. I can tell he's having difficulties keeping his breathing regular, I relish in the power I have over him. I quickly undo his belt and slowly unbutton his pants and pull them down. His erection is bulging in his boxer briefs, I lean my face closer and breathe heavily against it then start lightly touching it, teasing him. He groans and throws his head back, and then he snaps into focus, and quickly removes his shoes and socks and steps out of his pants, and leans down and pushes me back against the bed. His eyes never leave me and he lifts one leg up and his hands run slowly up my stocking covered leg from my ankle up to the garter straps, he unhooks them on one side then does the same to the other side. He runs his hands up the black lace covering my body, then leans into me he presses his mouth to mind in a long kiss, our tongues dancing together as he presses his rock hard member between my legs. One of his hands runs under my body and grabs my ass, pressing me into him even harder. He doesn't break our kiss, but he pulls his hips away from mine and traces his hand from my ass to my crotch and slips his hand under the fabric. Two fingers slide around my wetness before pushing in. I moan into our kiss, which spurs him on, using his thumb to circle around my clit. I have to break my mouth away from his as he starts moving his fingers in an out curling them slightly.

"Oh God, Pete! I need you!" I moan loudly. He makes quick work of removing the black lace from my body, but keeps the stockings on. Jeez, this is hot! I don't even notice him remove the last piece of his clothing, but I feel it as he hoovers over me for just a second then plunges into me. Just him entering me is almost enough to set me over the edge. He pushes into me deeper then draws out almost entirely then pushes in again, he pulls out again then reaches one hand down and rubs circles around my folds as he thrusts into me again, this I feel a rush of intense pleasure starting in my core and taking over my body, leaving my nerves tingling. I blink a few times, bringing back the world around me. My legs are still tingly as I start matching Pete's rhythmic thrusts.

He wraps his arms around my waist and flips over so I'm on top, I straighten my back up and flip my hair over my shoulder as I start riding him. He grips my hips tightly to deepen the penetration as he gets close. I tighten myself around him in small pulses as I push him into me. I feel his hot cum filling me and I keep going, using his pleasure to give me another orgasm. We stop a few moments later and I collapse on top of him. We're silent for a few moments, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"God, Katniss," He murmurs into my hair, "I love you so much."

"I love you," I tell him and give him a long kiss. I still feel him inside me, the residual effects of my last orgasm still tingling through my limbs. I loosens his grip on my slightly and my nipples graze over his chest muscles, turning my on. I slip my tongue into his mouth and turn the kiss into a passionate one. He returns with his own passion and I feel him harden again inside me. God, this is awesome, I love it, I love him. I could be with him forever.


	25. Chapter 25

The next morning Pete wakes me up with a kiss before leaving to meet up with his study group, I lounge around and try to focus on a research paper. After re-reading the same page for the third time I let out a sigh… It's so much harder to focus without the added edge of cocaine. This is stupid! I managed to get through high school with a 4.0 with out the stuff to help me. College is a lot harder, but still I used to be able to stay focused with out it. I need to at least prove to myself that I can still manage without it. Maybe tonight when I go out with Jo I'll treat myself to a little. It's now my forth day without, I can survive another 12 hours. I grab a V8 and a Red Bull to compensate (like it really compares).

I actually do find my groove and in little over an hour, I have not only the outline completed by also a rough draft of my introduction. Pete comes home and brings some early lunch. We eat together before he ducks into the den. I get a text from Jo asking if I'm still game for the night and I find that I'm looking forward to it, it'll be fun to have a girls night.

She comes by around 9 that night, dressed in tight red leather pants and a long sleeved top that hung over one shoulder to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if she "accidentally" flashed a boob sometime in the night. Large earring and lots of make-up are the finishing touches to her evening look.

She takes in my jeans, tunic top and leather jacket and scoffs.

"What? I'm wearing heels," I said in my defense, "_And_ I put mascara on."

She leans in close and squints her eyes, "Oh yeah, I think I can tell." I roll my eyes. She puts her hands on her hips, "At least take out the damn braid, Kat! Honestly you'll be paying for your own drinks all night dressed like that."

"I'm planning on buying my own drinks… and yours, so shut it. I'm not going to whore myself out for free drinks."

She reaches over and yanks out my hair tie and tosses it on the table.

"I'm so freakin' sick of that stupid braid of yours. If you try to wear it out next time we go out I swear I'll cut your hair off."

"I want her to wear her hair down more often too, Jo… But if you come near her head with scissors, I'll have to intervene," Pete says, he's leaning against the door frame of the den.

"Honestly how can you stand that this," She motions up me, "Is what she considers going-out wear."

"You should've seen her last night," Pete says with a mischievous grin.

"Ohh, sounds positively X rated," Jo says nudging me suggestively, "I forgot to ask you how your V-Day was… Can you believe that brainless here completely forgot about the holiday." She directed that last part to Pete.

He didn't answer just gave me a smirk and a lustful glance as we both think back to last night.

"OK, enough lovey dovey crap, let's go get hammered," Jo says and grabs my arm.

Pete kisses me good bye and tells me to call him for a ride home.

"You _could_ just give us a ride there lover boy… You can even join us, no one's making you stay behind," Jo says.

Pete agrees to drop us off at Jo's bar of choice, but says he won't stay.

"All work and no play," Jo says in a sing songy voice. Pete chooses to ignore her.

After waiting in line and paying the cover and showing ids (Jo can use her real license now, lucky), we finally get into the bar with hip hop music blaring. We push our way up to the bar and Jo orders us two shots and two drinks, then motions for me to pay the man, I roll my eyes at her subtlety.

We both down our shots and I hear a guy cheering us on, "I'll get you ladies another!" Jo quickly agrees adding, "Only if you'll join us, handsome."

We take two more shots with that guy and three of his friends, before I pull Jo away on the pretense of going to the bathroom. Instead we take to the dance floor. I will be the first to admit wholeheartedly that I am not a dancer, my sense of rhythm is quite pathetic really, but when surrounded by drunk people who are too drunk to tell, it can be fun.

After dancing for a while, we find two empty seats and fall into them and order another round of drinks from a passing waitress.

Jo checks her phone, "Finn's just down the block, wants us to head over."

We agree to go after the next drink. I sign the tab and leave a 50% tip.

"Let's go powder our noses before heading out," Jo says after finishing her drink. I'm rather shocked that I hadn't even given blow a thought so far tonight. I join her in the bathroom but then at the last minute decide not to partake. "Not right now," I tell her. She gives me a side glance then quickly snorts the line she had drawn up for me. We make our way down the block where we have to pay another cover, but at least there's no line.

We spot Finn at a table near the back.

"Who's that sex-on-a-stick with him?" Jo asks as we near.

Jo, always so prim and proper.

We join Finn's table, as we sit I look around at the group sitting with us. I fight an eye roll as I see Gale and Glimmer, then I freeze as I notice the blonde guy from my flight from New York. He's smiling at me, "Well, hello again."

Jo looks at me and raises her eyebrows, "What to introduce me to your friend, Kat?"

The guy smiles at Jo, "Marv Quaid."

"Yeah, Marv told me that you guys were on the same flight from New York," Finn says.

I quickly think back to that plane ride, he kept talking to me, and asked me a few questions, but I don't ever remember telling him my name… I'm certain that I didn't know _his_ name.

I look at him square in the eye, "I don't remember exchanging names."

"Sure we did, you told me your name and I complimented it, then you completely ignored me," He says, giving a good natured shrug.

"That's our Kat," Jo says, then looks at him, "What's that your drinking?"

I tune out his and Jo's flirtatious conversation. I know I had done a bunch of coke before I left the hotel, but I don't think that would make me forget, especially when I remember taking care not to give him my name. I actually remember feeling a slight relief that he never asked me.

"Pete not with you tonight," Finn asked.

"Nope, Jo was able to drag me out but couldn't convince him to join us," I tell him.

"Oh," Glimmer says from across the table, "Staying home on a Saturday night, that'd suck."

Thank you for that wonderful insight, ditz.

She then lets out a giggle, "If I ever stay home on a Saturday night before I'm 50, someone slap me."

Jo and I share a glance, I can tell my thought of "How about I just slap you now?" Is similar to what Jo's thinking. But instead of voicing my thoughts, I choose to say, "Well, he's taking a full course load plus being pre-Med. He has more important things to think about that drinking amongst strangers."

It's actually (surprisingly) Jo that covers up my blatant rudeness and says, "Don't mind Katniss, she'd stay home every night if I wasn't there to drag her out." She gives me a nudge then continues, "But with a guy like Pete I'd be happy to stay holed away with him too, so can't blame her too much."

"Yeah, yeah," Gale says, "We all know what you think about Pete, Jo… You looked really nice last night, Kat." Glimmer scoffs at the compliment directed at me. Don't worry bitch, I'm not going to steal your boyfriend, or whatever he is to her.

I mumble a "Thanks." As the conversation moves away from me I take out my phone to text Pete.

_That guy from the plane is here. Friends with Finn, I guess._

I don't mention him knowing my name, it's possible, I guess, that I told him and don't remember… Not likely, but possible. How else would he known it? I don't want to freak Pete out, even though I'm slightly freaked out.

_Random…Let me know if you want me to pick you up or join you._

He texts back.

_Yeah, really random and strange. I think Jo's catching his eye._

"Don't need to even guess who you're texting," Jo says and peers over my shoulder, I slip the phone back into my purse as she starts to imitate me, "Oh, Pete I miss your hot bod. Please come pick me up so we can have hot sex in your roomy back seat."

"Yeah, sure Jo, that's what I said… Oh how well you know me," I say sarcastically and roll my eyes. I look around the room, hoping Jo decides to talk about something else. I see Annie, the stylist from Nordstrom. She's with two other girlfriends, I think about going over to say hi, but that just feels so awkward, she probably helps several people a day, I'm just a customer in the large department store. But then she sees me, she gives me a smile and starts making her way over to me.

"Hey," She says still smiling, "How was your Valentine's Day?"

"Good, the dress was just amazing, I never would have tried it on by myself." I notice that her appearance is far from unnoticed by the rest of the table, Jo looks curious, while Finn's mouth is slightly agape.

"This is Annie, she helped me pick out a dress for Valentine's Day. She's a stylist at Nordstrom."

She gave a friendly wave to the table, her eyes lingering on Finn.

"This is Finn, Jo, Gale, Glimmer," Still feel like gagging whenever I hear or say her name, "And Marv." I finish with, wishing he'd leave.

A few more basic pleasantries are exchanged before she returns to her friends.

"Finn, you're drooling," I joke. Since I've known Finn, I've seen him with a number of different girls at parties, none of those girls sit and hang out with his close friends (that I know about anyway), I don't think I've ever actually seen him with the same girl twice. Such a man-whore.

Finn seems distracted for the next half hour, until he finally gets up with out a word and we all see him heading in Annie's direction.

"What's the bet she'll go home with him?" Jo jokes. We observe their conversation for a moment before turning our attention back to our own drinks.

"I'm going to the ladies room, Katniss?" Jo says. I know she's "discretely" asking if I want some coke. Oh it'd be so easy to agree and get away from the table that's sure to be awkward with just Gale, Glimmer and Marv left to keep me company.

"I'm good." I know if I start now, I'll keep going, and that makes for a much longer night than I had planned.

Some rap song comes on and a few people cheer and stand to dance.

"Come on, Gale," Glimmer says and pulls his arm, "Let's dance. I love this song."

He reluctantly gets up. Shit, now it's just the prick Marv and I.

"I was hoping we'd run in to each other again," He says to me leaning across the table, "Do you want to head outside for a smoke?"

"No thanks."

I reach to pick up my phone to appear interested in something else, maybe he'll go outside by himself, or at least not talk to me. I snap to attention when he sits next to me on the bench Jo and I had been sitting on. When I go to stand up to put some distance between us he surprises me by grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

He doesn't release his grip or loosen it, he squeezes my arm even tighter then leans in close, "Alright listen, bitch. We have some business to discuss. Let's step outside for a smoke." I can smell the alcohol on his breath as he breaths on me.

What. The. Fuck!

"Let the fuck go of me. We have no business together at all," I say firmly, "Anything you want to say you can say here."

"Your Uncle stole money from my Father, you are going to pay it back."

"I never knew anything about my Uncle's business, I don't owe you shit."

He squeezes my arm even harder and gives me arm a twist. I steel my expression so I don't wince.

"You inherited his business when you inherited his money. He refused to pay and look what happened to him. Don't think you'll be any luckier."

My mind blanks and all I can think is, "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit."

It's the pain in my arm that brings me back to my senses to take in the situation, I need someone else here with me, where is Jo. I need help, can't anyone see him twisting my arm. My eyes frantically land on the dance floor and meet Gale's gaze. I must have looked positively frantic because it's not a second after I catch his eye that he's striding over.

"Just remember that, bitch," He hisses in my ear, right as Gale comes up to the table. Though Marv releases my arm, Gale picks him up by his collar and throws him away from me, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Get back to your girlfriend, Shimmer, and mind your own fucking business."

He punches him in the jaw, then the two of them are suddenly having an all out brawl right in front of me, seriously right-in-front of me. The table crashes to the floor and I get kicked by someone as they tumble over. I scoot away as the bouncer comes walking over and pulls Gale off Marv.

I'm left in a daze and I hear people talking about the police being called. Jo comes up behind me, "What the fuck?!"

I open my mouth to say something but I can't. Has this seriously just happened? I vaguely hear Glimmer bitching about something before leaving. Gale and Marv are escorted outside to wait for the police. Jo pulls me along to follow.

"What happened?"

"He-he threatened to kill me," I say aloud. Seriously? Did this just happen?. I look at Jo, "Uncle owed his Dad money but refused to pay… He told me I wouldn't be any luckier than Uncle was… I-I can't deal with this. Call Pete." I don't think I could figure out how to work my phone right now.

The police start talking to Gale and Marv. I step closer as I hear Gale telling his side of the story.

"Was this man attacking you, miss?" One of the officers asked me when Gale finished.

"He was grabbing my arm," I say, it sounds pathetic when I say it like that. I take off my jacket, not even feeling the cold biting my exposed arms. Around my bicep the area he had grabbed was a deep red, I could practically see each individual finger mark left on my arm.

"He said I'd end up the same as my Uncle unless I paid him money," I say, still in a daze. I know that these police have no idea what's been going on in New York, so I add, "My Uncle was murdered last week in New York City."

"You stupid fucking bitch," Marv starts screaming, in a rage now, "You better fucking watch your step."

One of the police officers quickly puts him in the back of the squad car.

"You will have to come into the station to give a statement," I'm told.

I turn to Jo, she must have seen the frantic question in my eyes because she says, "Pete is on his way."

"Can my boyfriend drive me? He's on his way."

Gale has to be brought into the station to.

I turn to him, "Thank you." A simple thank you is not enough for what he did, but it's all I can think to say. The way he rushed over to help, how can I begin to thank him.

Pete pulls up to the curb and hops out and rushes over. He looks into my eyes and cradles my head in his hand, "What happened?"

"The guy from the plane… Marv," I start, but the officer interrupts me.

"We need her to come to the station with us to get a statement and ask some questions."

"I'll drive her."

A sudden thought hits me, "Call Detective Stratler of the NYPD. He's working on my Uncle's case." I have his card at home in my other purse.

"Well get in contact with them, miss."

I try to fill Pete in as we drive to the station, "He knew my name," I shake my head, I should've been on my guard more, I knew I didn't tell him, "Finn said he mentioned meeting me on the plane before I got there, but I never told him my name. Everyone left the table and it was just him and I, he sat next to me and grabbed me…said my Uncle owed his Dad money, that he had stolen it from him. Said that it was my problem now that I inherited his money. Said if I refused to pay like my Uncle did, then I would end up the same way… Gale saw him grabbing my arm and came and pulled him off me."

Pete parks in front of the police station, he looks at me, "I'm sorry I wasn't there, Katniss."

"H-how could you have known this would happen," I tell him, then I break down and burst into tears. How could this have happened? He reaches over and hugs me, the middle console stopping him from getting as close as I would like him. He quickly gets out of the car and opens my door and holds me. My whole body is shaking and he holds me tighter. I wrap my arms around his neck, I'm so thankful that he's here with me. I'm not alone.


	26. Chapter 26

The police want to know everything. I tell them as much as I can, starting with the flight from New York.

"Did he show any signs confrontation then?"

I shake my head no, "I just thought he was annoying. It seemed like he was just trying to hit on me." I hang my head down, I feel so stupid, like I should have seen this coming.

"Did he give you a reason why he was coming to Minneapolis?"  
I have to think before answering, "I don't think so…" The more I think about it the more jumbled my memories get.

"I recognized him when I saw him tonight… I guess he was friends with Finn or something. Finn said that he had mentioned meeting me on the plane. I didn't remember giving him my name but he swore that I did." I should've walked away then. I repeat what he told me about my Uncle, I felt my throat tighten when I got to the part about me not be any luckier than my Uncle.

"Is he- will he be locked up…The Detective in New York said that my Uncle was probably killed by a hit man… Is he going to send someone after me?" My voice is squeaky now.

"It's not likely that he's put a hit on you, we'll know more after we search the house he was staying in. We're just waiting for a warrant."

"But his Dad…" I start.

"Mr. Marvel Quaid Sr. is already in holding in New York, since yesterday. It seems he is the primary suspect."

"What do I do now?" I ask.

"Well, when you finish your statement and sign it, we'll take pictures of your injuries and then you can go home."

Go home… "But what if he did already hire a hit on me." They only said it wasn't likely that he hired a hit already.

"If you feel safer you can stay at a hotel." Gee thanks.

"How long will his sentence be?" Pete asked.

"Depends, we'll be charging him with death threat and attempted abduction."

My eyes narrow, I hadn't heard anything about that yet.

"When they looked through his car, they found rope, duct table and a knife. On his person we found Chloroform."

I can barely even form the question, "What?". Pete's hand tightens around mine.

My mind wants to shut down, he was going to drug me and kidnap me… That seriously almost happened to me. Pictures were taken of my arm and I read through my statement I had given and signed it.

Marv was (or had been) staying with his cousin, Cato. I can vaguely remember going to a party at his house once. Cato had shown as little interest in me as he had with the rest of his guests, I would be surprised if he even remembered me. Apparently Cato denied any involvement, said that he thought he cousin was just coming in for a visit, mentioning that it was planned last minute. Cato claimed that Marv sometimes did take little vacations to get away from his parents, sometimes leaving suddenly. Based off the search of the house, the police thought it unlikely that he had planned on taking me there, had he been successful. They did find photos of me, most were taken in New York City. A list of my classes and my address.

The NYPD shared that Marvel Quaid Sr. invested a few million in deal that Uncle put together. For almost everyone involved, the deal was a complete flop, Uncle was one of the group that not only didn't lose his money, but actually managed to make money. Essentially profiting from his co-investors loss. Naturally, Marv's New York lawyer was already in transit to try to work a deal. The officer tried to reassure me that the evidence against him was pretty good, add that to the fact that he verbally threatened me in front of two police officers and they have a good case. I would be called to testify in the hearing. The police talked to Finn also, who said that he had met Marv through his friend Cato. Since Finn met Marv on Wednesday, and that my name was brought up.

Finn told me later, after apologizing profusely, that Marv asked Finn and two other guys that were hanging out at Cato's if they knew me. "He just said that he had met a cute girl on his flight in that went to school here… I swear, I thought he just had a crush on you. I told him you had a boyfriend. He didn't ask anything else about you and I didn't think anything of it." After that Marv kept calling and asking to hang out. "I swear your name was never mentioned again."

I paid for a lawyer for Gale, who was able to get the assault charges dropped, owing to the fact that Gale had helped thwart Marv's plan. Turns out that Marv had a horrible temper and was unable to harness it. When they brought him into the interrogation room, he proceeded to throw chairs at the two-way mirror and he tried to punch a cop. His lawyer was going to be going to try to play Marv off as a mentally unstable youth, he apparently already had a few assault and battery charges going back from when he turned 18. He actually had gotten kicked out of NYU last year for fighting with a fellow student, the report said that the guy Marv had fought with was knocked unconscious but Marv kept punching him until he was finally pulled off him. The other guy was in the hospital for weeks getting his face put back together.

Pete drove me back to my place, but I insisted on staying somewhere else.

"We can go to my place. Mark and Kate will both be there and I can even turn on the security system. That was a major flaw in my apartment, the dead bolt on the front door was the only security offered. I never had reason to worry about it before, I would often leave my balcony door unlocked, I was on the third floor so it's not like someone could get in easily - but…

I threw some things into an over night bag and Pete texted Mark, giving him the heads up.

As we drove to his house I made him turn around and double back, and then go the long way through the neighborhood.

"It's OK, Katniss," Pete squeezed his hand with mine. When we were in the garage I got out and had a sudden thought, Uncle had put a tracker on Pete's car, we had found it and removed it as soon as we had found out. The Detective had mentioned that it was easy to do. I bent down and looked under the rim of the car.

"Can you get a flashlight?" I asked.

I could tell Pete thought that I was overreacting, but I'd rather him think I was crazy then not check and have someone tracking us.

He handed me a flashlight and I looked all along the bottom, not seeing anything that resembled the tracker we had found earlier. I breath a sigh of relief and hand the flashlight back to Pete.

He pulled me in for a strong hug, "I'm here, Katniss. I won't let anyone hurt you," He spoke into my ear, his breath warm on my neck.

The house was dark and quiet. Pete showed me the security system and switched it on. He made sure the backdoor, front door and the garage door was locked.

"I'll make you some tea," He said and motioned for me to sit on the sofa.

I turned on the TV and was numbly watching the Food Network when Mark came out of his room.

"Oh, hey Katniss," He said looking surprised. Pete came out of the kitchen, "Hey we'll be staying here tonight. I turned the alarm on."

"OK," He said slowly, I could tell he was wondering what the hell was going on. Pete and I rarely (meaning never) spent the night here.

"I sent you a text earlier that we were coming."

"I think my phone's in the car. Kate's here, she heard someone out here and made me get up and check."

"We'll be tucking in here soon too," Pete said and went back to the kitchen. Mark followed him, I knew Pete was telling him what happened tonight. I felt horrible for causing all this drama. Seriously, who has these types of problems! No normal person. His family isn't going to want Pete to be with me, I'd just cause more problems for everyone. Mark steps out a few moments later, "Good night, Katniss. We'll see you in the morning."

Now he was surely telling Kate all about my drama.

Pete stepped out with some tea and sat with me while I sipped the warm chamomile tea. I changed into the sweatpants and top I had brought. Pete's bed had the un-used feel to it, he last slept in it the night we had fought, which was also the night that my Uncle was murdered. I feel restless.

"Shhh," Pete says soothingly, he pulled me closer so my back was flat against his chest, he brought a hand up and started stroking my hair around my face. I closed my eyes and felt my body calming down as I focused on the rhythmic strokes.

My eyes flew open, I was in a dark room that I knew wasn't my bedroom. My body sprang up and I felt like I needed to run, I had to get away. Someone stirs beside me, I push myself away. I recognize Pete's silhouette as he sits up.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

My heart is pounding, had I been dreaming about running from something?

"I don't know," I say pathetically, "I was scared."

He pulls me close to him and comforts me until I fall asleep again.

I wake up again, but this time it's because of a combination of Pete waking up and the sun coming in through the window's blinds.

He kisses my cheek then gets up to get ready for the day.

Kate is already up, fully dressed and reading the newspaper. She looked so put together, nice dark jeans and a simple light blue button up top. Her hair was piled into a clean bun. Just looking at her made me feel more like a mess. This was the type of girl that belonged in a nice family like the Mellarks.

Her head turned when she heard us, "Good morning! I was thinking that maybe we could go out for breakfast this morning."

When I don't respond, Pete agrees that it'd be nice.

"I'll have to drag Mark out of bed, he's still dead to the world."

"Am not," A sleepy voice came from Mark's room.

Pete pours me a cup of coffee and I return to the room to get dressed. I don't really want to go have social hour this morning. It's not that I don't like Kate, she's nice, but I don't feel like being chipper, talkative or bubbly after last night.

Pete comes in as I pull on my sweatshirt.

"Can't I just stay here?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"You don't want to come?" He asks surprised.

I shrug. What I want to do is to disappear from the living world for a few days to wrap my head around everything that's happened.

"It'll be good to sit down and have a nice breakfast. This will get your mind off things. You'd just sit around and dwell and over think everything if you stayed here. "

Part of me knows he's right, but I'd still rather stay in my sweatpants and hide under a blanket. I give him a scowl and braid my hair back.

I put my boots on, I feel like a total frump, with my loose fitted jeans, gray Minnesota sweatshirt (that I pulled over my nightshirt) and my clunky boots. I hadn't been thinking about appearances when I packed yesterday.

I was still scowling when I stood up, I made an over exaggerated show of my arm, "lead the way."

He looked at me for a moment. I wonder for a moment if he's going to scold me, I know I'm acting childish, but I think that I've earned the right after what I've gone through. Instead of scolding me he pulls me in and kisses me. Really kisses me, one of his knee weakening kisses that makes me forget about everything except him. He pulls away, and gives me a self satisfied smirk. If my head wasn't still swimming from his kiss, I'd be totally pissed, he knows exactly the effect he has on me.

"Let's go."

"Mm-K."

The breakfast actually is enjoyable. Everyone orders the calorie and fat laden food that is associated with little diners, such as the one we're in. Double stacks of pancakes, syrup covered waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, eggs in a multitude of ways, and don't forget the bacon. We get a large dish of fruit for the middle of the table, after everyone stuffs themselves, we sit drinking the last of our coffee and picking at the fruit.

Kate's conversation slips into "wedding mode".

The wedding is set for mid-June.

"The church that I grew up with is available, we were going to go with an outdoor ceremony, but I think this will be better. There's a large park just two blocks down the road that I was able to book for the reception. The only thing is that the park was very clear that the reception has to be over with by midnight... Mark wanted to have an evening ceremony and have a late reception-"

"No, Mark was wanting to elope and go to a sports bar for an after party," Mark interrupts.

She rolls her eyes, "I'll let you pass that idea by my Mom. Or better yet, your Grandma." Kate looks over at me, "Grandma Mellark wanted to come with me when I was trying on my dresses, but _unfortunately_ I picked a weekend that didn't work for her. I wasn't looking forward to her scolding me on my posture."

"Your posture?" I asked.

"When we announced our engagement last year, she said that at least our long engagement would give me time to work on not slouching. She suggested not hunching over a microscope as much."

"She thinks I'm perfect," Mark said with a grin.

Pete lets out a snort of laughter, "Please. Charlie's her favorite. She thinks you still have some growing up to do. The only thing she says about Charlie is that he needs to find a nice girl."

"News on that score," Mark says with an air of a gossipy hen, "Mom mentioned that he's flying in weekend after next and bringing a girl with him."

"I'm sure Grandma Mellark has her old engagement ring ready to hand over," Kate says with a roll of her eyes, "You know what she said to me when she first met me?" The question is directed to me. "She said that she wouldn't have let _her_ daughter study science. Most men wouldn't find that appealing. But I was so lucky that Mark was able to look past that."

I tried to remember the conversation I had with her. She asked me what I planned on doing after school, but I don't remember any comments like her comments to Kate. She actually didn't seem too interested in me... Was that good or bad?

Pete and I hung out at his house for a little while, before deciding to go back to my apartment. Pete said he'd put a chain lock on the front door, which gave me a little piece of mind, but I wanted the full security system that Pete had.

I changed into my sweats and made a vague attempt at studying before switching a movie on. I had tried to make a drink around noon, but Pete stopped me, "I won't let you sit around and get wasted."

"It's just a drink," I mumble, but turn around and sulk back to my spot on the sofa. He sits next to me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Drinking won't help, Katniss. You're stronger than that." He starts kissing along my jaw line.

"You can't just kiss me and make everything all better, you know?" I say and cross my arms firmly over my chest.

He stops and looks at me. My skin along my jaw and neck is still tingling from his kisses, "I didn't say stop."

He smiles and starts kissing with more passion.

Jo showed up unannounced later than evening, punching me in the shoulder, "Way to cause the drama, brainless." She plops down next to my spot on the sofa, "I was at Gale's, he wants to know how you're doing?"

"Tell him to come up," I say quickly.

After Jo texts him she looks at Pete, who is on the other side of me, "I think you have competition to be Kat's knight in shining armor."

"Pete doesn't have competition anywhere," I say firmly.

When Gale knocks I let him in. I saw him briefly at the police station last night, but I didn't get a chance to talk to him. After he steps in, I give him a hug. His body stalls, obviously surprised. I know I was never exactly friendly towards him and have certainly never had any physical contact with him (other than our hands brushing together as we passed a joint). Shortly after he puts his arms around me I pull away and look at him, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it… Thank you for the lawyer, it won't even be on my record thanks to him."

Pete gives Gale a firm handshake and thanks him also.

There is a slight awkwardness in the air, the movie I had been watching earlier, Pirates of the Caribbean still playing on the TV.

Pete invites them to stay for dinner. When he asks what sounds good I don't give an opinion, I'd be fine not eating, but when Pete makes the suggestion of Indian take-out, I am quick to say which dish I'd like. A mass amount of food is ordered and Pete stands to leave shortly after to go pick it up. I start to feel panicky, Pete had been by my side (or not more that a few yards away) since last night. My sense of panic seems ridiculous, he'll be right back and I won't even be alone. Pete picks up on my anxiety and pulls me into the bedroom.

His hand rests on my cheek, "You'll be fine, Katniss. Gale and Jo will be here with you, and I'll be right back. It won't even take me 15 minutes."

I know I'll survive, but the comfort that I feel when he's around is incomparable. I am completely dependent on him.

I sit back down in my spot on the sofa and wrap myself up in a blanket. I'm sure I look an absolute mess. Gale and Jo keep the conversation mostly between them. Unfortunately they were mostly talking about last night.

"Your glimmering girlfriend didn't seem to pleased," Jo teased.

Gale scoffed, "She was just pissed that I left her in the middle of the dance floor alone… Thought it made her look stupid."

"Yeah, _that's _what made her look stupid."

Gale sends a glance my way before saying, "When Finn said that you two were going to be joining us, Marv started ordering shots for us and pounding them back, he asked Finn twice if your boyfriend was going to be with you… I thought he was going to try to hit on you or something."

"Yeah, definitely add "or something" onto that one," Jo snorted.

"When I met him on the plane, I thought he was just flirting with me…" I trail off, I feel stupid for not seeing it. I don't add any more to their conversations and sit quietly staring at the coffee table. The credits of the movie start rolling and Jo jumps up and puts in a new movie. She picks The Simpson's Movie. A comedy is a good choice, if she had chosen a horror flick or even an action one I would've left the room. When Pete returns we set up the food on the coffee table and everyone digs in. Sitting around in our group of four was actually calming. They stayed until the movie was over and I almost thought about asking them to stay for another, but didn't want them to feel like they had to.

The next day was Monday… school. Marv was locked up and according to the police he'd probably be in there for a while. I still felt jumpy. Choosing to sit in the back of all my classes so I could have my back to a wall. My last class was close to my apartment and I ran the whole six blocks through the gray slush that was covering the ground. My jeans were soaked and disgusting. I peeled them off and then climbed into a hot bath and planned on staying there till Pete came. His usual arrival time came and went and I got out of the bath and threw my sweats on again. I checked my phone for the tenth time, still no calls. I tried calling him, it went straight to voice mail. I tried again 5 minutes later with the same result, his phone must be turned off. I was practically in tears thinking of all the horrible things that could have happened. His last class was across the river on the East Bank, so usually drove - what if he had a car accident. What if someone attacked him. I jumped when I heard the front door lock click… What if someone else has a key. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see him, before shouting, "Where were you?" Yeah, OK, I'm overreacting, I know. I can't help but be on edge.

"I had to stop by my place to get some things," He looks alarmed by my reaction.

"Oh," I say meekly. The fall onto the sofa, "I was worried."

He sits next to me and kisses my forehead.

I lean into him, "You should move in with me… You practically live here any way."

He's quiet for a moment, "I'll let you know next time I'll be later than usual, but-" My face flushes red as I realize that I just asked my boyfriend of a few months to live with me "I think it's better to have separate official living areas… My parents don't believe that two people should live together until they're married."

Oh.

"Mark and I have a deal, he won't tell how much time I spend over here, and I won't tell how Kate has practically moved in."

"But they're engaged."

"But not married yet… They're looking for houses now, together… I think it's a nice idea."

I'm startled, he had always seemed completely for the idea of spending every night here.

"Not living together, officially, until being married… I know it's kind of old fashion, but there's something romantic about carrying a bride across the threshold of the first home you'll share together."

An image of Pete carrying _me_ into our first home together flashes through my mind. My heart clenches, I could lie and say that it was because I was scared of the thought, but really it's because what Pete said, it does sound nice.

"That does sound more romantic," I said quietly, suddenly feeling shy.


	27. Chapter 27

I sit nervously in my class on Tuesday. There was only a few minutes left, then I was going to drive to meet Mr. Volts. I drum my fingers on the edge of the chair, I get a nasty look from the guy in front of me, so I stop. It was going to be strange seeing someone that had been close to my Dad, it's been years since I had contact with anyone who actually _knew_ my family. This morning, when I was dressing for the day, I had made an effort to look pulled together. I didn't want to see my Dad's old friend seeing me looking like the mess of a person I felt I still was. Pete and I spent the last two nights in my apartment, the new chain lock gave me some sense of security. I was ready to move though. My lease wouldn't be up for a few months, but I don't care about breaking it early, or the fee it will cost me.

With the help of my map quest directions I found his office without trouble. The second and third floor were dedicated to the law firm that Mr. Volts was now a part of, his office was located on the third floor.

I was lead right to his office by his secretary.

B.T. Volts hadn't changed much, his hair that had always been thin was a little thinner, and he had on a suit and tie, I had always seen him in a dress shirt and khakis. It made him seem more like a real lawyer instead of a family friend.

His eyes light up when I walk in, "Kat Everdeen! You are all grown up!"

I shift uncomfortably, "I guess so."

"Have a seat, have a seat!" He motions one of the chairs in front of him, "Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, water?" His secretary is waiting for my answer.

"Coffee please," I say, "Black."

"Just like your Father. He always thought I was mad for putting sugar in mine."

I had forgotten that my Dad liked his coffee black. It's such a small detail, but it makes me realize that I don't think about him often, I try not to. I'm starting to forget about him.

My coffee arrives in mug with a saucer.

"So, what can I do for you?" He asks after I've taken a sip and set it down in front of me.

I pull out the folder I had created with all the documents I had received from Mr. Gunn.

I had it over and explain that (basically) I'll need someone to help with all the legal matters surrounding my Uncle's estate.

He starts looking through everything.

"Well. Seems like you have quite the fortune now… If you liquidate everything, about 760 millions dollars… Quite a sum."

When I mention that I want to look into the investments before deciding what exactly I want to do, he comes up with a card for an accountant that he knows well and trusts (Can you actually trust an accountant?).

"The taxes will probably take a big chunk out of it, I'm sure we can try to work something out to minimize the amount." He clicks numbers into his computer, "It'll probably be around 230 million. You'll still have over half a billion dollars." He taps his pen on his desk, "I strongly suggest having a beneficiary listed in a Will, we can get one started today."

My face pales, "I don't have any family… My boyfriend is the person I'm closest to."

He lets out a sad sigh, "I'm glad you are close to someone, but I wouldn't recommend using a boyfriend. You need something a bit more permanent."

Like a husband.

He continues, "If I may add, on a personal level," He thinks for a moment, organizing his words, "I urge you to be careful. Such a large amount of money can change people. Greed can bring out the worst in people. Keep your good friends close and try not to change yourself."

Not trying to change to subject, but I want him to know, "They have the man who is responsible for my Uncle's murder."

"Oh," Mr. Volts says simply, he knows that I'm going to say more about it.

I continue, "My Uncle and him and a business deal that didn't go well and the man lost a lot of money… The son followed me here and attacked me over the weekend. He's in jail right now…"

Mr. Volts is silent for a moment and is about to speak, but I start talking again, "He wanted to kidnap me, but one of my friends saved me… I don't have many friends, but I do trust those that I do have."

"You've had enough hardships for a lifetime, Kat," He says then we sit quietly for a moment longer. Then we turn the conversation back to business. I make a promise to research different charitable organizations that I would want to leave my money to, if the worst should happen.

"We can always have things re-written when you get married and with any kids," He tells me… The casual way he mentions it makes it seem like it's inevitable.

"There is little I can do regarding the trusts set up for your kids and grandkids. I don't know if this Brutus Gunn mentioned it, but the trust will be divided up equally between your kids once the oldest turns 18, if you have any kids after the oldest is 18 they will be excluded."

"Why?" I ask, I don't know why I even care, I'm not having kids… Let alone, having them be almost two decades apart.

"Well, once the oldest would turn 18, they would be in charge of their own portion, in order for that to happen, it would be have to be set whether they would have a half, third, fourth, etc. It's similar to the Grandchildren. If you do not have any children or if your children don't have any children, the trusts will be transferred as a donation."

I nod, I remember Mr. Gunn talking about that.

After signing several documents, the arrangements were set for Mr. Volts and his firm to take over for Mr. Gunn.

"I should be able to get the monetary funds transferred to your account in about 10 business days, I'll be in touch regarding that. Let me know what you decide with the investments, I am more than happy to work with any accountant you choose. I'm sure you have a busy schedule with school and all. If you need anything, or have any questions, please give me a call." He hands me a new business card and writes his cell and home phone number on the back.

He stands and walks around his desk, "I am so happy to see you again, Kat." He gives me a hug the nods to his bookcase, I look over and see the same picture of him and my Dad. "Your Father was a good man… You remind me a lot of him."

"Thanks."

"We should have dinner together sometime, you can bring this boyfriend of yours… I'd very much like to meet him."

That would be an awkward dinner.

"That sounds nice." Please don't hold me to it.

Later that day I call and set up an appointment with the accountant Mr. Volts recommended for the very next day after my classes are done for the day. We spend hours going over all the different options I had and getting everything set up. I can go to a website and check in on any of my funds whenever I choose and call him on his cell whenever I have questions on anything.

Pete and I didn't talk about the money too much, I think it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like me to pay for things when we're out grabbing dinner, always the gentlemen, he insists on paying for everything. Even for his birthday, he says he doesn't want a present. His birthday was quickly approaching and I brought the subject up yet again.

"Just tell me what you want?" I say with a scowl, "I don't see why you're so stubborn."

"I don't need anything, just you," He says and gives me a kiss.

"Yeah, yeah," I say with an eye roll, "That's what you keep saying."

"And you keep asking. Wouldn't that make you the stubborn one?" He pulls me close and starts kissing my neck.

"If you'd give me a real answer I'd stop asking," I retort, trying to ignore the fluttery feeling in my stomach as his hands slide from my waist to my hips.

"You can't win _every _argument with kisses."

He pulls away and gives me a smirk, "This isn't an argument, it's you being stubborn."

I give him another scowl instead of responding. He leans in to resume his kisses, but I stop him.

"I'm serious, I want you to have a nice birthday. Let me do something for you."

He wags his eyebrows suggestively at me, "We can do something for each other."

When I don't show any signs of backing down he sighs.

"Now, it's on a Wednesday. Do you want to wait to celebrate till the weekend?" I ask.

"I know Mark wants to go out on Friday… we could join him and Kate for dinner and meet some friends for drinks after," He reluctantly suggests.

"That'd be fun," I say, trying to put some enthusiasm in the idea, "What do you want to do on Wednesday? Do you want a cake?"

"Are you going to make it?" He asks, the amusement in his eyes increases when he sees my agitation.

"How about I order one from the bakery?"

"How about you bake it yourself, that can be your gift to me."

"I'd probably either burn down the kitchen or poison the cake, not much of a gift. I'm sure the bakery will do an awesome job."

"I'm sure I'll like yours better than any bakery."

"From a box?" I ask hopefully, add some canned icing and I can probably manage.

He looks at me with a serious expression, "You would give me a box cake for my birthday?"

"OK, ok, I'll try to bake one - you'll regret it, but I'll try."

Crap. This is stupid. I'm looking through countless pictures of elaborate birthday cakes, I had googled "birthday cake" it had seemed like the simplest solution, pictures of ridiculous cakes filled the screen. I just wanted a freaking simple birthday cake, if I wanted to know how to make a cake like a princess castle or a fire truck, I would have asked. Seriously, a tie dyed tee shirt cake? Who? Who would seriously make that? I needed a cook book, but I've never had the need. I rephrase my search to "easiest cake recipe" and I find something that I can use. I print out the recipe and set it aside, thankful that I don't have to worry about that yet. I'll need to get everything mentioned in the recipe, from the sugar to the baking pan.

I force myself to open my books and start my school work, it's been a lot harder to concentrate lately. I haven't had any coke since I was in New York. At Pete's suggestion I actually _gave away_ what I had left. Jo happily accepted the free baggie with at least 2 grams in it; I gritted my teeth and tried not to over think it. I still don't like to think about it, but sometimes I can't help it. I try to ignore the vague feeling of being sick and have been trying not to be a complete grouch (with Pete any way, everyone else is fair game, especially Jo – who finds it hilarious). On my 11th day without, which was also a week after the "Marv incident", I didn't want to get out of bed. Pete came back in around noon. He curled up next to me, "Do you want to grab some lunch?" He asked.

I groan and pull the covers over my head.

"Are you feeling OK?" He asks.

"I feel like crap," I snap angrily, then chide myself, Pete doesn't deserve my grouchiness… though he _was_ the one that said I should give the stuff away. I lower the covers and look at him, "Sorry."

He kisses my forehead, the look he gives me is a little _too_ "knowing", probably read up on addiction withdrawal already. I start to feel pissed off over that look. So freakin' superior, whatever he knows he learned from a text book or the internet.

"Come on, we can get some coffee and something to eat." He kisses my cheek then kisses right below my ear. The fluttery feeling this causes, upsets me, does he seriously think he can make me feel better by kissing me?

"Just go yourself if you're so freaking hungry! Leave me alone," I push him away and roll over.

He pauses for a moment, I feel the mattress shift as he stands up. He closes the bedroom door quietly, probably thinking loud noises will set me off. The feeling of annoyance lasts less than a minute before I'm throwing my covers off and jumping out of bed. What if he's left already? I can't stand the feeling of him thinking I'm mad at him. I fling the bedroom door open and race down the short hall. I skid to a stop in front of the kitchen where Pete is standing, he had been grabbing a plate from the cabinet but he stopped moving and was watching me, waiting for me to say or do something.

I stay silent for a few moments then say meekly, "I'm sorry." Tears start streaming down my cheeks, I'm such a mess of a person. He sets the plate down and holds his arm open and I quickly take the few steps to him and let him hold me.

"You don't have to be sorry," He murmurs as he nuzzles into my hair (that's currently as tangled as a rat's nest).

"I don't want to be mean to you, I'm trying so hard," I take a few shaky breaths, "You don't deserve it… you're so good…I-I don't want you to get fed up with me and leave."

He pulls away and cups my face with his hands, "I love you. I won't "get fed up". I'll love you forever."

Forever can be such a comforting word.

"You won't leave? You promise you'll stay with me?" I ask quietly, I feel so weak needing this reassurance from him.

"Always," He whispers in my ear.

Forever and always, my new favorite words.


	28. Chapter 28

OK, Katniss. Everything you need is right here. I take a breath and start. It's Pete's birthday today, I skipped my last class, I enjoyed the giddy feeling of not being where I'm supposed to be for a few minutes before starting on the task at hand. The cake. The directions are simple, phew.

After spending forever mixing everything, my arm is killing me and I regret the fact that I don't have a mixer. I didn't see the point in buying one just to have it clutter up the kitchen; I do not plan on baking in the near future. If Pete asks for a homemade cake again next year, maybe I'll consider buying one… maybe. Besides, if I do get a mixer, then Pete might take that as reason to ask for more baked goods (oh the horror).

I dump the goop in the pan and put it in the oven. I collapse on the sofa. I was slaving away in the kitchen for (I check the time on my phone) 25 minutes. Stupid recipe said the prep time was only 15, liars. My mind is running through a stream of curse words and my frustration with the cake turns in to a general anxiety over everything, damn it. I lift the purple rubber band that's wrapped around my wrist up an inch then let go and it snaps against my skin. I grab a glass of water and finish it in a few gulps, then let out a long and slow breath.

I started keeping a thick rubber band on my wrist (I think it originally came from a broccoli floret), whenever the craving would get really band I'd snap the band on my wrist. It actually helped. The idea had come from a diet trick I heard a girl in my class talking about, whenever she wanted to eat something that wasn't allowed on her diet, she'd snap her wrist. Pete wasn't a big fan of the idea, especially since (on bad days) I can have some angry welts on my wrist. But it's not like it was some form of self mutilation or something, it just helped me bring my focus off of the "need". It helped… to some degree.

I start to smell the cake and I take it as a good sign that it smells good. To my relief, when I open the oven door, it looks like it's supposed to.

I do as the recipes tells me and flip it upside down to cool. The next step of getting the freakin' thing out of the freakin' pan, doesn't go too well. The cake seems practically glued to the damn pan. I forgot to freakin' grease the damn pan. I use a knife to cut around the edges, but I can't get to the bottom. The thought of some how cutting the pan's edges off, crosses my mind, maybe wire cutters or something. Instead I let out an aggravated groan and stomp my foot, I pick up the stupid pan and almost throw it across the room or out the window, but instead I just slam it back down on the counter. I am not putting my freaking arm through all that mixing again. I grab my keys and purse and slam the door behind me.

I practically storm in to Target and grab a cart. I'm sure I scared the wits out of some small children as I stomp around the store. I buy what I need and I'm sure I'm still scowling. The cashier eyes me nervously, hasn't she ever seen someone buying a mixer and a cake pan in a angry rage before?! I snap my rubber band twice, which causes the stupid cashier to eye me even more nervously. I put an illegible scroll of a signature on the electronic box. I feel like a cake (a cake!) has beat me in a battle of wits.

I run into Jo and Finn, who by the looks of it are leaving Gale's, in the hallway. The mixing box's weight is slowly separating my arms from my shoulders.

"What the hell?" Jo asks, and Finn takes the box from me. I roll my shoulders in a few circles.

"You're too pretty to be carry heavy things, little lady," Finn says with his overly flirtatious charm and an exaggerated wink, "Allow me." I roll my eyes and we start to walk up the stairs.

"What do you need a mixer for?" Jo asks, following behind Finn.

I grumble incoherently for a while before the words, "Birthday cake," come out of my mouth.

My scowl deepens as Jo laughs her way up to my apartment.

"You already have a cake," Jo points, unnecessarily, to the cake sitting on the counter.

Just drop the freaking mixer off and leave! I start to empty the box.

Finn takes a look in the pan with the mangled version of a cake, "Forgot to grease the pan?" I clench my teeth together, shut up, shut up, shut up.

I can tell that Jo is enjoying herself, she's propped up on the counter, clearly planning on staying to watch the "show". Finn helps me get everything set up

"I have on a date with Annie on Saturday," He tells me. Jo lets out a groan, "Don't get started on her again! Honestly, I already have to put up with the Petniss lovebirds."

I stop being frustrated to be amused for a moment, "Petniss?" Then I process what Finn had said, "Annie? Annie from Nordstrom?"

"Annie Cresta," Finn says almost dreamily (which causes Jo to groan again), "She gave me her number at the bar-" He stops and awkwardness hangs in the air. Yeah the night that some drunk idiot tried to hatch a master kidnapping plot, that night?

"Yeah yeah yeah, love at first sight," Jo says with an eye roll, "Honestly, you two make it look easy. What's a girl gotta due to get a guy?"

I scoff, "I don't think you have a problem getting guys."

"Yeah, I've had no shortage of dickheads."

"Well, Gale's ditched the Glimmer-ing idiot, give that another go," I tell her, really not caring what she does (I know, I know, she's my friend and I should care, but she's the type of friend that always pisses you off, but I'm sure I'm that type of friend for her too - we level it out some how).

"I'm not blonde enough or Katniss-enough for that to work, I'm collecting my losses and moving on from that train wreck," Jo rolls her eyes.

I almost ask, but decide against it, if Gale still has a crush on me (God I hope he doesn't talk about it) I don't want to hear about it, that whole thing is just weird. I managed to get through high school without any guy taking any interest or developing "crushes" on me, and while I enjoy the level of desire I bring out of Pete, with other people it still weirds me out. Plus, I need to be friends with Gale, I don't need any more of this stupid "crush" business of his.

Jo breaks the silence by bursting into laughter, Finn and I both look at her startled.

"Sorry," She says with a laugh, "Was just thinking about what I'd call you two… Fannie." She bursts into laughter again at her clever wit of putting Finn and Annie together. Judging by how prolonged her laughter is, I'm betting they were smoking at Gale's.

"Come on, Jo. I've got to get home."

Still chuckling to herself, she slides off the counter. "Tell Pete Happy Birthday. Hope your cake doesn't kill him." She's damn lucky I didn't throw something at her, like my first attempt at a cake.

Pete walks in the door shortly after I pull the cake out of the oven. I had greased the shit out of the pan, so it had better freaking slide right out this time.

He stops and takes in the scene before him. The box the mixer came in was thrown off to the side along with all the packaging. Counters a complete mess and the sink filled with dirty dishes.

"How's it going?" He asks, I can tell he's trying not to laugh or smile.

I narrow my eyes at him, "Fine."

He steps over the box and moves towards me to give me a kiss. He sees the two cake pans, and stares at them for a while. I can see his resolve not to laugh is starting to break.

"The first cake didn't turn out too well," I mumble.

He gives me another kiss, I pull away and point my finger at him, "And I don't care how horrible this one tastes, you can NOT say anything bad about it."

He grins and gives me a nod.

I start making the icing… around the time that the powdered sugar pooffed up in my face, as I was trying to dump the bag in the bowl, Pete offered to help.

"Nice mixer," Pete says and he adds some vanilla to the bowl.

"Don't think, that I'm going to use it often. Birthday cakes only."

He nods solemnly but his eyes twinkle at me and I can't help but smile, he doesn't even need to say it, I'm being ridiculous.

"You were really worried about that, huh," He teases, "You handled yourself pretty well in the kitchen with Christmas cookies."

"That was different, _you _did most of the work. I mostly put in them in and pulled them out of the oven."

"And you didn't burn a single one," He says proudly, like it had been some great achievement.

I roll my eyes. He nudges my hip with his, "I'll be perfectly happy with birthday cakes only… Does this mean I get another one next year."

"I'll make you a birthday cake every year if you want," I say with a shrug as I scrap the bowl down with a spatula. My face flushes, I feel slightly embarrassed and a little scared over my statement. He's talked of "forever" before, and I love the thought of being with him forever… I've never said anything aloud that implied that I intended to be with him forever.

He sends his fingers lightly up my arm and I meet his gaze, "I'd love that." His voice is a little gruffer and his eyes turn the shade of blue that looks so deep I get dizzy staring into them. The look his eyes are giving me in clear, love.

**A/N: A short chapter yes, but rather sweet I think. The next chapter is practically finished so it should be up shortly Probably only have a half dozen chapter left (at most, probably, maybe). I have a rough draft (mentally) finished, and I think I know how I'm going to end it. Naturally I welcome any and all suggestions.**


	29. Chapter 29

Warm weather came and my life had transformed as much as the outdoors had. After unsuccessfully searching for an apartment to rent that had anything by way of an adequate security system, I decided to buy one.

The Mill District was less than a half mile from my old apartment and was a new trendy spot, and it was also my new home. The price tag on my two bedroom two bath 3,000 square foot apartment was 1.2 million dollars (I know, jaw dropping), I absolutely love it. I was on the top floor with a huge rooftop deck that over looked the river and the stone arch bridge that crossed it. The whole apartment building used to be a warehouse and the apartment had an "unfinished but modern" look to it. At first I felt like I wasn't cool enough to live here (never having considered myself as "trendy"), but I got used to it pretty damn fast. The master bathroom was huge with a whirlpool tub that I've already soaked in several times. The den/library has built in shelves that reached to the ceiling and the living room hosts a huge fireplace. I have an actual guest bedroom that Jo has been taking advantage of routinely. I have almost thought of asking her to move in, almost. I don't think we'd really mesh well as roomies, there are times when she drives me crazy, and that's when she's just spending the night - her vulgar jokes in the morning about Pete and mine's "bedroom business" don't go over well with me, though I try to ignore them.

I put in a top of the line security system and there was a controlled access on the ground floor with video. My over paranoid self was satisfied when I was told how there were also camera in the stairwells and elevator.

After splurging on the apartment I went even further and had someone decorate it for me, nothing elaborate, but it was awesome to live in an apartment that looks like it belongs in a magazine. When Jo had first came to my new apartment her jaw had dropped open, "Jesus Christ, Kat! Just how fucking loaded around you?!"

I had declined to answer her, and I didn't think she really wanted an answer. Apart from teasing me occasionally (OK, often), she doesn't really ask for details. I think it was pretty obvious that my late billionare Uncle left me _something_, especially after the "Marv-incident". However, it appears that even Jo has enough tact to know that I don't really want to bandy my wealth around, of course this doesn't stop her from asking me to pick the tab up at the bar or inviting herself over for dinner. She's also been borrowing my clothes more, especially since I started having Annie pick things out special for me at Nordstom, I went in there at the beginning of spring and she had several items pulled for me to choose from, because of her I've gone from the hum-drum sweatpants to class to actually having _outfits_ like multiple items of clothing mixed together, not just a tee shirt or sweater and jeans or sweatpants. I have an appointment to get my summer wardrobe (I'll have a wardrobe just for summer, I never thought that I would be excited about that).

I used the move into my new apartment to be a time to start over. I'll still have a drink or two during the evening and occasionally I'll smoke a joint with Jo, or if Gale and Finn come over (which happens every now and then - Finn and Annie are currently attached at the hip, so I've seen her a few times outside of Nordstrom, weird at first). I was never too worried about weed, it was always the blow. The damn coke that I still think about practically every day. I don't know what pisses me off more, the fact that I could get it so easily or the fact that I want it, really want it.

Marv got sentenced to 6 years, I've been told that I'd be lucky if he served 3 of those years, if he has good behavior (I'm keeping my fingers crossed for lots of his temper flare ups) 3 years for trying to kidnap me and for threatening my life, hardly seems fair. His Dad is serving a life setence in New York, plus when the police took a harder look at him they were able to not only charging him with the murder of my Uncle, but also found him guilty of insider trading and tax evasion, his financial life was in complete ruins (pales in comparison to the murder rap, but made him seem like a over all bad guy to the jury deciding his sentence). I wished that they moved Marv back to New York, the thought of his still being around here (even if he is behind bars) is unnerving. I started taking a self defense course and found that I was really pretty good at throwing punches. The class lasted 6 weeks, we were taught basic fighting moves and how to get out of different situations, but also to be more aware of your surroundings and to try to avoid situations that could turn dangerous (drug deals are right up there with passing out at parties, FYI), a lot of it was common sense, but it certainly made me focus on those around me more. Another benefit of the class was that the physical exertion required helped me forget about the drug cravings, even if it was only for a little while. I had gotten the same feeling when I was younger and played soccer to "cope" with my parents and sister's death. When the 6 week class had finished, evidence of springtime started appearing, pre-dawn the air was cold and brisk, but as the day wore on (if the sun was shinning) warmth would fill the air, encouraging everyone to get outside.

I joined the throng of students running around the campus, running became my new addiction, when the blood was pounding through my veins I forgot about my desire for the damn blow. I even joined a "group" of sorts, nothing official, but every Saturday and Sunday morning just before dawn a dozen of us would meet at the stadium to run the stairs, racing in groups of two or three. I had seen the girl from my French class, Wiress, out running and she had been the one to tell me about it. We developed a routine, her apartment was basically just on the other side of the stone arch bridge (a pedestrian path across the Mississippi right by my apartment), I'd cross over and have a cup of coffee at her place, she had two roommates that I've only seen glimpses of (according to Wiress they aren't morning people), then we'd run the mile and a half to the stadium together. Pete joins us sometimes on Sundays, he made quick friends and learned most of the names of the people that came regularly (I still only knew Wiress's name, and was fine with that). Mark graduated and was planning on starting an internship at an IT company in July, after the wedding and honeymoon. He talked me into joining their rec soccer team, so I got to know Mark and Kate a bit better. Every now and then I'd join their night-before-the-game-party, but not often. Pete took the MCAT late April and did awesome on it, he actually got a perfect score of 15 on the verbal reasoning section, his total score was a 42 out of a possible 45 points. The stress and tension that had been mounting over the past few months suddenly dissipated.

"Now, all I have to do is go to Med School," Pete joked.

At least twice a week we went to a park, Mounds Spring Park, where we first met, it became our "usual spot". He'd even get me to sing on occasion.

We had spread a blanket under a tree and had been lounging in the sunshine for a while, when Pete comes up with an idea to go camping. I haven't gone camping since I was a little girl, my Dad would take us out at least once a summer. Pete has told me that his Dad would regularly take him and his brothers camping. Now, Pete and Mark started a tradition with some of their friends to go camping for a weekend before school started. I have to laugh at myself when I remember when he asked me to join them and I teased him about trying to lure me into the forest to perform some sadistic sacrifice or something (jeez, I basically called him a devil worshiper... and he still fell for me, crazy).

"If we do, we'll have to do it properly," I said, quickly getting excited, "For a full week."

Miles away from society, no electronics, fishing for our meals, I feel absolutely giddy just thinking about it.

We decide to wait until after Mark and Kate's wedding, which was fast approaching. Now that I was on their rec soccer team, I got to see them more often; Mark was relaxed, if any one would ask for information on the wedding he'd reply vaguely "June 13th in the afternoon." Since the wedding was actually on the 14th, Kate was naturally on edge, I heard her snap at him once before the game, "The 13th is on a Friday, the 14th is a Saturday. We-are-getting-married-on-a-Saturday!" She threw up her hands, "Why do you answer questions you don't know the answer to…Are you even going to show up for the wedding!" She ended in a shriek. Then stormed off the field to her car, her VW Jetta's tires squealed as she left the parking lot. Mark was frozen in place, I don't know if Kate had even yelled at him before, judging from his expression I'd say no.

"Are you going to go after her?" I asked.

"You can't go, we only have 1 sub now," Kevin told him (practically whined).

My emotional girlie side flares and I kick the soccer ball at Kevin's head. *smack*.

"Heads up," I call to him after the fact.

"We need to make this an all-boys team," He grumbles (sounding like an eight year old) and glares at me.

"OK, enough drama," Mark says snapping back to attention, "Game time."

Kate was missing from the next game, Mark told everyone that she was too busy.

"Princess is probably scared of getting a bruise," Enobaria said with an eye roll. I bit my cheek to stop from making a retort, Enobaria played our goalie and I cannot stand her. Kate is one of the few on the team that tries to be nice to her, but she's just a self-absorbed bitch. As goalie she has the best view of the field, so she should be calling out useful information, but instead she decides to wait until after the fact to yell what we did wrong, usually pretty pointless information, "Don't let him get past you!" No shit. At least she was a good at guarding the goal, she had this menacing look going on and I'm sure it scared the other teams.

The week before the wedding, I got invited to Kate's bachelorette party, but me being the socially anorexic person I am, refused. I was doing better about putting myself in social situations, I'm on a soccer team aren't I? But the thought of being surrounded by Kate's friends who I'm sure were just as smart and pretty as her, didn't sound like fun. They were probably planning on go to some male strip-club and I had absolutely no desire to watch some greasy man thrust his junk around on stage, I don't care if that makes me sound juvenile or immature, that's just... ick. I still sent her a gift for the party, a gift card to a local spa. Didn't want her to think that I was completely dissing her.

I didn't realize when I refused the invitation that Mark was having his bachelor party the same night, and naturally Pete being a groomsmen he went. So here I am, sitting alone at home. I kind of regret not going to Kate's party now, kind of. I send a text to Jo, asking if she wants to come over, but its Saturday night, she's probably already out dancing and grinding on some guy. I don't mind the solitude, it's actually nice. I decide to relish in it for the time being. I roll a joint to bring up to my deck, I don't smoke nearly as often as I used to, but it is a nice way to let the mind wander when there's nothing else to do. I don't like going in public stoned any more, it just freaks me out too much, I like to be ultra-aware of my surroundings since I took that self-defense class. I grab a bottle of beer from the fridge (we now only keep beer and wine at home *sigh*) and head out onto my large deck. I pull one of the cushions off the outdoor lounge chair and onto the floor. Setting my beer and phone next to me I spark the joint then lay down. It was a clear night, the sliver of the moon was small but still shined brightly against the inky sky, there were a few stars visible. My mind wandered as I took in the vastness of the sky. I brought the joint to my mouth and realized that it was out. I don't know how long I stayed out there, but I was just starting to think that I'd be happy to sleep out here, when a loud buzzing sound made me jump, my heart was racing as I realized it was my phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm down here at the door, I've been trying to beep you from the annoying security thing but you aren't answering, let me in already."

My brain feels fuzzy, I must have actually fell asleep, it takes me a moment to process (I hadn't looked at my caller ID), "Jo?"

"Who do you think brainless?" She's getting impatient, she hates the front door security system for the building.

"Hold on, I'll buzz you in," I say and hang up. I walk to the wall by my front door to the high-tech video security system the building has, I hit the "view" button and see Jo standing outside, arms crossed, obviously annoyed. I press the button to open the building door and click off the video screen. I go to the kitchen sink and splash some water on my face. I look at the time on, 11:30. I wonder how long Pete will be out with the guys, is it going to turn out like one of those movies where they wake up in Mexico with tattoos or something. I don't know what the plan for his bachelor party was, a stripper in a cake? Prostitutes? I can't let myself think of things like that, Pete wouldn't do anything wrong, he loves me… What if one of Mark's friends slips everyone some ecstasy or something… Jo's knock on the door brings me out of my "worst case scenario" thought process.

I open the door for her.

"Oh you didn't have to get all dolled up for me," Jo says. I look down, I have a pair of running shorts and one of Pete's white tee-shirts on.

"Only the best for you," I grumble, "Want a beer?"

"Sure, where's lover boy?"

"Brother's bachelor party."

"Wanna go crash it?" She asks.

"No."

"Come on, I'll dress up as a hooker, we'll get you a mustache and fur coat so you can go as my pimp. They're probably in some obnoxious stretch hummer or something, I'm sure we can find it."

I hand her a beer, "How about we go chill on the deck?"

I bring my iPod and speakers out with us and turn on some music, Rolling Stones "Dead Flowers" plays first.

We smoke the rest of the joint between us and I'm actually surprised that Jo is quiet, for a while anyways.

"I bet you Fannie will be engaged or married soon. They've been inseparable…. She's nice an all, I guess. But now he's all committed and doesn't want to go prowling with me anymore."

"Prowling?" I ask with a smirk, picturing Jo and Finn lurking around in some dark alley, hunting for a mate.

"Yeah, that's what we did… Not all of us are lucky enough to find Prince Charming while singing and dancing with little forest animals, you know." She takes a drink from her beer, then looks at me, "I'm rather surprised that you two aren't married yet."

I keep my gaze forward, if I make eye contact with her she'll view that as an invitation to continue this conversation. Don't look at her, don't look at her.

She huffs, "You know that some girls view pre-med guys as a golden ticket right… Especially one as delicious looking as Perfect Pete. I'm sure he'll have more than a few girls hot on his ass, his hot ass."

"Stop talking about Pete's ass," I snap.

"I won't be the only one to notice his ass. I'm sure a few girls get into Med School with the sole purpose of landing a doctor, and a doctor with a sweet hot ass will be that much better."

I roll my eyes, I shouldn't have told her not to talk about Pete's ass - now she'll probably keep bringing it up. I decide to point out a fact, "It's not like it's easy to get into Med School. They don't just let anyone in."

"But think about it, it'd be the perfect place to check someone out, you'd get to see what field they're interested in, how smart they are – which can translate into how much money they'll make, and then you'd just have to smarm your way into a study group with one and then you'd be guaranteed long nights in the library with minimal interferences."

Damn it, Jo! Like I needed something else to be paranoid about. I know Pete, he wouldn't fall for some bimbo's tricks… but if she got into Med School she wouldn't be a bimbo, she'd have to be smart, she'd be an intelligent and conniving gold digger. The image of a pretty blonde studying anatomy with my Pete fills my mind and I grind my teeth together. Jeez, Jo, I'm so happy I invited you over. I had been at peace with myself.

"I'm not going to marry Pete just to scare other girls off."

"But you _do_ want to marry him right?" She asked.

Do I want to get married, I always knew the answer to that, but it's an entirely different question to ask if I want to marry Pete.

Have him for my husband?


	30. Chapter 30

"Yes," I say, answering Jo's question. I do want to marry him, be husband and wife, live together. I start thinking aloud, "When we're ready… But not just so other girls can't have him, I would because I want to be with him, forever."

"No need to starting writing your vows, it was just a question. If you had said no I would have smacked you."

I continue thinking, but start keeping them to myself. We haven't even been dating for 7 months, just a less over half a year, so much had happened in such a short amount of time. Why didn't I feel anxious about that? 7 months ago I had no intention of ever being in a serious relationship, I had my drinking buddies and my fuck buddies, the two did not mix and I wanted no more from either. Now, not only did I have a few actual friends but I was also in a serious romantic relationship with someone that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Picturing my life a year ago, I had been living in a pit filled with drugs and alcohol, doing my very best to be alone and stay alone. Not for the first time, I wonder how I was lucky enough not to have OD'd, I had close calls with rapid heart rate and panicked thoughts, but I had always been able to grit my teeth and wait for the high to finally end. I know I never thought that I was OK or "normal", but how had I let myself get like that. Over a year of my life was spent "getting by" line and line, gram after gram. Would I have quit if I hadn't met Pete? If I hadn't met Pete… what if I had stayed longer at the library the night I met him for the second time, I would've missed him, if I had refused to give him my number, or if I didn't answer my phone when he had called Thanksgiving day? I picture myself for a moment back in my old apartment, spending my summer break with a bottle of whiskey and a pile of blow… would I even still be here. I would've gone through my Uncle's murder investigation alone… would the whole "Marv-incident" turned out differently. My old self wouldn't have gone out drinking with Jo, I would have stayed holed up in my apartment. Would Marv have come to my apartment…

Jo's voice brings me out of my thoughts as they start to turn into waking nightmares.

"Speak of the charmer himself…. Did you make your brother's last weekend as a free man memorable, or are you honor bound to silence?"

Pete gives me a kiss on the cheek, relief fills me, he was here with me. I can't think about "what-ifs" with the past. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to sit next to me. He puts his arms around me, when I don't show any sign of letting go of him he tightens his hold on me. He can always tell when I need comforting. My anxiety starts dissipating and I let out a contented sigh, he smells of cigarette smoke and beer, not the best combination but he makes it work.

"Is this a moment?" I hear Jo ask. I close my eyes and ignore her.

"OK, fine. I can take a hint," She gets up, "I'm going to take a peek in your closet, I'm meeting a baseball stud for lunch tomorrow."

I hear her go inside. I pull back and look at Pete, "Hi."

His hand grazes over my jaw, "Hey. How are you doing?" He probably thinks Jo was teasing me and caused me to be upset. Sometimes he acts like I'm so fragile… well I guess I am, mentally and emotionally.

"Fine." I give him a kiss, "I better go supervise Jo before she cleans me out."

Yet another thing that's changed about me, is that 7 months ago I wouldn't have given two shits about my closet size… Now, although I'm sure I don't have the same amount of giddiness as other girls might, I love my new closet. It's a full-fledged walk in closet, the size of my bathroom at my old apartment. Built in cedar shelves filled half a wall and behind two tall cabinet doors you could store dozens of shoes, it's less than halfway full (I'm working on filling it, but Jo keeps "borrowing" things).

"Nothing new?" Jo asks with obvious disappointment.

I rolled my eyes, "If you want a bigger selection go to the mall."

"Nah, I'll just wait for your next shipment to come in… In the meantime I think I'll borrow this," She holds up Juicy sleeveless printed blouse.

I actually like that top but let her take it, I'll be lucky if she brings it back, I'll be extremely lucky if it's brought back without a stain on it. Without warning she strips her top off and slips mine on, she looks in the mirror judging her appearance. Even with her coke-head-thin frame she still filled my tops out better than me, I've never exactly wanted to be, uh, more endowed in that area, sometimes I do wish I had more to work with than my little B cups. Pete seems to enjoy them anyways, that's the main point. But looking at Jo's body, her back was positively boney.

"Have you ever thought of giving the blow up?" I asked. I feel I'm crossing a taboo line that's been drawn in our friendship. She looks at me for a moment, I think I actually shocked her into silence, momentary silence anyways.

"You going to start preaching?" She asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

"No, just a question."

"Well, don't start getting all high and mighty on me now that your free of the stuff."

Her rude remarks don't really effect me any more, I shrug, "Like I said, just a question." I pause for a second, "You should know that it's worth it. It's the biggest pain in the ass getting off of it... I'm still not free of it, I think about it, but it's... nice now, not to be on it."

"Thought you weren't going to preach. Besides it's not like your even saying things that are awe inspiring. No shit it'd be worth it to get off of it, no shit it'd be a pain in the ass."

"Sorry," I put my hands up in a surrender position, "Just saying."

"Well stop."

Neither of us say any more and she leaves shortly after that.

Pete comes up from behind me wraps his arms around me and gives me a quick kiss on my neck, I lean back into him and we stay like that for a while.

"You're a good friend," He tells me. I guess he heard our conversation.

I let out a scoff, "A good friend? I gave her free coke when I was trying to get off of it. I know she has her own access to it, but what kind of friend would do that? I should have dumped it."

"Let it be her decision. You can be there for her when she decides to quit."

"If. If she decides to quit."

"It helps to think positive."

"You're better at that than I am. I'm too realistic to be positive… Maybe I can start bribing her with clothes, if she can stay clean for a month I'll take her shopping."

"Probably not the best way to go about it," Pete says with a small smile, "Besides she basically gets to go shopping every time she comes over here. You _are_ a good friend for her."

I shrug, still not believing him. I turn to look at him, "So, how was the bachelor party?"

"It was fun. Had a VIP room at Crave, never done that before. Not really worth the price, but it was fun. The girls had gone to Aqua but joined us around 11. I'll be surprised if Delly hasn't puked yet, she started drinking the vodka straight from the bottle at our table. Kate wasn't in much better condition, I don't think I've ever seen her completely wasted before… Wish Charlie could have come down for it." Charlie is Mark's best man. "He's flying in Wednesday and is going to stay at our house, in my room."

"Do you think he'll rat you out, that you stay here."

He lets out a chuckle, "No, I covered for him plenty when we were younger. His girlfriend, Cecelia is going to be here for the wedding, looking forward to meeting her." Pete's parents had met Cecelia a few months ago, and Charlie had stayed in Chicago with her parents for Easter. I think she was a teacher in one of the suburbs off of Chicago.

We crawl into bed a little later, Pete pulls me close to him and nuzzles his face into my hair, his breath warm on my neck.

"Can I ask what you and Jo were talking about when I came home?"

I turn to face him and give him a smirk that says, "Oh if you only knew". Aloud I say, somewhat playfully, "Just stuff."

He picks up on my playfulness and kisses near my ear, "What kind of stuff."

Should I tell him? I don't want him to think I'm pressuring him or that I think he'd fall for some sleazy gold diggers slutty antics.

I must have thought too long on the subject.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"Jo was just asking, about us…" I suddenly feel shy, I don't want it to seem like I'm fishing for a proposal from him.

"She likes to tease you."

"Yeah… She was saying that Finn and Annie will probably get married… then she asked about us."

He gives me forehead a kiss, "Don't let her teasing get to you, she gets a kick out of seeing how uncomfortable she can get you."

Oh, he probably thinks that's why I was a little upset earlier. I want to set him straight, it wasn't because of the thought of marriage that made me nervous, anxious, upset, or whatever I was earlier, it was the thought of life without him.

"Well she certainly does thrive off of awkward conversations, you should have heard her talking about female med school students, but I said that…" I close my eyes, God this was awkward, "We would- I would want to," I open my eyes and his eyes are wide staring at me, oh crap he thinks I'm rushing into it, I quickly say, "I'm not saying we need to, or-or that I expect to… She just asked me if I would marry you and I said that I would, but I know we aren't ready yet, I mean we've known each other for like half a year… I'm not saying you need to ask me. Jo was just-"

Pete cuts me off with a kiss, then pulls back and looks at me with a "stop talking" look.

But I don't, I continue talking, though a bit slower, "It got me thinking… About how much has changed… and what my life would be like if I hadn't met you. I don't ever want to be without you."

"You won't." He brings his lips to mine for a tender kiss, our bodies meld together in the dark. He didn't seem freaked out, I should have known he'd be understanding, I'm the one that get freaked out easily. My worries from the day melt away as our kisses turn passionate.

As was becoming the norm (judging from my last trip anyways), when I was in Nordstrom with Annie the conversation centered around Finn. I think I've learned more about him from Annie in the past four months than I had in the two years I've known him. Of course for the first year of knowing him, my knowledge of him mainly consisted of his choice of liquor, bourbon, and the fact that he can roll an awesome blunt.

"He's not as full of himself as he tries to act," She tells me as she holds up one of the dresses she had picked out for Mark and Kate's wedding, "This one just came in last week, I know it's a bit softer than your usual look, but for a summer wedding I think it'll be perfect."

A strapless light blue A-line dress, it is pretty, strapless dresses always make me nervous, I don't have the curves to keep it up, though I've learned to humor Annie.

"Finn has his own personal inside joke about narcissism. Took me a little while not to find it nauseating," I say then quickly look at Annie, "But he is a great guy." I'm always putting my foot in my mouth, Finn really likes her and I'm sure it wouldn't help his case if I mention how his flirting used to make me want to puke.

Annie just laughs it off and continues showing me what she had pulled ahead of time for me, it's a full wardrobe, outfits ranging from date night to workouts. The process of trying things on is very time consuming, for the spring wardrobe I was there for two hours, but the time had gone by quickly then, just like it is now. Especially now that we've seen each other in the "outside world", we have more to talk about, I find myself actually enjoy having "girl-talk" time with her. I wouldn't presume so much as to think that she's my friend, I'm probably just another client to her or a friend of her boyfriend. We'd probably fall more under the definition of close acquaintances. Of course, there are the awkward moments were she picks out different undergarments for certain clothing, like the strapless blue dress I decided to go with, she went and found me a strapless bra that she swore up and down would not slip down, I don't think I've ever had a close acquaintance pick out bras for me.

Getting ready for the wedding is a nerve racking experience, no actually _thinking_ about the wedding is nerve racking. I should just skip the ceremony and go to the reception. I'm going to be sitting alone for the ceremony, apart from Pete's family and Kate I won't know anyone. Everyone I know is involved in the ceremony. I guess I'll see some people from soccer. "Great," I think, "I'll get to sit next to Enobaria." I'm sure she's invited, even though her and Kate don't really get along - well no one gets along with Enobaria.

One final look in the mirror, the blue dress is fitted tightly to my top half, easing my worries of it falling down, the skirt just brushes the tops of my knees. My knees were a bit darker than my calves and I had a slight shin guard tan, not too noticeable though, the tan line low on my ankles from my running socks stands out more to me. It doesn't bother me, I'd rather have those tan lines then go fry my skin in disease infested tanning bed where countless other girls have put their sweaty ass cracks on… Anyways… My hair was in a neat French braid that curves off to my right so it hangs down over my right shoulder. I had the earrings and necklace on that Pete had given me, and I had even put a bit of makeup on.

Pete looked dashing in his gray 3 piece suit with a blue tie. Him and Charlie were showing people to their seats, along with the two ushers, two guys from the soccer team. Pete takes my arm and leads me down the aisle. It's then I notice he has a pair of bright blue converse sneakers on, with a dress suit…

"You look beautiful, Katniss."

"You look very handsome, nice shoes," I reply looking up at him with a smile and he chuckles. I have a feeling that this was Mark's contribution to the groomsmen's attire. My smile falters as I realize where he's leading me to, the family section.

"Pete," I whisper, "I can't sit here. This area is for your family."

"You have a seat reserved here, next to Cecelia," He motions to my seat, "I'll find you after the service." He kisses my cheek and I go to sit next to Charlie's girlfriend Cecelia. I met her for the first time last night at the rehearsal dinner. She's very nice, but I have a hard time finding things to talk about with her, she loves to talk about the 1st graders she teaches, but I don't really have anything to contribute to that conversation.

"Your dress looks lovely, Katniss," She tells me.

"Oh, thank you," I say, my mind reels, return the compliment, "Your dress is very pretty."

"Thank you, it's actually my sisters. Shh," She gives me a playful smile, "Don't tell her I borrowed it."

I don't know your sister, so I doubt I'll tell her. I give Cecelia a smile, then thankfully the music changes, signaling that guests should be seated. Pete and Charlie escorted their Parents and Grandparents down the aisle, Grandma and Grandpa Mellark and their Grandpa Klef (their Mother's Father), he lived in Texas close to their Aunt Polly. I met him last night too, he seemed… jolly, would be the only word I'd have to describe him. Pete told me stories of visiting him and their Grandma (who passed away 10 years ago) and helping in their bakery.

The wedding procession started, Pete and Charlie walked down the aisle with the two bridesmaids. The ring bearer and the flower girl came dutifully down after.

When Kate walked into the room, I heard a collective sigh. She looked beautiful, her red hair was loosely pulled back, little blue flowers were tucked into her hair, and her dress was ivory lace with a tight bodice that flared ever so slightly at her hips than hung down gracefully.

"The dress reminds me of Grace Kelly's dress, it's beautiful on her," Cecelia whispers to me.

Grace Kelly, I know she was an actress that married the Prince of Monaco, or something, but I couldn't remember ever seeing a picture of her dress, so I just nod in agreement.

The last wedding I went to was when I was 7 and one of my parent's friends got married, so I have nothing to compare it to, but I think it was a beautiful ceremony.

The reception was actually fun, I know that receptions are supposed to be fun (to some level anyways), but I was surprised how fun it was. I never thought that I would voluntarily dance sober(ish) to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson, heck I even got down to the "Hokey Pokey". Pete of course had to show off his moves, which are far superior to mine, when a jazzy tune started. I had never actually been spun while dancing, but by the end of that song I had been spun, lifted and dipped and I loved it, made me feel all girly and giddy (the giddiness might also be in part because of the champagne… eh, who can tell?). Pete danced with his cousin Susie, which let me catch a breather.

Kevin takes the seat beside me, "I see you've got some moves outside of the soccer field."

I snort (very ladylike I know) "Hardly, I just try to follow Pete and not break any of his toes."

"I don't think so, I think you can hold your own, come on let's dance." He jumps to his feet and holds his hand out to me.

I hesitate.

"Oh come on, I won't try to steal you away from Petey. But if you make that decision yourself, I can't be held responsible."

I roll my eyes and stand, "I'll have to be extra careful not to break any of _your_ toes, don't want to injure a teammate, we'll be down two players as it is for the next game since Mark and Kate will still be on their honeymoon."

"You'll have to talk Pete into playing with us."

We danced for a little while, then came close to where Pete and Susie were dancing (her standing of his feet), "I'm watching you, Kev," Pete said in a mock serious tone.

"You caught me, Pete, we were just planning to dash away into the night," He looks down at me and says with a sigh, "Sorry sweetheart, change of plans."

I look over at Pete and he meets my gaze. I feel a longing to be in his arms, it's silly, I was just dancing with him not 5 minutes ago.

"Enough eye fucking."

"Kevin," Pete says sharply and looks down at Susie, who was thankfully watching her sister Mary dancing with some boy on the other side of the dance floor.

Kevin just laughed and moved us away from him.

"When are you and Pete going to have a wedding?"

Don't blush, don't blush, "We aren't engaged," I say matter-of-factly.

"Won't be long I'm sure. Mark and I have a wager going."

I look at him with a scowl, "You two have a bet about Pete and I?"

Kevin chuckled, "Opps, wasn't supposed to mention it. Don't want Mark to think that I was tipping the scale in my favor."

"And what exactly is this bet about?" I demand.

"Oh, I can't expose too much of the details." Then he gives me a big wink.

Hours later, Pete and I are in bed, his fingers tracing circles on my bare back.

"Your brother has a bet with Kevin about us."

He pauses, "Oh?"

"Yeah, he said he couldn't give me any details." I don't mention that it probably/definitely is about us getting married, him and I seriously just had a conversation about that, I don't want bring it up again. We haven't been dating for nearly as long as Mark and Kate dated before getting engaged, but in the back of my mind I think of my parents, by this time in their relationship they were engaged and three months away from their wedding. Damnit, why do I keep thinking about this? He hasn't asked me... In fact, the only time he's ever mentioned marriage was when he said he didn't want to move in together without being married. I need to stop thinking about it and just let it happen as it happens, I'm perfectly happy with how this relationship is now, that's the important part... What if he thinks I'm not marriage material. Stop it, Katniss.


	31. Chapter 31

As if I wasn't already thinking about marriage more than what was good for me, Charlie and Cecelia announced their engagement the very next day over brunch. Mark and Kate invited everyone to the restaurant at the hotel that they stayed in last night. Near the end of the meal, Mark cleared his throat loudly, "Thank you all for coming, even if it was just for the free food, but my big brother has something to say."

Charlie looked down the table at his parents, then took Cecelia's hand and said that they were engaged. An eruption of "How wonderful" and "Congratulations" rose from the table. After the excitement toned down and we got the story behind it, he had proposed last week while they had been taking a dinner cruise on the lake, they wanted to wait until after the wedding (Cecelia said something about "Not stealing anyone's thunder").

Charlie had told Mark about it, Mark joked, "I was thinking we could just turn our wedding into a double wedding, but I guess they need more time."

Everyone wanted to see the ring, even Kate's parents, I guess it had been in the Mellark family for a few generations or something; or to put it in Grandma Mellark's words "Your Great-great Grandfather Mellark gave that to your Great-great Grandmother when they lived in Poland. They crossed the Atlantic 5 years later when your Great-Grandfather was only 3." The story went on, Great-Grandfather Mellark gave it to his bride, then Grandpa Mellark gave it to her for an engagement ring. "It always goes to the oldest son."

"Well here's to hoping you have a boy," Mark says raising his glass. Grandma Mellark pursed her lips slightly, I don't know if it was at Mark's flippant behavior regarding a family heirloom or because of the insinuation that Charlie and Cecelia might not have a son (like Cecelia or Charlie could control it).

Mark sets his glass down then looks at Pete, "Pete do you have any announcement for us?"

Everyone's head turns and stares at the two of us, with expressions varying from excitement to disbelief.

Crawling under the table seems like the best option for me, I'll just stay there until they all leave.

"Ha, ha, Mark," Is all that Pete has to say to get people to realize that we weren't also engaged. Kate elbows Mark and I hear her playfully scolding him. Everyone's attentions drift elsewhere. I'm sure my face is still bright red, I'm still thinking about crawling under the table, but now that no one is looking at me, maybe I can make a break for the bathroom or the car.

Pete squeezes my hand and leans over to whisper, "Relax." He brushes his finger up the nape of my neck, his touch giving me goosebumps and calming me down at the same time. I looked at him and stare into his blue eyes, his beautiful blue eyes that I get lost in.

"Your brother likes to tease me."

"No, he likes to tease me," He says with a smile.

By the next day Mark and Kate are in Hawaii where they'll stay for two weeks, and Pete's family has returned to their own homes.

Pete and I spend the next day starting to plan for our big camping trip. Pete got his camping gear out of his attic to sort through everything. We set the tent up on the deck to air it out, Jo came over and got giddy (yes, Jo got giddy), and she crawled in there like a kid exploring a fort.

"We should totally hot box the tent."

"It's Pete's, I don't think he wants us to smoke inside his, probably flammable, tent," I tell her, her face falls with disappointment.

"Party pooper."

Pete has practically everything we need, he even has a campfire coffee pot… I had planned on just taking the bare-necessities, but coffee will be so nice for mornings. I had bought both of us clothes that were supposed to be awesome for hiking and camping, light weight, easy to clean, quick drying and comfortable. Pete and I started planning the menu, we had slight disagreements about it, my plan was to bring instant oatmeal, fishing gear and something to cook the fish and oatmeal in, and leave it at that. Pete wanted to bring more. "At least something to eat with the fish for lunch and dinner, I'll get cranky with nothing but fish and oatmeal for 6 days straight."

I snorted with laughter, "You'll get cranky?" I've never seen Pete in any type of mood resembling cranky.

"That just sounds depressing. No fruit or bread, no vegetables either!"

"We'll bring some dried fruit and nuts for snacks. And oatmeal is a grain, you don't need bread," Is my counter argument.

In the end, after Pete's assures me that he'll be in charge of carrying the food in his pack, I let him pack a few things, applesauce and carrots, those will be light enough, carrots will keep in the soft sided lunchbox size cooler we're bringing. I put up a fight against the cornmeal and butter.

"Cornmeal? What the hell are you going to make with cornmeal?" I've never cooked with it, and I'm not sure if I've ever eaten it before, and "Butter?! You're going to carry a stick of butter in your backpack?"

"I'll put it in a tin, it'll be fine."

"Should we bring a gallon of milk too? How about some canned goods?" I ask sarcastically.

"I'm letting you bring your new camping shower, I'll be fine bathing in the lake. _And_ you're bring two pairs of shoes."

I cross my arms over my chest, "First of all, my camping shower weighs all of 4 ounces and folds up easily. And aside from my hiking shoes, which I'll be wearing, I'm packing flip flops... It's not like I'm bringing high heels."

Him and I have a small stare-off, before his blue eyes twinkle and a grin spreads across his face. He closes the space between us and kisses my jaw, he brings his mouth to my ear to whisper, "You look very cute when you scowl."

How can I scowl and look cute, scowling is the exact opposite of "cute". I start to open my mouth to make some type of snappish reply, but he starts kissing my jaw line and trailing down my neck, causing me to not only forget what I was going to say, but also that we had been arguing. I run my hand throw his hair and I can't help but let out a moan when he grazes his teeth on my ear lobe. His arms wrap around me and I feel him smile against my neck, he thinks he won the argument, I can almost feel his satisfaction. I pull away, taking two steps back, and look him in the eye. "I am right, we don't need all that stuff… You think you can win any argument by kissing me, it's not going to work."

He raises his eyebrows, and he gives me a "is that a challenge?" look.

I narrow my eyes at him, as he starts to slowly move closer to me. I back up away from him. Don't smile, don't smile, I repeat to myself over and over. My resolution breaks and my smile acts like a trigger and he makes a lunge to grab me, but I manage to duck and take off running across my apartment. I run through the apartment, barely keeping out of his grasp. We play this little game for a little while until I purposefully slow down by the sofa. Pete catches me by my waist pulls me closer to him, my back pressed up against his chest. Right away his mouth is on my neck, I let out a moan as his brushes my ear with his mouth. He spins me around so I'm facing him and presses me into the sofa, kissing me passionately.

I like to think of our argument as "unresolved", but I'm sure Pete views it as won, especially since I let him pack his precious butter and cornmeal. I even turn my head the other way when he brings five packs of ramen noodles.

A few days later, I have my apartment in "hibernation mode", I've unplugged everything from the walls, closed all the curtains and turned to A/C to 85. Pete and I walk out wearing our new hiking gear, hiking shoes and our huge backpacks. It was so exciting to be leaving the modern world. I got Pete to sing along with me to the radio as we drove north.

Pete stopped at the gas station when we were about an hour and a half out of town, I grabbed a Sugar Free Red Bull and Pete got some Skittles and a soda, "Last stop for sugar," He said.

We had another two hours before we got to the parking lot, inside the little log cabin there was a man who we had made the reservations with. He gave us a map to our campsite, it was about three miles away.

We took advantage of the bathroom (with real plumbing) before getting ready to leave. Then we got our packs strapped on our backs and fastened in the front, Pete re-tied and doubled knotted his shoe laces. Then we were ready to head off.

The first quarter mile had a few campsites scattered around, people wanting to stay close to the in-door plumbing but still experience the "wild", there was even a swing set for kids.

When we got away from the "crowded" area, we slowed our walk to a more leisurely pace. The smell of pine filled the air and the only sound we could hear were the birds. We respected the silence for the majority of the hike and talked only when necessary.

We reach our designated campsite, marked by the number 74 carved into a piece of wood and hanging from the branch of a tall oak. Large white stones circle the fire pit and the only evidence of previous campers is the small pile of wood that they had gathered but not needed.

Pete and I stand and take it in for a moment.

"Well, let's get started," Pete says and unfastened his pack and set it down, I quickly follow in suit. My back is relieved to be free of the heavy pack.

Finding the smoothest and even ground we make quick work getting the tent set up. We unload all the extra large sleeping bag and unroll the self inflating sleeping pad. We had made sure not to have any food in my pack, just clothes and other odds and ends, so my pack gets stored in the tent.

For Pete's bag we take our rope out and tie it to a rock to throw over a tall branch on the other side of the clearing, then tie his backpack to the rope and pull it up off the ground, preventing any wildlife from stealing our food.

"Wanna see what the lake has to offer?" I ask, I had the fishing poles ready along with a single sheet of newspaper and a small hunting knife that we can use to clean the fish. Pete grabs the 5 gallon jug he had tied to the back of his pack and the water purifying tablets.

Zipping everything up, we set off down a slightly worn path down the hill towards were the map said the lake was. It was only a 5 minute walk, we saw the "fish cleaning station", where you were suppose to clean your fish. There are some animals who might like the smell of fish guts, I'm not one of them and I don't want to attract any to my campsite, so you clean your fish well away from where you'll be sleeping.

The lake is large and beautiful, it's so calm and still, the trees surrounding it are perfectly reflected on the water. Pete and I just stood still and looked for a few minutes. Pete fills the jug up and drops the tablets in. Then we found a good spot to cast our lines in.

I sat with my back up against Pete and he laid his head against mine. The feel of his breath on my temple was so relaxing and comforting. After having no luck for a long time, we moved down the shore line a bit and were finally able to catch a fish each. Which is good because my stomach is starting to rumble. After cleaning the fish, Pete's job not mine (ick), and then buried the remains.

"Let's go see what we can whip up," Pete says to me after cleaning his hands in the lake.

While I get the fire set up and going, Pete is seasoning the fish with salt and a mix of herbs he brought.

A few mushrooms are thrown into the pan and we set it on the collapsible wire rack that serves as a cook top. Sitting together, watching our food slowly cooking, I can't imagine being anywhere better than this. The sun is starting to set as the food finishes up. I don't know if the bug repellant we're using is actually working or if the smoke from the fire is keeping the mosquitoes at bay, but apart from the occasional buzzing we haven't been bothered by them.

The fish flakes apart easily while we eat and it tastes delicious, better than I would have made it.

"Yum," I say/moan as I eat. Apart from the skittles and trail mix of nuts and dried fruit, we hadn't eaten anything since eleven this morning. 9 hours never seemed so long.

"Now imagine if it was just a plain slab of fish with no seasoning," He says, mocking me for not wanting to bring all these "extras".

"It'd still taste delicious," I say tilting my chin up defiantly, "Besides, I was never against bringing a little salt."

"Uh huh," He says with a grin.

"I'm not saying you were right," I start, "I'm glad you brought your fancy little extras." Pete laughs while I continue, "But I would have been fine going about it my way."

"Oh? And what if there hadn't been any fish to catch? What would you have done?"

"Tried harder," I say with a smug grin, "Hunger can be a damn good incentive to get moving and figure something out."

Pete rolls his eyes and we finish the rest of the food, scrapping the pan. Munching on some raw carrots we wash the dishes in the soft sided collapsible "sink" with biodegradable soap. There is a designated "gray water" disposal area a couple yards from the camp site where everyone before us had dumped their dish water. Though there wasn't much food partials left on the plates when we washed them, it could be enough to attract hungry critters, and hungry critters aren't something you want close to your campsite.

Once all the clean dishes and food is stored away in Pete's pack we secure it up in the tree. Now, there is nothing to do but sit and watch the stars get brighter and brighter. We let the campfire burn out as we lay snuggled together on the hard earth.

"This is perfect," Pete says, sighing contentedly, stroking my arm lightly with his hand.

I nod and lean my head up to his cheek to give it a kiss.

After watching the moon creep over the tree line for a good long while, Pete says we should tuck in and I quickly agree.

The night is warm so we decide to lay atop the sleeping bag and use a light blanket as a cover.

We lay still for a few seconds before I bring my lips to his jaw line and slowly start working my way up to his ear, I graze my teeth over the lobe before whispering, "God, I want you."

He quickly takes control and rolls on top of me while giving me a passionate kiss. His hands worked up my thin pajama top and I took it off the rest of the way, I hear it hit the side of the tent before falling down. Both his hands twist at my nipples and I feel my toes curl and a wet warmth pooling between my legs.

"Oh, God, Pete… I want you so bad," I pant as he sucks along my collarbone.

"Tell me how bad, Katniss," He says gruffly.

"So fucking bad, Pete. I'm so wet for you. I need you. Now, Pete, now."

He slides off my bottoms and his fingers swirl around once before he sends two fingers in. It drives me crazy, making me want him completely inside of me even more. His thumb rubs over the sensitive nerves on my clit and I feel so close to the edge but so frustratingly far away.

I moan as his curls his fingers slightly, then moan louder as his mouth bits down on my nipple. "I want your dick… I need your dick inside me, now, Pete."

I can hear him quickly pulling his pants off then he's hovering over me again.

"Say it again." His has his tip right at my entrance, fucking tease.

"I need your dick inside of me, Pete. Oh God I fucking need it."

He slips right in, all the way, then pulls back out, tickling my clit with his tip again before plunging back into me.

"Again, again," I beg and he pulls all the way out again, when he pushing back into me for the third time my body explodes. My limbs and my mind feel numb for a moment, then I am slowly able to start thrusting my hips up and matching Pete' speed as he thrusts deeper and deeper. We roll over so I'm on top and he leans up and takes my nipple in his mouth as I ride on top of him. I feel another orgasm building and I moan Pete's name and he moans against my breast sending me over the edge again, this time I feel Pete's cum searing inside of me as we orgasm together. We lay panting together for a while before I move off of him.

"Holy crap, Pete. If camping sex is always going to be this good, we need to do this more often."

He gives me a kiss, "I'm game."

We slip back into our clothes and snuggle back under the blanket.

The next morning is filled with the aches the come with sleeping on the ground (no matter how much padding). After stretching and a few back massages we get breakfast ready. Oatmeal with dried fruit.

"Doesn't bacon sound good right now?" Pete asks in a dreamy voice.

I laugh but agree.

"We could have frozen it and it would've kept till the morning in the cooler pouch."

"Eh," I say with a shrug, "Not necessary."

We spend the morning hiking around our area, never going more than a mile from camp, then manage to scrounge up some more fish and we even stumbled upon a berry bush, so we gathered some up to have with lunch. Pete made some cornbread and fried it in the butter, the smell of butter melting in the pan was enough to make me salivate.

That was how the days passed, eating, hiking, fishing, and sleeping… Well and the other stuff that happened in the tent, I'm pretty sure we scared away any form of nocturnal wildlife, but it was such a turn on, knowing that for almost a mile any direction there wasn't any other person around, makes me feel wild.

The last night was a sad one, eating ramen noodles with out fish and watching the stars for the final time of this trip.

"We should do this again soon," Pete said.

I agreed.

"The fall would be pretty."

"And cold," I added.

"Well, maybe we could rent out a little cabin… One with a big fireplace."

"That'd be nice. It would just have to be for the weekend though." Our classes would be starting again by fall.

"Maybe pick a long weekend, like Thanksgiving."

"Spend the whole Thanksgiving weekend away? What about your family dinner?"

"Thanksgiving will always be our holiday," He says and kisses my temple, "Our first date."

I smile and look up at him, he is really almost too sweet.

"That sounds perfect. We can make up a nice meal just the two of us… well, I'll help you make a nice meal."

November is a long way off, but it's nice to know that we'll be escaping the city again before too long. Plus, what a romantic way to spend the anniversary of our first date, much more romantic then going to his parents house.


End file.
